Gerridism
There are many different religions and sub religions and different interpretations on religion and interpretations on interpretations on religion, and I, too, once fell for the truths that they believed were the truth...of the subsection of the subsection of an Old Light-New Light break off of a regional version of a religion.
However, three years ago, it hit me and I was instantly enlightened. I couldn't believe that I hadn't seen it before! I told the people I knew about my breakthrough, but just like every new prophet, my idea was shot down under the title of Lunatic. For three years, I kept what I knew close to my heart in the hope that someday, someone would discover the truth as well.
I can wait no longer. I feel that the world is finally ready for what I've learned. Many may call my ideas mad, but I care for that no longer. I know the truth. God is a water strider.
It's been so obvious, just staring people in the face, but we were just too blind with our own self righteousness to see. We thought we were made in His image, but it is not us who hold the honor, only those who have been enlightened will reincarnate as a water strider, then ascend to Heaven in death.
Jesus tried to tell us this in his own way, but we saw a miracle rather than insight when he walked the stormy seas. He was God's child. He was half water strider.
Heaven awaits, and it's the most beautiful pond in the cosmos.