Had the weirdest dream napping earlier. I decided to give my mission another go. After everything that has happened since coming back I was still allowed to go back out after ship shaping my stuff up with my leaders. Fast forward to the field again and I'm still a little rusty understanding the Gospel again because I hadn't been close to the spirit in a while. We are having a missionary fireside with an apostle(a 70). I'm sat talking to my companion during this fireside asking her questions about some of the stuff he's saying so I'm understanding right. This apostle notices from afar that I'm basically chatting right through his presentation and on multiple occasions tells me to stop talking. I carry on because I want to understand and learn. He gets me up in front of my entire mission and makes an example of me for not listening to his instruction. Telling me how can I be a good missionary if I can't even be obedient in the small things? After that experience I came back to our apartment and somehow found the address to send him letters despite the white handbook rule.... I ended up writing him a very heartfelt letter shaming him for shaming me. I felt shit. So now I've woke up feeling shit. My dreams recently have been really unusual and they wake me up with such unease. So there you have it. I took another go at my mission covered in tattoos.. repentant.. not so good understanding of the Gospel (that would never happen mind you)... And still feisty than ever 🤣
