Characters: Captain Puffy, Tommyinnit Word count: 1510 words Content: death, ghost!Tommy, mentions of abuse, closure, peace
---
As she wanders the ruins of L’Manburg, Puffy stops at every landmark. Even now, there’s wood smoldering, as if unwilling to put out the flames of destruction Dream had caused. She knows now it was Dream, she can understand more what he’d done behind the scenes when no one else was paying attention.
She’s not sure why she’s here or what she’s looking for. There’s nothing here but a few broken chests with cracked and splintered remains of what Tommy used to own. Puffy could try to salvage anything that’s left, but that would also go against the whole purpose of turning this place into a monument.
She leans against the large tower not too far away. This must be the one Tommy jumped off of before running to Techno’s. It’s easy enough to guess that’s what happened, what with Tubbo rushing back in tears to announce Tommy’s death, before sweeping everything under the rug. God, she can’t imagine how he’s feeling now.
Tears spring to her eyes as he pulls away from the tower. It’s pointless to dwell on everything negative here, it’s pointless to even be here. Puffy knows she’s only here to assuage her own guilt over letting Tommy remain in exile, even though she’d tried her best to help him cope.
“I wouldn’t feel too guilty if I were you.”
Puffy almost wants to chalk that up to a hallucination. She wants to pinch herself and tell herself this is a dream, but when she turns toward the water, the ghostly form of Tommy is sitting there, letting his bare feet dangle.
He looks like he did before exile: a healthy teenager with no wear and tear. He’s sitting, with one leg drawn up to his chest and resting his arms on that knee. In his hands is some of Wilbur’s blue, and Tommy’s got a grin on his face.
Most notable is the lack of grey pigment in his skin. He’s very clearly a ghost, but he doesn’t actually look like one.
“Tommy?” Puffy feels like the air had been knocked out of her. “You’re... you’re here?”
“Yeah, isn’t it weird?” He laughs as he tosses blue at her feet. His eyes are shining a bright blue, brighter than they had been in life. “One minute I’m screaming for Sam to let me out, and the next minute I’m sat here, contemplating everything. I’ve come to the conclusion that it sucks.”
Puffy remains silent as she bends down at the knee, gently grabbing at the blue. Trembling fingers grasp at it as she straightens back up, staring at the small object. The silence drags on for too long, so she opts to sit down next to him.
“Tommy-”
“You know, I never understood why Ghostbur kept throwing blue at everyone,” Tommy interrupts. “I thought it was just something he did, y’know? He was weird like that, but I was just so happy to have him around that I accepted it as one of his many annoying quirks. But now I think I understand more. It’s easy to let things go if you don’t have to think about them. I can just take this shit, fill it with my own shit and trauma and whatever, toss it out and move on. It’s like it’s physically gone.”
“You remember?” Puffy watches him through her peripheral vision. He’s manifesting more...whatever it is, watching as it turns to blue. He hands her another one. “Wilbur didn’t remember.”
“I wanted to remember. I wouldn’t be as awesome if I was some fake happy version of myself, would I?”
She has to admit that he’s right.
“Look, I see it all over your face Puffy. I just wanted to tell you to stop feeling guilty, alright? You didn’t do it. You couldn’t have prevented it.”
Tears fill her vision. “It was my job to protect you. You were a child, Tommy. I should have done more for you.”
“I wouldn’t have let you in, you know. You or Sam or anyone who wanted to help. I was responsible for me, I didn’t want anyone’s pity.” He tosses a blue into the water. Puffy watches it slip below the surface. “It’s why Sam Nook was created. If Sam had tried to help directly I would have pushed him away. You don’t have to feel so guilty.”
“But we do, Tommy. We do feel guilty, we do feel responsible. You might feel like it was just you against the world, but we did care.”
“I know. I’m glad you cared; that was more than enough for me. Sometimes that’s all I want from anyone, is just to know.” He offers her a more gentle grin. It’s so Tommy, but it’s also something far wiser than he should have to be. As if he knows what’s waiting for him on the other side.
“Are you going to be around, like Ghostbur?”
“Nah. I’m not giving that green bastard a chance to toy with me. You know he’s going to, so I’m going to take my L and move on with Wilbur. He’s waiting for me, you know.”
Fresh tears spring to her eyes. The idea that Tommy doesn’t want to stick around feels hollow, but she can understand his logic there, too. “So we’ll never see you again?”
“Puffy.” Tommy sighs as he presses a hand to her shoulder. He uses her as stability while getting to his feet. “Sometimes people don’t come back after death, y’know. Schlatt and Wilbur did, but sometimes they just don’t. I don’t have any unfinished business. Mine was bringing Wilbur back, but since I’m not around anymore, there’s really no point to it, is there?”
“Yeah, but your friends-”
“-don’t need me as much as they think they do.” There’s another one of his bright smiles. “This isn’t a sad ending, Pussy. What was it you were saying yesterday? This is a new age, isn’t it? You and Sam, you two are going to lead them somewhere new. Build a statue in my honor, alright? Make it the coolest statue ever. Bigger than anyone else, so the world will know how big of a man I am.”
Puffy laughs. Not just at his words, but his purposeful use of the name ‘Pussy’. Even now, he’s resorting to being obnoxious and crude, and she knows she’s going to miss it. “Tommy, you were the best of all of us.”
“Nah.” He snorts and shakes his head. “Do me one last favor, will you?”
“If it’s to beat up Dream, I’ll gladly take that on.”
“Okay, well two favors then.” Tommy’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “Give some blue to Tubbo, will you?” He offers her a few pieces, which she takes carefully, treating them like something extremely fragile, which they are.
“Any message you want me to pass to him?”
“Yeah: ‘it’ll be okay’.”
“That’s it?” Puffy lifts an eyebrow. “No ‘I love you’, no ‘you’ll carry on my legacy’, anything like that?”
“Puffy, Tubbo doesn’t need messages like that. He’s not that deep.” Tommy rolls his eyes. “No, just that it’ll be okay. He’ll be okay without me, he’ll be okay being Tubbo. He’s got Snowchester and shit, he’ll be okay.”
Puffy nods. “I’ll give him the blue and the message then, Tommy. Are you off?”
“Yeah. I can already hear Wilbur screaming at me and calling me a child. I’ve got to go punch his stupid face in, because I’m a big man and I can take him, even dead.”
Puffy laughs at that. Even with tears streaming down her cheeks, she feels a new sort of joy. “Tommy, can I hug you goodbye?”
No words are exchanged here, Tommy silently complies. He feels warm, so she wraps her arms firmly around him, holding him close. The hug is doing wonders; it’s like every inch of sadness is being pulled out of her, like he’s trying his best to help. When he finally pulls away, Puffy still feels light.
“It’ll be okay, Puffy,” Tommy says. He drops more blue at her feet. “Don’t let shit get you down too much, alright? You’re Captain Puffy, and you know better than anyone what needs to be done. But also don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.”
With that, he’s gone. Disappeared into some beyond, or afterlife, or wherever he’s going. Puffy doesn’t necessarily know where that might be, but knowing he’s with Wilbur in the end has her feeling better.
Bending down, she picks up the last of the blue. She wonders if when they all die, they’ll end up with blue, but that’s a fleeting thought as she puts it all in her backpack.
He’s right, it is a new age. She’s not going to let him down by wallowing in misery, not when she has a whole server to clean up. Marching toward the portal, Puffy wears a smile on her face. She’s got a new pep in her step, and she’s not going to let anyone take that away from her.
Not this time.
