your #1 guy

shameful secret rpf sideblog

[castratecapuchin]

she/her

18+ for the occasional nsfw post. i’m a prude at heart but sometimes i get brave

the castratecapuchin agenda:

samisa & willmack

toff and sam dynamic that is like a trying to be cool abt it father & his teenage son’s boyfriend he only kind of fucks with

beta will smith hockey

big spoon macklin celebrini

zero brain to mouth filter michael misa

the castratecapuchin required readings:

Sam Dickinson, Known Nice Guy

[orbiter677]

[castratecapuchin]

if this exposes my tiktok acc pls don’t post, but omg! sam’s rpf characterization? i don’t know her, he’s actually just Like That

https://www.tiktok.com/@mightysharks6/video/7647219919452392736

i don’t think this shows your tiktok unless you were the one who uploaded it, lemme know tho and i will take it down!!

godddd i hate this guy (said through biggest smile alive)

he’s such a lovable funny idiot. i really love characterizing him as running one man show level bits for misa’s benefit only. he’s like a jester who is also a knight and also a frat boy loser idiot

[castratecapuchin]

more of #mytruth bc how could i ever forget about the willmack of it all

my notes on these important matters:

didn’t mean to use the trans pride colors but happy accidents are all around us lmao

the evil bisexual will smith hockey agenda is very fun but i am even a bigger fan of gay will smith hockey with comphet for flavoring. no, it’s not important that every time he has sex with a woman it’s been sad and unfulfilling. makes me want to put him in uncomfortable and unsafe situations to try and be with men on the down low that only make him feel both disgusted and free. mack is bisexual and it only makes his life harder

perhaps influenced by the above, will is not that horny of a guy, kind of below average libido. this does not stop him and mack from fucking like rabbits. mack is a horny pent up young hockey player who is really embarrassingly into will. and will smith hockey service kink is real, he wants mack to be happy and the fact will can help him with it, in any way, does something for him

love to see jealous possessive mack!! is it healthy? no. do either of them care? also no. mack can’t even laugh off old women at bakeries flirting with will. he tries very hard to be normal about how will has a million friends and people always want his attention, he fails miserably every time. will, on the other hand, likes that mack is insane and tends to keep himself in check when it comes to mack and other people

i am VERY passionate about my big spoon macklin celebrini propaganda so i hope this does not come as a surprise. he used to sleep holding a stuffed animal, then a pillow, and now it’s will smith hockey. will likes it both ways but it’s really reassuring for his sleep anxiety that mack is fused with his back, even if he is very sweaty

mack loves to steal will’s clothes even if he is stretching them out a little (the idea that wsh’s clothes would be oversized on him is actual propaganda but i get it, do what you must wm fans). will would borrow from mack more but he’s particularly abt what he wears i think (re: the one ribbed shirt he is always wearing)

willmack petnames my beloved

will who would rather fall into his pathological liar ways instead of be honest and vulnerable about his desires falls straight into the affection through actions dynamic. more so, he thrives on being able to take care of the people he loves and holds close. mack can blurt out a very sincere compliment every once and awhile but he would rather will just be able to read his mind

again, will would rather eat his own foot than admit he wants something, no way is he confessing first. mack is an overthinker and wouldn’t want to but he could do it, i think

and mack could squash a bug but he would absolutely scream first. that’s all i hate to say

in my heart of hearts i want to say that will’s baking skills can translate into cooking. i am not one hundred percent sure that’s true but it’s what it sticking with. mack can’t cook anymore than a typical 19 year old boy king can, this does not stop him from being suspicious every time will gets in the kitchen though. he will eat and like everything will puts in front of him but it doesn’t stop him from saying, you can’t really cook, though

really funny to think that mack is actually the one with relationship experience and will just sort of wings it vaguely successfully -> this wil be getting its own more serious post with wsh’s comphet and catholic guilt like disgust and shame when it comes to sex

[castratecapuchin]

https://www.tumblr.com/castratecapuchin/818412833463287808/mytruth-and-for-the-fun-of-it-notes-bc-i-cant

i loved reading this!! do you per chance have done one for wm?

i do not and i am remedying this IMMEDIATELY

[castratecapuchin]

I've never seen a post I resonate with more. I love your #fakedatingau post about Samisa. I am IN LOVE with the dynamic of father-figure in HATRED of his boys lover. Because WHY IS HE DOING THAT.

My favorite HRPF fics of all time are the ones where Mario is like GET THAT HUGE RUSSIAN BOY OUT OF MY HOUSE. Because he is corrupting poor sid.

So I Just Think. This is a Neat Dynamic. Especially for the baby sharks. Especially for Sam who is TRYING his HARDEST to get under Toffs skin. Yes I am shacking up with your boy when you are gone so what. Every time you go on a date night with your lovely wife there will be a little voice in the back of your head telling you that I'm corrupting your (billet) son. You cannot escape me. Curfew? Since when? We're at home? Me and Misa are simply going to play video games all night. Yes. Video Games. Don't mind any screaming you hear.

Misa looking so pleased and comfy under Sams arm IM DEAD. Sam is corrupting poor Misa — he's giving him feelings. Making him feel loved. Sam is like oh yes this is the best bit we've ever done, best prank we've ever executed but no one is watching you when you're home alone bud. You don't have to cuddle then. You don't have to knock on Misas hotel room when its passed curfew to sneak in and watch movies together. Toff believes it enough without you leaving your hoodies in Misas room. Oh look Misas wearing them, what a good commitment to the bit and nothing else.

I do think it would be great if Toff kicked him out and he snuck right back in, but Misa would be mortified — which is even better. He's like you're gonna get us in trouble! Stop! But Sam climbs through the window anyways and is like no its chill he won't come in here. We need to finish that movie.

But SIMILARLY, Sam getting so profoundly jealous of Misa giving this random dude his full attention. Some guy from the opposing team maybe. They're talking about sticks or something idk, and its been like 20 mins and sam has just been skating around, waiting. He reasons he's worried because Toff is here, and this could ruin the whole bit. That must be it. He's not actually jealous of Mis' attention or anything. Certainly not.

honestly the fake dating au might be some of my best work yet, the whole concept of it is fascinating to me!!! your ask is already giving me a thousand more ideas to add to it (i AM writing it for real, she will be beautiful and probably quite long)

my ABSOLUTE favorite part of it is how much i get to write sam knowingly fucking with toff and misa unknowingly feeding right into it. toff is trying not to tear his hair out bc surely they aren’t actually dating, sam is doing this to get under his skin. the fact misa’s door is always closed when sam’s over now, and that they take pregame naps together on the couch, and that sam calls misa a thousand different pet names, and that… it’s a little too real. toff slowly comes to the conclusion that they are dating, and now he has to be cool and normal about it so he doesn’t scare his (billet) son but also it’s sam fucking dickinson who he’s shacking up with

misa is actually very pink and awkward about anything too pda or raunchy in front of toff which sam thinks is funny but also sort of defeats the purpose of fucking with toff. misa is jumping ten feet in the air and saying, we’re not doing anything!!! when toff comes home to them sitting on the couch

[castratecapuchin]

rewatching the never offside pod and sam going "sorry, i cut you off there, go ahead" and patting misa's back after he interrupted his answer when he realised he may have misinterpreted the question back when he answered !! like so many people aren't aware when they cut people off? but to him it is important to Let Misa Speak. Misa being such a quiet guy I can see at team dinners or in the locker room him finally opening his mouth to say something only to get interrupted by someone louder (sorry but I can definitely see mack accidentally yapping over what misa's trying to say). do you think sam would say something for misa then, telling mack to shut up a second and let misa finish?

i don’t know if i actually noted this in my official pod notes but this moment is actually burned into my memory. stopping yourself from talking over someone should be such a mundane boring thing but yet it’s one of the greatest examples of caring about someone more than yourself. it’s one thing if you’re doing it to be polite in a social context but differently entirely when you stop yourself from doing it with the guy you’re with 24/7

misa is such a quiet guy (ex. sharks promo vids, mic’d on picture day, as described by literally anyone ever), but he can talk, and when he does it isn’t like he rambles, but he does have things to say!! i really love that sam is so painstakingly aware of this, trying to drag him into conversations (ex. that one moment in the picture day video), trying to get him to speak up, trying to be aware of him at all times so he doesn’t miss a rare michael misa says words event. sam doesn’t think misa’s boring, in fact, he thinks he is so very interesting, hangs onto every word misa says even if they’re few and far between

getting lost in the sound of the locker room or in a group of noisy hockey players is probably not uncommon for anyone but sam takes it very seriously when it happens to misa. misa will get half a sentence out and then someone like mack will start talking right over him, and sam gets irritated immediately. it doesn’t matter if misa was going to say something as boring as, practice was good, he wants to know. sam is unafraid to shove mack away with a, dude, misa’s talking! and if he can’t do that then he’ll just turn to misa going, what was that? and if he can’t do THAT then he’ll remember it by the time they go off alone, on the bus to the hotel, on the car ride to the toffoli’s, and ask, what were you saying about practice earlier?

sam is happy to let misa blend into the background of things when he wants to but the idea that it’s happening against misa’s will sits very uncomfortably in his gut. sam would rather interrupt his own conversations with people to go find where misa’s hiding and make sure he’s chilling about it, instead of letting things be

[castratecapuchin]

love the contrast of willmack and samisa because with willmack its a whole tragedy with longing, jealousy and ofc catholic guilt (on wills part) and the two of them tip toe around their feelings for each other until they just can't ignore them vs samisa tripping and falling ass backwards into a relationship

willmack will always have tragic over and undertones no matter what au or situation you put them in, it’s built in angst!!!! it’s all longing, and miscommunication, and oh god i’m in love with him, i think i have to kill myself now.

but samisa are so goofy lighthearted!!!! it’s beautiful bc their relationship, despite knowing each other since they were kids, and being rivals for much longer than willmack were, is quite simplistic. they just like each other, it doesn’t matter what barely there narratives are supposed to be acting against them

idiots who like each other too much and being together would be a betrayal of themselves/their family/their faith/their career but being not together is a life ruining wrong vs idiots who can’t fuck it up bc they’ve domesticated frat life together

[brinimacks]

imagine you’re macklin celebrini you come home from losing at the olympics to find out your boyfriend signed you up for an elevated cupcake experience then a couple months later you come home from losing at worlds to find out he adopted a dog called macklin celewienie

[ae-lena]

thinking about alpha sam slowly realizing he's basically courting beta misa while misa has absolutely convinced himself that alphas and omegas are biologically better for each other and betas are meant for other betas because he grew up surrounded by beta couples. his parents, grandparents and now even his billet family are all betas. he genuinely believes betas are too chill for alphas and omegas.

meanwhile sam is scenting misa before games, sleeping in his bed after bad dates, burying his face in his neck whenever he’s stressed, getting irrationally possessive whenever misa asks other people for help and getting mad every time misa casually suggests another omega instead of himself.

and misa genuinely thinks sam only comes to him because there aren't any omegas around.

so he just keeps going, ''wouldn't an omega be better for this?'' while baring his neck for sam.

sam spends months thinking he's just being weirdly territorial and aggressive until one night he realizes his alpha fully sees misa as a potential mate. suddenly everything makes sense. why he gets angry when misa doesn't come to him first. why misa barely eating at the restaurant sam picked genuinely upset him. because his alpha thinks he failed to provide for him properly.

[castratecapuchin]

jumping off of you michael "incredibly sincere" misa notes, do you think he would be an easy person to embarrass?? i can see him being embarrassed by himself like if he speaks before thinking and throws off The Vibe™️ but I personally dont see him as someone who would get embarrassed by much else, maybe with people chriping him for things he's said (like compliments that are wayy too genuine if you know what i mean) but I can't see him being embarrassed about what he likes (the leather jacket...also the bucket hats) or who he is as a person or even silly things like responding to cat calling stella baby

sidenote: i find it so funny that sams dislike of the leather jacket is simply because he doesn't think michael is a leather jacket guy. and I kinda agree he seems more like a denim jacket guy

GREAT question!!!!!

i go back and forth on misa’s level of embarrassment honestly. i think part of his sincereness is that even when he’s saying something a step too genuine, he really truly means it and he’s not going to just take it back. if anything, he gets more confused when people get awkward or laugh, bc he’s just being honest! although if done in a large enough setting, or if he has too many eyes on him, he might shy away, get a little pink, but otherwise he doesn’t really care.

it’s the social context of it all that makes him embarrassed. if it’s two or three people, his friends, or whatever, misa doesn’t care what he says or if he’s being strange. but i do think he’s the type of person that’s slinking down in their seat at the bar bc everyone’s being too loud and now people are looking.

misa (to me), is pretty self assured, so things like being chirped for his clothes, or the hi baby incident, doesn’t really affect him. it really is as simple as he likes what he likes, and if other people don’t then that’s okay. so i think he’s more likely to get confused, or just awkward pity laugh, instead of being embarrassed, when it comes to people chirping him for being too genuine/fucking up the vibe

[gummywilliam]

fangs

[castratecapuchin]

my favorite michael misa character notes i have are: most oblivious guy ever, cannot chirp to save his life, too sincere (an all timer for me), likes being pushed around, but most importantly of all i think, he is strangely well adjusted.

it’s not that he doesn’t care about things, although he is a real idgaf-er, it’s that he likes what he likes, is going to do what he’s going to do, and it’s just that easy. even in the face of being made fun of for his draft jacket, he can laugh it off. it’s not a big deal! or when sam tells him that goody was actually making fun of his leather jacket, not complimenting it, misa is undeterred. he likes it so that’s enough! misa seems to be strangely good at just blocking out unimportant criticism, probably helped by his inability to understand when ppl are chirping him but whatever works i guess

even when the tables are flipped, and misa does not pay enough attention to the vibes to figure out that it’s probably not a good idea to bring up sam crying over the mem cup, he gets defensive about his fuck up but in a soft spoken way. he can still articulate why he said it and how he didn’t mean it as an insult, unworried about being in the wrong or that sam might be mad at him. this being said i can imagine being too sincere can also have a please stop airing my dirty laundry, i don’t care that you don’t find it embarrassing, i do effect for everyone around him

honestly this whole well adjusted thing he has going on, even if it doesn’t carry over to social settings, is why i like giving misa family problems or horrifying past experiences in fics. he can come from a family where his parents argued non stop, or have had people be genuinely awful to him, and still come out perfectly himself. the idea that there are things so life ruining and painful that he can walk through untouched bc he genuinely believes that there is nothing else to do but continue. he’s just the kind of guy who takes everything at face value, if you tell him something is one way then he’ll believe you. he can adjust, things change, and misa is still misa. there is no other way to be so why would he try to find one?

what i think it really boils down to is that misa is actually very sure of himself, it’s other people that he can’t figure out. he can be an overthinker and an underthinker. it’s hard to parse what people mean sometimes, if they’re being genuine or not, if misa is supposed to be genuine back. sometimes he sits there and goes what do i say, what do i say, what do i say, and other times, he doesn’t even think to question someone else’s words. he wants to be a trusting guy, is a trusting guy, but misa is also aware that’s not the way the world works. yet knowing that doesn’t mean he knows when to put his faith into someone or not.

when it comes to things that effect misa (ex. a heartbreaking past), he doesn’t have a problem moving straight forwards. it happened, it’s fact now, nothing else to do about it, can’t let it shake you. but for everyone else looking on, finding out, they feel greatly uncomfortable with the fact that misa can just move through things like that. he’s too nice, too oblivious, how do you not lose that kindness? sam wants to hold him in his hands and shake him, what do you mean kids used to lock you in the equipment room? what do you mean there was a year long stretch that your parents didn’t say a word to each other? what do you mean you lived at your senile grandmother’s house alone for months while your brother fucked off with his girlfriend? because misa will blab automatically that there’s a surprise party for toff but he’s not rehashing his past, he doesn’t worry about it. you have to move on, he thinks. sam, toff, and everyone else really can’t though, bc what do you mean, misa?

[castratecapuchin]

#mytruth and for the fun of it

notes bc i can’t help myself:

misa gay bi etc icon, sam very dude bro who is probably gayer than he thinks but is just very painfully into misa (most he has ever liked anyone EVER and it’s a problem)

the height difference isn’t large but it matters to misa (and me)

sam is hornier #wantsthat . misa gives me more chill vibes about it, is very into sam but also is very into silently sitting next to sam

neither of them are very jealous people. sam is famously laidback but also being around misa does make him more protective than normal but it’s still not crazy in the grand scheme of things. misa is more typical jealousy like… ppl are checking you out and i don’t like it. sam honestly doesn’t care when ppl check misa out, that’s his guy, he locked that down, be impressed

misa is stealing all of sam’s hoodies, they’re comfy, they’re big, he is bad at laundry and therefore wearing sam’s clothes means he can wait longer to do it. sam is mad that he’s endeared by it

sam LOVES a pet name. he thinks it’s funny to use all of them imaginable but also has his own classics to fall back on. they’re supposed to be ironic but where do we draw the line… misa, does not care to use them, except a rare babe

i’ve greatly established misa is the most sincere guy ever and has zero brain to mouth filter so funnily enough, he is an affection through words guy. sam though lives behind his walls of irony and funny bits, so he likes the action route more. that being said, misa makes him soft and he can’t help but say nice things sometimes

similar to above. misa is more open about his feelings so he’d probably be the first to verbalize it, but he’s also a go with the flow guy i think so… sam probably instigated something and then misa was honest about what he was feeling

sam bug squasher makes perfect sense. misa doesn’t really care but he thinks it’s nice sam will kill any bug for him if asked

can misa drive? yes, has his own car and all. does he drive? no why would he, sam is behind the wheel always. sam would argue it’s bc misa is a shit driver but he doesn’t even know that, he’s never been driven by him. it’s a concept sam doesn’t even want to figure out

they can have a little pda as a treat. sam is a tactile guy and misa likes that. they’re not doing anything crazy but sam always has an arm over misa’s shoulders. but also they can stay a normal distance apart and it’s not weird

overprotective is different from jealously!! sam is still a laidback guy but he does have an eye out for anything nefarious when it comes to misa. this also applies to misa being oblivious to being chirped. sam is a fake dgaf-er

misa has had a girlfriend, sam idk, but this is #rpf and i can do what i want. i think sam is just more socially aware so the politics of relationships are just easier for him, misa not so much

[mack-will]

(x)

↳ requested by anonymous

[whimsysful]

thinking abt how the wackles canonically gaslight warso whenever he tries to call them out on their fuckass soulmate pingpong passes, and you know what would be vvv funny to ME? is if will and mack decided to come out by gaslighting the entire world. first in the sharks locker room, mack dropping a quick kiss on will's forehead after a good practice. the entire team dumbfounded. like uhhh who's gonna tell them that's gay as shit? will, confused: he's my boyfriend so i mean yeah i guess that’s pretty gay? delly: SINCE WHEN IS MACK YOUR BF? will: uhh. since rookie year? we literally made out at the halloween party. you know. when we rocked up to the function in matching gay ass lederhosen and posed for the paps holding hands on top of a legit baby? mario, triumphant: i KNEW that shit was zesty af! toff: shut UP mar. also. what the fuck ? no you didn't. in mY HOUSE? mack, thoughtfully: well, it was more like your backyard. and it was more like over the pants handies vs just making out. also, you SAW us you fined us $500 each??? toff calling cat: please tell me im not insane. its too early for me to be showing signs of cte.

somehow, it works. everyone is too dumbfounded and confused to object and too stubborn and proud to admit they were the "last to know". (other than kiefer sherwood. chief kief is not fooled but he also dgaf. he's just clocking in for his shift ok) so. the wackles just kinda. decide to expand their strategy to the media. sheng peng asks mack how he feels about will's assist on mack's gwg and mack just goes yeah, my boyfie is suuuuuch a good hockey player :) so smart :) im so lucky to have locked him down :) and sheng is like ????? your what????? and will is like yeah sheng. you were there when he asked me out. we offered you the exclusive on our coming out interview and you said nah not interested

[weaponizedspite]

Samuel Dihinson