I do need to be more responsible so that I can be a positive role model but alas
I’m not a leader
I don’t know most things
And I’m definite not wise enough for that
I don’t want to be a leader
But to my little brother
And his adorable friends
And to my younger cousins
I am ... something, I guess, as the oldest
Because I’m not an adult
I don’t carry the authority and judgement adults wield
I’m one of them and we fight the same battles to an extent
But I am older
So I can give them the support they sometimes need
And I can give it to them for free
Without wanting their obedience in return
And they look to me, not for guidance, but they do look to me
And I do want to set a good example
But like I said, I don’t know ... almost everything really
I know more than the climate-denying adults though
I’ve been thinking a lot about age and generation dynamics
And I understand that my age doesn’t give me wisdom, not really
Wisdom comes from experience, empathy, and unfortunately, pain
And everyone has their own experiences and has their own pain
The best thing I can give
That anyone can give
To the younger ones I think
Is freedom to find their own meaning in their experiences
The support to be empathetic of others’ lives
The encouragement that they can get through pain
I’m in this liminal space
Where there’s nothing adult about me
But there are so many little kids
That want to see some kind of role model in me
I know I’m a shitty role model though
As much as I know I should be braver
But if I can encourage these kids to look for answers themselves
To think for themselves
To participate in democracy themselves
To look for kindness and justice themselves
Oh gosh that would be great
