because i love a silly headcanon with zero weight whatsoever: sam dickinson having shit eyesight!!
sure, he wears contacts when he plays (unlike a certain blond man on his team who's always squinting at signs that are 3 feet from him) because it's important he sees what's happening. but it's not actually that bad that he needs them the rest of the time, he can drive and navigate life just fine, guys!!! nevermind that he has no idea what anything costs because he can't read shit at the grocery store (one time he buys mis the Wrong Flavor of chips because the bags are the same color and they have a small argument about it because it's one of misa's safe foods, toff is secretly delighted because maybe this is what finally makes mis see sam isn't good enough for his billet son).
at restaurants he pretends to read the menu and then asks misa what he wants to eat because he knows he's indecisive and will recite the entire menu back to him, then he chooses for the two of them. it being the reason why he's a lot more into audio media than movies, shows, videogames or books (though, he'll do an audiobook from time to time). sometimes mis will show him a meme and he just fake laughs (bad behavior) cause he couldn't read shit but can't admit it to misa because they've discussed sam not wearing his glasses a million times
he doesn't like wearing contacts for long periods of times because they're uncomfortable, that one's true. but the real reason he doesn't like wearing his prescription glasses is because he looks like a fucking nerd in them and it would mess up with the charismatic asshole media darling image he's carefully curated
bonus: because of his blue eyes he's really sensitive to light, he's an all apps on dark mode and automatic brightness turned off kind of guy. on the other hand mis is a full brightness in pitch black darkness and light mode truther. but at the end of the day they're both equally annoying because they both watch tiktok/reels at full volume without headphones and that is unforgivable
misa could not be less understanding about it. he complains nonstop for dickie to just wear his glasses and then laughs at him when he does, because sam does in fact look like a dork with them on, a dork misa still thinks is hot, but a dork nonetheless. sam will put them on rare occasions, mostly to watch TV because otherwise he’ll get a headache and misa will be entirely unsympathetic and complain more.
sam has tried to get a different pair that would make him look less lame but it just doesn’t work, and they’re annoying anyways. the contacts aren’t any better either, he can feel them in his eyes and if he’s not on the ice, it’s too much of a distraction to keep them in too long. his eyesight isn’t even that bad, he’s totally adjusted to living like this, who needs to know street names! he’s pretty sure no one else can even read the sharks calendar up in the lounge. at least with his phone he can bring that as close to his face as he needs.
every one and awhile, misa does get genuinely pissy with sam about his vision. it’s like he suddenly remembers that sam can’t see great (he sees fine) and chooses to be a bitch about it. they’ll be in the locker room after a game, sam’s already taken his contacts out and he’s ready to drive them home, then— i’m gonna get a ride from toff. sam drives him around all the goddamn time and now misa doesn’t trust him? and of course toff is standing there all smug and even worse, he offers sam a ride, which he absolutely turns down. assholes, both of them.
the phone brightness gap in their relationship is a real thing. misa will be flashbanging him and sam with his phone on full bright at 2AM, lighting up the whole room, and then he’ll have the nerve to say you can’t even see anything on sam’s phone. light mode v dark mode and they’re both losing because they’re blasting reels at full volume next to each other