#glossofic

[lalimauk]

more heroforges from my SWM cyberpunk h/c fic! part of my winter's crest gift exchange fic for @wanderingbasilisk aka wandie bc they gave me scifi/android/cyberpunk brain rot and so i gave them 6k of said brain rot lol

pls enjoy 🙏💜

[lalimauk]

The boys' heroforges from my SWM scifi cyberpunk h/c fic! t'was a soup cult winter's crest gift exchange fic for beloved @wanderingbasilisk and fun as hell to write. enjoy 💜🧡💜

[lalimauk]

They are together once more– celebrating, drinking, laughing as if they had not been recently apart for the last six months.

Fjord and Jester just announced that they're engaged to be married in the next year. 

He is of course, incredibly happy for them, but he can't help the sinking feeling in his chest, especially when his eyes land on Essek, who smiles fondly at Jester's beaming, proud little face.

He's making him wait for so long, and it's been six months, but not yet. He's not ready. There's still so much left to fix– in the world, and in himself.

He lays a hand gently on top of Essek's when he gets the chance next, and he doesn't know how to say 'Thank you' and 'I've missed you' and 'I wish much for us' so all that comes out is:

"I'm sorry."

Essek, perplexed, says quietly between them, "For what?"

He feels a sad smile grow on his lips and his words leave him again, so he shakes his head and says, "Later."

Soft violet eyes meet his searchingly, then Essek nods, smiles kind and warm, then squeezes his hand and moves on.

When Caleb looks away, he sees Caduceus approaching to put down a bowl of stew in front of him, then sits next to him with his own and hums thoughtfully.

"Do you remember the green beans?"

"Ah– ja, ja– of course." His voice comes out far more timid than he'd intended.

"We are planted, and so we have to grow. But each plant grows differently, some fast, some slow, some tall or short. Some grow in the fall, and some in spring."

Caleb swallows the spoonful of food in his mouth and it goes down past the lump in his throat.

He didn't realize he was so easy to read.

Then again, it's Caduceus.

"You are not slow or out of time, Caleb. You are growing exactly as you are meant to."

Dammit.

He feels his eyes well up quick, and a traitorous tear rolls off his lashes and into his lap when he blinks to look away, embarrassed.

Caduceus' large, warm hand lands on his shoulder.

"Th– thank you, Herr Clay."

–

[on AO3]

[lalimauk]

a place for us to dream

shadowidomauk

post-canon, domestic fluff, sleepy summery vibes, essek pov

swmmer of love collection on tumblr, on ao3

1.1k

AO3

-

A cool breeze flows through the window, rustling the pages of the book Essek reads. He adjusts and holds down the corners, careful not to jostle the half-napping tiefling on his lap. When Caleb comes in from the garden and pauses to put down his tools and take his shoes off, his gaze meets Essek's above the edge of his tome, and the sparkle in the redhead's eye and the gentle pull of his lips further light up his lovely, sun-kissed face.

"Hello, dearest."

"Mmm.. how's it looking, love?" Molly pipes up, voice sleepy and lilting. They seem to be especially cat-like in the summer, heat and sun lulling them into a softer, lazier version of themself. Essek's thumb rubs a gentle back and forth absently at their cheek where his hand rests, ever endeared by them. Molly's quiet chest purr grows and they nuzzle into Essek's thigh with a cute hum.

"Ja, good. All the little ones are doing well."

Essek's face breaks into a smile at Caleb referring to the plants as if they are his children. He is so very adorable when speaking about his cats or plants, and if he happens to go on about it for a bit, Essek loves nothing more than allowing him to do so while listening raptly and watching all the wonderful ways his expression changes as he speaks with as much passion about this work as his magic.

Essek is pulled inexorably to him, and suddenly his book is the least interesting thing in the world, so he sets it aside to greet him properly. Molly must sense his intentions, because they roll away for him and curl up on another pile of cushions on the plush rug with a little smirk, a wink, and a nod towards the redhead. 

"Go on then, love." And the end of his sentence dissolves into a big yawn then a prompt, grumbly return to his nap.

Essek pushes up and off towards Caleb, and the redhead's smile widens as he approaches, the circle of his arms rising to beckon Essek into his hold. 

"Schätzchen."

Caleb envelopes Essek fully, encircles him with his slightly larger form, and pulls him in and squeezes, causing a little bubble of joy in Essek's chest to erupt from him in a soft laugh.

Being wrapped up in his loves' arms never fails to feel like a homecoming– even while having the privilege of their proximity so often nowadays.

He is so very warm, and despite the inherent heat of the season, Essek enjoys it, basks in it, and can't help but nuzzle and drop kisses against his sun-warmed cheek, over and over, softly, till he's sated of him.

"Not that I want to part from you this soon, but I don't want to get your nice clothes all soiled from mine."

Essek hums in acknowledgement and continues to press lingering kisses against Caleb's cheek, crow's feet, the corner of his smile anyway.

"You're very cuddly today."

"You were away for a while. I missed you."

"I was right outside, under the bright scorching sun, my dear." 

Cheeky.

Essek tuts and softly bites the edge of his jaw in mock abuse, reveling in the laugh Caleb gifts him.

[read the rest on AO3]

or read the rest under the cut~

They part, and too soon, but Essek lingers in his arms for a while longer, even Caleb himself seemingly reluctant to let him get too far.

As Esseks hands cradle his love's jaw, he takes him in; dark freckles, bright blues, light scruff, strands of messy red hair in his face–

"What happened to your hair?"

"Hm?"

"It's fluffy. Tangled."

"Ach. The true dangers of gardening." Another roguish smirk.

Essek scoffs. "Come, sit– let me fix it for you."

He tugs Caleb down into their rumple of cushions and has him sit close, facing him, their legs casually overlapping where it's comfortable. Essek pulls Caleb's loose hair tie from the back of his head, and gently begins to comb through his hair with his fingers, chest fuller and warmer with each pass of his fingers, something in him singing at their closeness, at the chance to impart care and attention to one he holds so dear.

Caleb shamelessly watches him with a far too fond look, coloring Essek's cheeks in what he's sure is a revealing shade. Essek tries to stay on task, but every once in a while meets his love's focused gaze with a helpless, embarrassed smile, or meets his lips with a soft press to distract the beautiful menace of a man, and get some not truly wanted reprieve from the gentle heat of his surveyance.

Essek notices movement aside, and turns to watch Molly peek an eye open, then rises to hands and knees and wriggle-crawls over, still lithe and graceful as a cat somehow, to drape himself into the crossed bracket of Caleb's legs.

"Hi."

"Hello." Essek answers first, and Molly grabs onto the front of his sleeveless silk shirt, which makes Essek tut in exaggerated irritation, and then pulls him down to press a full kiss to his half smile, half faux-scowl.

"Miss me?"

"Of course." Essek smirks and leans back out, Molly's hand departing from his chin with a little squeeze. Essek leans to solidly press into Caleb's other side, forming a warm cove with all their bodies curved towards one another.

"Hi, you.'

"Hallo, Katzchen." And Caleb bends down to press a kiss sweetly to Molly's lips as they urge him there with a long-clawed hand curved at his nape. Essek watches his beloved together, a swirl of sweet-sharp honey in his chest.

"Mmm.. hehe." Is all the silly tiefling has to say when they and Caleb part, before they lay back and press their nose into Caleb's belly with a snuffle and spread into a languid sprawl of a nap across both of their laps.

"Ah, you too?" Caleb says under his breath, and passes the favor along by sinking roughened hands through Molly's curls to pull them apart from each other, their entanglement the aftereffect of doing absolutely nothing but rolling around the cushions all day. The tiefling's purr returns, louder than ever.

Caleb yawns big and blinks blearily after, also seemingly lulled to drowsiness in the sun. Having no context for the feeling and only understanding it in theory, Essek laughs a little into Caleb's shirt about the state of his two loves.

Caleb colors a faint pink and smiles sheepishly, and reaches out to slip a hand into Essek's, natural as breathing, and they lay back to rest alongside their partner, their nest a home hearth in the center of their cool, tree-shaded cottage.

[lalimauk]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Shadowmauk

1.9k

fluff, language of flowers, gift-giving, pre-relationship, confessions (sort of), polyamory, background Shadowidomauk

–

Molly gives him a funny look once or twice, and receives no answers, just anxious, furtive looks. He looks slightly annoyed and… constipated perhaps, so Molly probably said or did something untoward and didn't notice and he's about to tell him off about it.

In proactive retaliation, he's wondering which would be more fun, and which would show him even more special, secret sides of Essek – let this get drawn out till Essek says something and simply sit back to observe, or just corner him and antagonize him a little– gently, socially?

–

happy birthday quinnieeee @quinn-of-aebradore

💕🥰 love youuu pls enjoy the ourps 🤲💜

[lalimauk]

i feel you, your precious soul

shadowidomauk, shadowmauk

hurt/comfort, sci-fi au, cyberpunk au, relationship negotiations, touch aversion/ sensitivity/starvation, essek pov

gift for @wanderingbasilisk 💜

6k

AO3

—

“How are you feeling?”

Molly sits across from Caleb, and both hands, prosthetic and natural, lay in Caleb's outstretched palms atop his knees. Molly flexes the natural one easily enough, but the other is in a tight fist, and he's frowning at it, seemingly frustrated.

At Essek's prompting, he looks up, and it takes him another moment or two to focus his gaze on Essek’s face proper, who stands in the doorway, his own hands clasped together anxiously. Essek is patient and steady as he can, and even if his heart aches for him, he sequesters that away to a private place. He would hate to seem anywhere near pitying of him.

“I'd love to say I'm right as rain, but that is not quite the case.” Molly tries for a smile but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and falls too quickly, and he ends up revealing instead how tired he is.

“Uhm... I'm still numb in some places, and in others, it hurts. And I can't stop twitching since yesterday. This hand,” and he gestures to his left, the mechanical one, “Has been locked in a fist since last night. It usually takes a few hours to unlock on its own, but it seems to be stuck this time.”

Molly's left arm has been jerking intermittently, a clearly uncontrollable motion that shifts his whole body and translates all the way down to his clenched hand, and seems to be bringing him some distress, and pain.

Caleb's eyes follow the motion and turn a shade more somber, though he secrets that away swiftly while Molly is turned around. Essek can almost see Caleb's heart take a tumble and break into pieces as Molly speaks, as upset as he himself feels. Caleb's circuitry scarred hands squeeze Molly’s lightly, then return to their former position where they cupped them.

Essek can't help but feel utterly awful. After all, he's the one that did this to him.

He recalls with a pang the distressed message Caleb had sent him, then Jester's, begging for his help to save their friend, Mollymauk. He'd met the tiefling in passing, finding a chaotic and colorful being who never stayed in one place for long enough for Essek to parse him out properly.

A few days after the Message, the entire Mighty Nein appeared at his doorstep. When they ensured Essek's lab was secure, Caleb fetched what was left of their dear friend's bloody, mangled body from an Amber Vault – a digital, portable safe– and handed that over to Essek, alongside a memory drive that had Molly's mind uploaded to it in a combination of efforts by Caleb and Caduceus.

Essek had been terrified at the responsibility inherent in saving such a precious person's life, but he had done his best to focus on the cybernetics puzzle at hand and to take the anxiety out of his mind. There was no room for mistakes or missteps.

He was successful, much to his relief, and his friends’ collective joy.

The tears and yells as Molly had opened his eyes for the first time rang clear in his memory. The tiefling had startled, covered his ears, and ran from the room– only to collapse in a heap a few steps into the next one.

It wasn't an unexpected sign of failure by any means– the collapse, that is, not the fleeing– after all, Mollymauk’s body was half machine now, and it had yet to be calibrated and tested properly. More specifically, it was costly, state-of-the-art cyberware mods and prosthetics, provided for free of course, connecting what of his ravaged body Essek and his team could salvage.

As a scientist who'd lived through the last hundred and twenty some years watching the world and its technologies develop at an alarming pace, he'd slowly grown more and more doubtful of the ethics of the now normalized practice of cyber modification, or ‘cybermods’. It's even worse that his current patient– ward, friend, whatever their odd relationship now was– hadn't been able to consent to these operations at all.

It made Essek hate himself just a little bit more, made him doubt his work– political and scientific– his family, their wealth, their entire society, his everything, even more deeply, despite how thankful all his friends, and Molly, were in the aftermath of that incident.

“Essek?”

Molly's voice has now taken on a subtle digital tone to it due to his voice-box being modded, and in addition, he sounds… lost, exhausted. Nothing like the person he once was.

Essek tries not to wallow right now. That can be for later, when he's done his job and is alone once again.

“My apologies. Just thinking.”

He goes to them. A person he is helping take care of needs his care right now. He has a function to serve, and that is the priority.

[Read the rest on AO3]

[lalimauk]

hieeee the server came up with this fun summery shadowidomauk theme for one of our writing nights and are sharing it so we can all use it and bask in the swm goodness together 💜💕🧡

use the tag #swmmeroflove and add your work to the ao3 collection to join us!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[lalimauk]

you're the only light i've ever known

caleb/essek

post-canon, domestic, hurt /comfort, introspective, essek pov

1.5k

AO3

-

Being within the same four walls for a long period of time with Caleb is a new experience for him, and a fulfilling one in many ways.

 

Essek has the chance– the privilege really– to see him as he is, without all of his protective layers. He is without the air of humble confidence and charisma he carries himself with as a teacher and a mage– without the slight tension in his shoulders he always holds in public, especially when the Nein are around, attentive and protective of them as he is.

 

It's a pleasant surprise to see a side of him that can be wholly unwound– humming as he cooks, speaking gently with the stray cats that visit him, napping in the shade underneath his apple tree.

 

Matters of the heart have always been complicated for Essek, but he is honest enough with himself to at least admit that somehow, within the liminal spaces of the chaos of their lives, he's fallen for him– as inadequate a phrase that is at describing how he feels about him. But– it is the truth, and he knows seeing him as he is now has only made him fall harder.

 

Tonight, they read together in the tower's library, Essek's cold feet tucked under Caleb's thigh, and one of Caleb's hands casually over his bare ankle, thumb absently sweeping against the skin there; a welcome distraction that draws Essek's gaze away from his book, and onto Caleb.

[Read the rest on AO3]

Or read the rest under the cut

As he watches him, he takes notice of additional facets of this new-to-him openness. Caleb's hair is untied and spilling over his shoulder, his shoes are off, and he wears loose linen clothes and a simple housecoat that show a slighter frame than his wide shoulders imply in his customary coat. He remains taller than Essek, but he is not as large as he once thought. There is a cup of fragrant tea in hand, a book in his lap, and his body is a languid shape against the plush cushions.

Caleb said he had spent the day, prior to Essek's arrival, working in the garden, and it is evident on his skin, sun-warmed and darkly freckled as it is. His hair is mostly dry from their bath together, and a little tousled.

He is so very beautiful.

Bright blues, made dark in the firelight, are trained intently on the words in front of him– And oh, how it would be to have that intensity directed at him again–

Clearly, Essek's focus is utterly lost, and he cannot stop looking at him, or thinking about him– despite already having had some time to indulge in him earlier today.

Essek softly shuts his book and puts it aside.

"Caleb..."

"Yes, dear?"

Essek shifts to sit with legs tucked under him, and hands in his lap– he wants to ask first before touching him.

"Do you mind coming closer?"

Caleb's clever, warm eyes look up from his book and he twitches a brow up. Acquiescing, he shifts nearer and turns to face him, amused and fond as he tracks Essek's movement.

Essek flicks his fingers into his Wristpocket and a mother-of-pearl comb appears in his palm at his will.

"May I?"

For some reason, Caleb's expression turns into surprise, then a gentle smile quirks his lips, but it is mostly in his soft crow's feet.

He looks contemplative for a moment, but then says, "Ja, certainly."

And he turns half away, his handsome aquiline profile looking down into his lap, auburn strands falling across his cheek, as he waits patiently for Essek to start.

Essek doesn't know what gave him the idea, other than his heart's ardent desire to be closer to him… but perhaps in a different way.

He reaches out and gathers Caleb's messy locks between his hands, admiring how silky it is, and starts to run his fingers through it. He works his way slowly through with the comb next, from the tips to the roots.

"You have lovely hair."

"You would know."

"Flatterer. We are talking about you right now, not me."

"Hmm."

Silence, and deep calm blankets them, as if they sit in a quiet, warm bubble together. Caleb seems to sink deeper into the settee the longer they go, shoulders drooping, and he lets out a few sighs throughout. He's malleable and soft, and it pleases Essek endlessly to see him like this.

When he is done, Caleb faces him again, and he seems lulled to a drowsy state; slow blinks and a yawn. Essek can't help it– he affectionately tucks his hair behind a round ear for him, then cradling his lovely face in both hands, he touches his own lips to Caleb's, softly, breathing him in. A warm glow flows through him at their connection, down to his tips and toes.

Caleb's hands on him are undemanding, and they linger at his own hands as they both pull apart. Caleb levels his wrist to his mouth and places kisses there, then holds Essek's hands in his lap as he lays his head on the back of the couch, cheek pressed into the cushions. He smiles gently at Essek, eyes heavy-lidded with sleepiness.

He is so lovely like this, mellow and warm and open, and the feeling dawns on Essek once more– he loves him so very dearly.

"Come, lie down." He pulls on his hand, adjusts how he sits, and maneuvers him to lay his head in his lap. Caleb goes easily, and cutely, he burrows his cheek into his thigh and settles in.

"I would say let us move to the bed," and another yawn, "but now that I have landed in your luxurious lap, I don't think I can ever leave it again."

Silly man. And honey drips from his words as always.

"I should hope not."

Naturally, his hands gravitate to his partner's hair once more, focus less on function and more on making him feel good, as well as fulfilling his own playful want to twist it around his fingers gently and watch it spill like a swatch of silk from his hands.

"Have you always kept your hair long?"

"When it is my choice, ja."

Essek feels his heart stagger a little, and he quietens.

"Have you ever?"

"Ah.. yes. It is customary for Kryn, as a way of honoring our current form. But I cut it all off after I forewent consecution. Mother was not happy with me. Verin thought it was all very funny."

Caleb hums thoughtfully.

"Long hair on you… you would wear it well."

"Perhaps. We may never know."

He chuckles, and Essek smiles, ever fond.

"I… I haven't had anyone do this for me since I was a child."

"I see…

I have not done this since I was a child."

A few, full minutes pass. There is only their soft breaths, and the lulling sound of hair being touched.

A low, watery voice emanates from the man in his arms.

"You are so good to me."

He sweeps a hand in a caress across the crown of his head.

"You deserve nothing less, Caleb Widogast."

He watches his side rise and fall with a deep, shaky sigh.

This is something he has the privilege of seeing too, between these four walls. The ache in Caleb's heart– one that he guards so close.

It only comes out in quieter, softer moments such as this– in the dead of night, floating in that blurry liminal space in-between sleeping and waking. Essek has learned to hold it tenderly, and reinforce him when Caleb is hurting too much that day to accept his attention and affection as readily as he does this night.

So, Essek sees all of him as he is, in all his precious bittersweetness, and Caleb allows him to.

As he scratches at the roots of his hair gently, he realizes Caleb has sunk even more into him, his breathing now deep and slow.

And this final vulnerability.

Essek floats the scratchy wool blanket Caleb favors over to them, and lays it out on his form, then picks up his tome and continues to read late into the night, fingers still idle in his beloved's hair.

Eventually, when he tires as well, he floats them both over to Caleb's bed, gently as he can, and he lays next to him, close as he can without disturbing him.

Caleb rouses slightly at his movement, eyes fluttering open for a moment, and he shushes Essek when a hushed apology starts spilling from his mouth.

An arm encircles him instead, a large warm hand between his shoulder blades, and he pulls Essek in so he may settle close to his chest.

A featherlight kiss falls upon his brow, and he is warmed by him, inside and out.