Out Chapter 6
runs into the room and tumbles down the stairs before smacking head first into a wall
Hi everyone! Hey! Jesus Christ I'm going to be slowly writing this fanfic for the next 30 years of my life. Sorry for the radio silence, I started a new job (as a real counselor yay!) and it took me a bit to adjust to the new flow of my previously slacker life.
This chapter is short and rushed to help me get back into the swing of things. If it's bad, I don't wanna know. Keep that shit to yourselves. I'm putting my heart and soul into this fuckin' thing. Suffer my lazy writing in silence.
Anyway, enjoy! Read it here or on AO3
All the Things Ed Said
Friends and family come and go, but cleaning is forever.
Edd starts with the dusty living room, feeling lighter and lighter as he continues to make progress. Dusting every surface has him breathing easier, vacuuming the carpet makes him feel light on his feet, and wiping down the floorboards takes the weight of the world off his shoulders. It’s so stupid that he avoided cleaning for so long, and for what? A juvenile attempt at getting back at his parents? Works in theory, but in practice, they’re never actually here, making himself the only person Edd was torturing with his abstaining from one of his biggest coping mechanisms.
‘Maybe I always knew that. Maybe that was the point. ’
Edd shakes the thought from his head like the cobwebs he takes down by shaking his hand towel, stepping away to examine his progress. The room still needs a deep clean, as does the rest of the house, but not being able to spot any obvious filth has Edd letting out a breath he feels like he’s been holding for months.One of the handful of good things that’s come out of this bizarre day is finally getting the kick in the pants he needed to clean; having Eddy in his house while in this state was mortifying.
Speaking of Eddy.
Edd goes to check the humpback mantle clock above his fireplace, clicking his tongue in annoyance when he realizes it stopped ticking at some point. After making a mental note to fix that later, he finds his way back to his bedroom, head turning towards his digital clock as soon as he enters through the doorway.
0 days, 2 hours, and 16 minutes since he last talked to Eddy.
Goodness! He completely lost track of time, poor Eddy probably sitting in his room wondering why Edd hasn’t responded to him yet. He rushes straight for his desk, taking a seat and opening his trillian with rising anxiety, only to realize he has no new notifications.
Oh.
He deflates immediately, his panic not having lasted long enough to put down roots. Feeling silly, he reminds himself that this is no normal family conversation; who knows what sort of extended discussion Eddy is suffering through right now? Oh, if only Edd could be a fly on the wall. What are Eddy’s parents saying? What is his brother doing? Is he leering at him with his predatory glare? Making threatening hand gestures behind their parents’ backs? Using his roguish smile and charm to sink his teeth back into Eddy?
Maybe Eddy sent a message and trillian just didn’t alert him for some reason; computers can be very unpredictable at times. Edd opens up his chat room with Eddy, hoping to see a sign that he’s still alive, but instead coming face to face with the end of the second to last conversation he had with Eddy before they both cut contact.
Throat tight and mouth dry, Double D swallows down nothing as the ever present pit in his stomach starts to make him feel queasy. He had to ban himself through sheer willpower alone from opening this chatroom and going back to reread old conversations and fights, like a scab he kept picking over and over until he was left with an angry red sore that wouldn’t heal. His willpower seems to have taken a sudden vacation, however, Edd scrolling up to the beginning of the conversation like a moth to the flame.
reddyeddy: hey
Edd.Mar.Eid: Hello Eddy.
reddyeddy: how u doin
Edd.Mar.Eid: Fine.
reddyeddy: u sure
Edd.Mar.Eid: Yes.
reddyeddy: then y am i only gettin 1 word ansers
Edd.Mar.Eid: I didn’t realize there was a minimum requirement of words needed when I message you. Hopefully you don’t dock my grade.
reddyeddy: im tryin to b nice here
reddyeddy: tryin being the key word.
reddyeddy: i rlly am tryin wat more do u want from me
Edd.Mar.Eid: For you to actually be nice to me, Eddy.
reddyeddy: wat???????
reddyeddy: so makin u dinners
reddyeddy: and letting u cry on me all the time
reddyeddy: and leaving work early and losing money every time u call the candy store in a panic
reddyeddy: isnt nice enough for u???????
Edd.Mar.Eid: Yes, yes, I know, I’m a horrible burden on you and everyone around me. It’s a good thing I have you around to keep reminding me and guilt tripping me.
reddyeddy: i wasnt tryin to guilt trip u
Edd.Mar.Eid: Then what were you trying to do?
reddyeddy: defend myself!
Edd.Mar.Eid: I’m not attacking you!
reddyeddy: u said im not nice!
Edd.Mar.Eid: Because you aren’t!
reddyeddy: christ dee
reddyeddy: can u fuckin relax for once in ur life and just lissen to wat im sayin
reddyeddy: instead of jumpin 2 worst case senarios and putin words in my mouth
Edd.Mar.Eid: I’m afraid that’s impossible, Eddy. I’ve been informed that I am incapable of being anything other than a high strung, tightly puckered asshole who refuses to pinch off the stick that’s been lodged inside of me.
reddyeddy: ye and im sure u were told that out of nowhere for no good reason
Edd.Mar.Eid: Oh really? Tell me then, Eddy, what good reason exists that makes it okay to insult and degrade your partner when they’re in the middle of a panic attack?
reddyeddy: well mayb if you stopped using ur panic attacks as an excuse 2 b a bitch 2 me then i wouldnt a said that!
The words still hit Double D right where it hurts most, shackled to his rib cage along with all his other most painful memories, sometimes washing up and over his insides like heartburn. He’d like to pretend the hurt comes purely from the cruelty in Eddy’s words, but he knows that isn’t true. The guilt over now knowing that Eddy wasn’t entirely wrong pays a large contribution to the ache in his chest—a guilt that worsens when he reads the next message, which was sent several hours after the previous one.
reddyeddy: im srry i didnt mean that
Edd.Mar.Eid: Then why did you type it?
reddyeddy: cuz i feel like im goin crazy
Edd.Mar.Eid: Don’t use that word. You know I hate that word.
reddyeddy: i no srry
reddyeddy: ugh
reddyeddy: i dont wanna fight again
Edd.Mar.Eid: I don’t either.
reddyeddy: then we wont
reddyeddy: lemme come over tmrrw and we can talk it out in person
Edd.Mar.Eid: That’s probably for the best. We always seem to fall into the same miscommunication traps when we try to discuss our arguments online.
Edd.Mar.Eid: Are you sure you actually want to come over?
reddyeddy: ofc i do
Edd.Mar.Eid: It won’t be a burden? I know you’re tired after work.
reddyeddy: ur not a burden
Edd.Mar.Eid: I feel like I am. I feel like you’re right. I’m an awful person, aren’t I?
reddyeddy: quit talkin like that
reddyeddy: i was just bein an ass as usual
reddyeddy: how about i come over now
reddyeddy: ill make that veggie soup u like
Edd.Mar.Eid: I don’t deserve that. Or you. You should just break up with me already.
reddyeddy: no
reddyeddy: look u didnt do nething wrong its all my fault ok
reddyeddy: noones breakin up with ne1
reddyeddy: im gonna log off and come over ok?
reddyeddy: ok?
Edd.Mar.Eid: Okay.
reddyeddy: ill b rite there
Edd.Mar.Eid: Okay. Thank you, Eddy.
As soon as he finishes reading the last message, his computer trills, making him jump and choke on air as the entire conversation shifts upwards to make room for brand new communication. Edd dedicates himself to ignoring how badly his head is spinning as he puts finger tips to keys.
reddyeddy: hey
Edd.Mar.Eid: A fine evening to you, chum. I hope you are well. Tell me, pal, how are you this summer’s night?
reddyeddy: lol wtf
reddyeddy: im grate how is the evening finding u deerest buddy
Edd.Mar.Eid: Sorry. I'm a touch nervous.
reddyeddy: me 2 a lil
reddyeddy: dont scroll up
Edd.Mar.Eid: I already made that mistake, unfortunately.
reddyeddy: yeah yeesh
reddyeddy: ne way i survived
reddyeddy: hurray
Edd.Mar.Eid: I’m glad to hear it. I imagine the discussion was an awkward affair.
reddyeddy: under statement of the 21st century
reddyeddy: hes staying
Edd.Mar.Eid: Oh Lord.
reddyeddy: dont bother asking that guy for help i already tried
Edd.Mar.Eid: How could your parents allow this?
reddyeddy: motherly guilt is my best guess
Edd.Mar.Eid: Guilty of what? It’s not your mother’s fault your brother is a brutal barbarian.
reddyeddy: its more complicated than that
reddyeddy: alot of shit about my family is
Edd.Mar.Eid: Sigh. What family isn’t complicated, I suppose.
Edd.Mar.Eid: Why did he return to Peach Creek, anyway?
reddyeddy: canned and broke
Edd.Mar.Eid: And now you are being made to pay for his poor choices. Is there no justice in this world?
reddyeddy: did u ever think there was
Edd.Mar.Eid: I naively hoped.
reddyeddy: thats your whole shtick I guess
Edd.Mar.Eid: Unfortunately.
reddyeddy: we had a weird talk
Edd.Mar.Eid: Is it possible to have a normal talk with that fiend?
reddyeddy: lol
Edd.Mar.Eid: Tell me what happened.
reddyeddy: ok so we went to the store cuz ma needed cream and smokes
reddyeddy: and then he got some beer 2
Edd.Mar.Eid: Oh goodness, Eddy, please tell me you didn’t drink and drive.
reddyeddy: y u always gotta assume the worst of me???
Edd.Mar.Eid: Worrying is also my “schtick.”
reddyeddy: well u can relax cuz i only had 1 beer at the high school and then went strate home
Edd.Mar.Eid: Peach Creek High? What on earth for?
reddyeddy: 1 of his dumb secret hang out spots is on the roof
reddyeddy: guy scaled the wall like fuckin spider man
reddyeddy: complicated and mysterius for no good goddamn reason
reddyeddy: ne way thats not the point
reddyeddy: the point is the talking that happened
reddyeddy: guy spilled his guts out to me???
reddyeddy: aparently he got kicked out of home cuz he got some girl pregnent then told her to get an abortion
Edd.Mar.Eid: Well that’s certainly unexpected.
reddyeddy: it gets weirder
reddyeddy: he was all girls are nothing but trouble dont let those leeches get u be smarter then me
reddyeddy: like he was looking out for me or sumthin
reddyeddy: and before that he was being all smiley at me and calling me big man cuz I have a big wallet
reddyeddy: told me I grew up right
reddyeddy: dee
reddyeddy: he was being NICE 2 me
reddyeddy: chuck! nice!
Edd.Mar.Eid: That is concerning. Normally I would have said that sarcastically, but from your brother, it truly is a concern.
reddyeddy: i no rite
reddyeddy: he sounded like he likes me or sumthin
reddyeddy: like im an adult he can have a real conversation w/
reddyeddy: what gives
Edd.Mar.Eid: Did he apologize?
reddyeddy: for knocking up that chik?
Edd.Mar.Eid: No, Eddy, for his past actions. For everything he did to you.
reddyeddy: oh
reddyeddy: no
Edd.Mar.Eid: Then he’s not truly being all that nice.
reddyeddy: he doesnt get it dee
reddyeddy: its like rolfs fishballs
Edd.Mar.Eid: Pardon?
reddyeddy: u remember
reddyeddy: when i threw rolfs fish ball and didnt get why every1 was so upset
Edd.Mar.Eid: Oh, right, I do recall that incident.
reddyeddy: i think its like that
reddyeddy: he doesnt even no he did ne thing wrong
reddyeddy: wich pissed me the fuck off at first
reddyeddy: but now im like
reddyeddy: i dunno
reddyeddy: it feels dumb to be mad at him for not being sorry when i wasnt sorry to rolf
Edd.Mar.Eid: Eddy, when you lacked the emotional maturity to be empathetic towards Rolf and sorry for your cultural misstep, you were a 12 year old child who threw an item of food. Your brother is an adult man who spent years physically, mentally, and emotionally tormenting you, then after six years of separation, assaulted you in front of every child from the cul-de-sac.
reddyeddy: yeah i guess
Edd.Mar.Eid: You don’t guess, you know. You more than anyone are intimately aware of what a cruel and selfish narcissist your brother is. He’s an antisocial bully who derives amusement from walloping children. If this were a fair and just world, your brother would be locked up and away for the protection of others.
reddyeddy: jeez ok i get it
reddyeddy: this is weird
reddyeddy: usually u try to calm me down
reddyeddy: now its like u want me to be mad
Edd.Mar.Eid: I want you to keep yourself safe. Your brother is not to be trusted, Eddy.
reddyeddy: no shit im not stupid
reddyeddy: not gonna go back to hero worship after 1 talk
reddyeddy: i no hes still an ass
reddyeddy: hes a piece of shit failure child beater not a cool big bro
Edd.Mar.Eid: Especially if he isn’t going to apologize for how he treated you. Don’t give him an inch until he utters a sincere sorry. How long do you think he’ll be staying?
reddyeddy: either until he gets back on his feet or until my dad gets sick enough of him to kick him back out
reddyeddy: who nos what will happen first
Edd.Mar.Eid: Whichever it is, let’s hope it happens soon. What is the plan until then?
reddyeddy: man i havent had any sort of plan for ne thing in forever
reddyeddy: i think im in the clear tho
reddyeddy: he cant do shit to me w/o getting his ass booted onto the street
Edd.Mar.Eid: Still, I imagine sharing a living space with him will be emotionally and mentally taxing. I want to offer my family’s abode to you as a place of refuge whenever you are in need.
Edd.Mar.Eid: Or even if you just want to hang out.
Edd.Mar.Eid: For fun.
reddyeddy: yeah sure
reddyeddy: that could be fun
Edd.Mar.Eid: Please let me know of any other ways I can be of assistance. You don’t have to deal with him alone this time.
reddyeddy: yeah i no thx dee
reddyeddy: mayb ill come over tmrrw
Edd.Mar.Eid: I would like that.
Edd.Mar.Eid: Actually, no, let’s convene elsewhere. The playground, perhaps? At our usual time.
reddyeddy: sounds good
reddyeddy: booze? smoke?
Edd.Mar.Eid: Feel free to indulge, but I will not partake.
reddyeddy: i could buy gummies from kev
Edd.Mar.Eid: Then perhaps.
reddyeddy: ey look at this party animal
Edd.Mar.Eid: Har har.
reddyeddy: im bringing pizza 2
reddyeddy: half meat lovers half vegetarian
Edd.Mar.Eid: There’s no need for that, I still have your leftovers to eat.
reddyeddy: whatev more za for me
reddyeddy: ill still get half veg tho those gummies give u the munchies
Edd.Mar.Eid: Sounds like a plan, Eddy.
reddyeddy: first gud 1 in a while
reddyeddy: cya
Edd.Mar.Eid: Good night, Eddy. Sleep well.










