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Personal Experiences

Being genderfluid isn’t easy. In fact, it’s really, really hard. Or at least it was for me. This post is about my personal experience of discovering I was genderfluid, coming out, and my ongoing path of self-discovery.

So, who am I? Well, I’m a nerd. An American. A traveler. An advocate for equality. A writer. A pansexual. But yeah, I’m also genderfluid.

I didn’t always know. (And that’s important. Even if you didn’t always know either, or you still don’t know, you are valid.)

I am a biological female, meaning (assigned female at birth, A.K.A. AFAB) I have all the genitalia of a woman, secondary sex-characteristics, I get my period every month because I’m still young, but more importantly, I look like society’s interpretation of what a girl looks like. My parents always liked to dress me up when I was younger, and I wore dresses to nice events, always got compliments like, “oh, you’re so beautiful”, “you are so polite”, etc. But I got the flip side of those comments too, like, “oh, you eat so much, like a guy”, “you’re smart, for a girl”, “no, no, let the guys carry the table, you can just stand there with your mom”. And I know, trust me, being a girl is hard. It sucks sometimes, even, because people don’t expect you to be strong, smart, or care about a lot of issues. For example, robotics - I was on the team for two entire years, and I didn’t even get a good position because there were thirty guys and only four girls. A lot of these stereotypes about girls got me thinking, maybe I don’t like being perceived this way. (And you don’t have to be genderfluid to think that.) I am strong. I am highly intelligent.

For a while I was really confused and torn about my gender. I like dressing up sometimes - school dances for example, I like wearing a long flowy dress with makeup and being told I’m gorgeous. Some days, I stare at myself if I’m wearing a crop top or a bikini and think, damn, I’m a hot girl.

But then there are the days where I don’t want to be a girl. I just… don’t. Some days, I feel androgynous, gender-neutral. Those days are weird because I don’t use they/them pronouns (if you use them that is great; I just don’t because I personally only relate to she/her or he/him). I just wanna be me for me. Y’know? Just a nonbinary, genderless nerd.

Days when I feel like a guy might be the hardest. At least right now, I don’t want any kind of surgery to change my appearance, because I do like looking like a girl sometimes. I’m actually lucky because my jawline is pretty sharp and I don’t have big breasts so I can get away looking androgeynous/masculine without a binder or makeup to alter my jawline. (Just me, again. You are VALID if you use binders/makeup/appearances to showcase your gender identity, and you are VALID if you do not!) I like to wear a hoodie, band tees, vests, trousers, blazers, etc. when I am male/masculine. But it completely sucks if it’s summer and all I brought on my trip is a bunch of bikinis and dresses, or if I have my period and don’t feel like a dude on the outside. Ugh.

Anyway, so when I was in middle school I realized I was having these thoughts, these feelings. I knew I wasn’t one gender or the other. I knew I was switching in between, feeling like a different one each day. (I’d say right now I’m 60% female, 30% gender neutral/a mixture of genders, and 10% male.) I talked to my school counselor a lot about it - I was really lucky because she was super inclusive and when I first came out to her, I was really scared, but she was great and let me spend a lot of time in her office. (This was great because I happened to live in a rural part of the U.S. where there were a lot of people who hated genderfluidity and the LGBTQ+ community, and made it hard for me to come out.) I wanted to tell my parents I was genderfluid, but I was scared because it is a relatively new concept for their generation to grasp (even though genderfluidity dates back to ancient times). So I sat on it.

Then… Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I liked looking at genderfluid memes, culture, fashion, etc. But I found a LOT more information there on transgender, specifically transguys (female to male, A.K.A. FTM). And coincidentally, I had a week or two during the winter where I felt totally like a dude. So I kind-of thought I was a transguy because my gender hadn’t changed in a while, and I came out as a transguy to my parents. Oof. It was not the right label for me. But how could I know?

My parents got me a gender therapist before I came out to anyone else. I absolutely love talking to her - highly recommend it. (There are a lot of online services like her’s that you can use.) And she helped me realize I’m not necessarily one gender, I am all of them. I am none of them. Sometimes, I like being a girl, being perceived as such. And other times, I like being a guy, or not any gender, or many at once.

I switched schools, and for high school, I was nervous. I wanted to be me, dress how I like, tell people. I was really, really afraid they wouldn’t like me. But guess what? I was honest, and I found a group of people who support my genderfluidity. Even a few teachers who could understand me.

There are pros and cons to coming out. If you aren’t safe, don’t do it. But I was lucky because I wasn’t in any danger. So for me, coming out was probably one of the best decisions, because now I know who my real friends are.

My journey isn’t over. It’s still hard. Sometimes, I don’t even know if my gender is valid. And my sexuality is a very separate story. But it’s okay, because now I have a support system. And that is what I hope to be to all you Tumblr readers.

“Your gender and sexuality are valid. You, are valid.” (Header is made by me. Please credit YumiDoodles if you use)

Hey guys I am trying to help spread the word. Fellow friends in the cosplay community, or supporters of gender identity, NostalgicAi is raising funds to help Artamis. Even if you just help spread the word that would help, thanks.

#nostalgicai #cosplay #gender #gender identity #surgery #go fund me #support #gender support #artamis

Hello!

My name’s Timmy. I’m non-binary trans, and go by “they/them/their/theirs/themself” pronouns. I’m graduating this May with a Bachelor’s in Music Education, and I’m staying at my school for the Masters in Teaching Program, which is a year long commitment.

When I came out as trans, I started doing so much better in so many areas of my life. I became socially active. I won the Concerto/Aria competition for my school, (which is A. something I never foresaw myself every wining until after I came out as trans B. one of the hugest honors you can get as a music major.) I got published to my Gender and Sexuality magazine on campus for my original projects. I started an educational presentation for my Washington Music Educator’s Association program entitled “Transgender Discussion, Music, and Mental Health: A Non-Binary Narrative.” It is a project I’m looking to advance through presenting to other music schools in the state of Washington and gender support groups in the area.

On my Tumblr, I will be posting original prose, projects, educational sources, original songs and compositions, and a lot about music. I’m very new to Tumblr, so I’m excited to see where this takes me!

#trans #transgender #genderqueer #genderfluid #gender support #transgender education #music #classical music #music performance #art music #music education #gender performativity #performance #non-binary #narrative #prose #saxophone

Self Defense

Self Defense www.becominghailey.wordpress.com

I hear a lot about the awful situations that those who in the transgender community as well as those who identify differently then the gender they were given at birth. One of the biggest excuses I always hear is that “well I am such a small person and I could not possibly do anything to help myself out”. This is definitely incorrect and I think just by having a bit of knowledge you may change…

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#gender identity #Gender Support #Palm Beach #Safety #self defense #transgender #transition