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He should have asked for him to be there, sitting next to him-

But he hadn’t, he would rather face his Amica-

Ex-Amica along at the moment than cause more of a scene than there already would be. He was still mad at Alchy for hiding this from him, hiding Skyfall from him. He believed her when she said he didn’t tell him anything, that Skyfall still didn’t even know he was alive…

Until a week ago, he had told her to give him the basics and a location. Neautral bar, heavy with reinforcments and not all that interested in decepticons. Gives him enough space and privacy to have this.. Very uncomfortable conversation.

Golden optics watched from under his visor, field even tighter against his frame than normal and twisted with fear and apprehension. Mask hid his face and he forced his vents to stay slow and even, leaning back calmly and watching the door.

Feeling his spark twist as he watches the bright blue seeker walk in. So many things passed through him in those few moments it took Skyfall to notice him. Fear, anger, pain, hurt…

Betrayal.

He swallowed again, watching the mech saunter ( saunter the mother fragger had the gaul to saunter) over to him. That smile was the same, bright and taking up his whole face. Wings angling up, flapping and twitching and broadcasting what he was feeling. Excitement, eagerness, nervousness, hope-

He watched the mech sit down, settling to give him a nervous grin. One set of Ghosts long claws were curled around a cube, the other set carefully holding onto his gun. In this, a quick shot was better than a quick swipe.

“Star-” Skyfall sounded breathless, eager-

“It’s Ghostspire.” He was quick to snap, voice rougher than last time they had spoken. When he tore of his wings and left him screaming and crying on an operating table. Claw curled more tightly around his cube, and Skyfall nodded.

“Right, yeah, sorry…” Wings twitched up then down, trembling before angling back up. “Uhm, Alchy… Alchy said to meet you here if i wanted to talk. To uhm.. To see you again.” A blue servo reached out to touch his, and he jerked his servo back, tensing.

“And you came.” He barely kept the trembling fear out of his voice, watching him carefully and struggling to keep his vents even.Claws twitching, trying to keep calm as Skyfall had the gaul to sit there and smile at him.

“I did, i.. I had to make sure my Amica was still… Your alive, I can’t… They told me you deactivated.” He sounded breathless, leaning forward as red visor glowed brightly and wings canted forward. Ghost felt like he was going to be sick, glaring at him. He really thought they were still…? After everything?

“I-I mean, after… After Dawn and Little Sunny, I.. I thought I lost everyone. I mean, Cre kicked me out, sent me to Koan under the guise of ‘negotiating with the nobles’ for more supplies and stuff but we both know that was as good as banishment and-”

“..What do you want?” he said softly, turning and staring down at his drink, struggling to keep his vents even. Skyfall looked surprised, almost.. Hurt at his voice before shaking it off and smiling at him. Trying to hide the confusion.

“I-I want us to be brothers again! Amicas! Like.. like old times! Well, it’ll never be like old times but well have eachother again!” He sounded so.. Excited, egear… expectant. He wanted to punch the mech, tear into his plating and tear off his wings-

“....After everything? The argument, the… Skyfall, they butchered Dawnstar. Two shots, one through her helm and the other her spark. They made Sunray run to her graying form and shot him.” His voie cracked and rasped, shuddering a moment before pushing it down.

“I-I know, I haven’t forgotten, I just… Why don’t we go to my ship? Its biger i-it has more privacy and-” Ghost couldn’t listen to this. He comes by, expecting him to… what? Turn around and accept him?

“We aren’t Amicas anymore.” He vented softly, and tensed when his arm was grabbed. His whole frame shuddered, and he was trying not to scream or purge his tanks at his touch.

“W-Wait! W-Wait Star- Ghost, wait let me.. I brought some stuff for you.” Skyfall stammered, tugging slightly before pulling two box’s out of his subspace. One smaller, and the other long and rectangle.

“Uhm.. th-they’re yours. For you to keep.” They were pushed into his arms, Skyfalls smile nervous and wide. “C-Com me? Please? Just.. just to let me know you opened them.”

“..Maybe.” And Ghost was almost running out of the bar, the phantom touch of Skyfall on his arm and hiding himself in his ship. The door slammed behind him and the box’s all but thrown onto the main table as he turned and-

Collapsed, frame forcing itself to shut down with how fast his spark was going. Resetting was.. Slow and painful, and he groaned softly, slowly rolling onto his side as memory files started to line up and sort themselves. Slow and carefully rolling onto his side and just…

He stared at the wall, not sure how to..

He should have killed Skyfall, the mech was right there he had a gun- Why the frag couldn’t he just… do it?

#tw panic attack #tw gore mention #ghost is...#not having a great time #:3