#gender conditioning

[sylvia-de-silva]

Dear Eldest Daughters

I cannot help but wonder

who taught us

that to ask for anything

we must first be

everything.

I cannot help but wonder

Who breathed life to our clay

To live to serve

To serve to live

Till the day we return to earth

and our bones

feed the living.

I cannot help but wonder

which God made a sack

of our hearts, strong enough

to carry the lives

of everyone we ever loved.

Whether child,

or with child,

young or old,

abled or ill.

Age is just another whip;

no poor beast could

learn our trick

of balancing

a world on our heads

and one on our hips.

I cannot help but wonder

if a mule ever dreams

of being a horse

wild in the wind.

Or if the saddle bags

breaking its back

reassures it that

it has somewhere

to call home.

I cannot help but wonder

What happens when

we are no longer daughters,

nor wives, nor sisters

When we have no children

or children's children.

What is a pack mule

without a bridle?

Is it free

or is it abandoned?

© Sylvia De Silva, 2021

[brocklrc]

The Pink and Blue Projects by JeongMee Yoon

"The Pink and Blue Projects were initiated by my five-year-old daughter, who loved the colour pink so much that she wanted to wear only pink clothes and play with only pink toys and objects," writes JeongMee Yoon. "I discovered that my daughter’s case was not unusual. "In the United States, South

[citizenshipandsocialjustice]

[thefeministherald]

SYDNEY, Australia — It was on a recent trip to Indonesia that, as a male bureaucrat sounded forth on a vast span of subjects without being asked to do so, I realized that the English language was in need of a new addition: the manologue. This otherwise perfectly charming man droned on and on, issuing a steady stream of words as I sat cramped in a tiny room with a group of fellow journalists and squinted at the labels on the soda cans hospitably placed on a table in front of us. Finally, I deciphered the words “HERBAL — TO RELEASE TRAPPED WIND.” After several minutes during which I silently prayed none of my colleagues would reach for a drink, the official at last uttered the words, “Now, to answer your question.” So why did we get so many words between the question asked and the answer given? Why were they spoken at all? And how can you stem such extraneous, long-winded trains of thought? How can you politely say to a prolix associate, as a TV host might: “We’re almost out of time; can you keep this short?” Above all, why do so many men do this?

[thefeministherald]

We're raising our girls to be perfect, and we're raising our boys to be brave, says Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code. Saujani has taken up the charge to socialize young girls to take risks and learn to program — two skills they need to move society forward. To truly innovate, we cannot leave behind half of our population, she says. "I need each of you to tell every young woman you know to be comfortable with imperfection."

[theperksofbeingabookseller]

Spinster Sunday: Non Pratt on gender conditioning through children’s toys and books.

Non Pratt, author of Trouble and Remix, comes to talk to us all about a rather heavy topic, the childhood conditioning that we almost do not notice - how girls toys come packaged mostly in pink, and boys in blue. “It’s just like Pavlovian Conditioning.” she tells us.

Despite the quite serious nature of the subject, Non and her amazing brand of humour manages to make us all burst into fits of laughter throughout. Using Harry Potter analogies and her hilarious way of explaining things, she points out that girls are usually given quiet toys and games, whereas boys are encouraged to be more adventurous and loud. She believes that this is why more girls enjoy reading than boys, which leads her to ask the question: How can we encourage more boys to enjoy reading?

Non thinks that by adding more action and adventure into young adult books, it could entice more boys into reading. But then she also questions what sort of message the books are sending if boys are always doing the rescuing in books. What about the boys that need rescuing?

This brings us around to the excellent #lettoysbetoys campaign, and it’s offshoot #letbooksbebooks. It is a movement to try and stop toys - and books - being packaged as ‘for girls’ or ‘for boys’. Non believes that we can fight this form of gender conditioning in a really simple way - by giving toys that would traditionally be for boys to girls, and vise versa. 

She ends by pointing out the reason she brings this topic up with young adults: that adults change the present, but if you want to change the future, then it’s down to teenagers. 

Non’s talk had the whole room thinking. It seems so obvious now that she has pointed it out to us, but until now it’s not something that we’ve ever really given much thought to - it is that deeply ingrained into us.

@nonthepratt on tumblr. Many thanks to @abookplaceforeveryone for putting on an amazing afternoon.

[thefeministherald]

Volunteers for Let Toys Be Toys watched 9 UK channels over 30 hours of programming to see how boys and girls are represented in TV advertisements for toys in the UK. The results should be no surprise to those parents who watch commercial television with their children; a majority of TV adverts show boys and girls playing separately, in very stereotypical ways. Boys were shown as active and aggressive, and the language used in adverts targeted at them emphasises control, power and conflict. Not one advert for baby or fashion dolls included a boy.Girls were generally shown as passive, unless they were dancing. The language used in the ads focuses on fantasy, beauty and relationships. Out of 25 ads for toy vehicles, only one included a girl. Ads targeted at boys were mainly for toys such as vehicles, action figures, construction sets and toy weapons, while those targeted at girls were predominantly for dolls, glamour and grooming, with an overwhelming emphasis on appearance, performing, nurturing and relationships. Ads that featured boys and girls together were usually in categories such as action/board games, art/craft materials, interactive toys and soft toys. The action games we watched all had boys and girls playing together, although boys outnumbered girls 3:2, and these ads all had male voiceovers. Some ads that featured boys and girls together showed them as adversaries, for example the girls screaming and running away from the boy’s Wild Pets remote control spider, or the boy trying to break into a girl’s secret journal.

[thefeministherald]

Sometimes, women respond to men online in the same unreserved, fearless way men respond to women in the physical part of the world. That angers them because they are not used to it.