#goblin mutant

[mtg-cards-hourly]

Goblin Mutant

If only it had three brains, too.

Artist: Daniel Gelon TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[mtg-art-daily]

Goblin Mutant

If only it had three brains, too.

Artist: Daniel Gelon

[leondesdichard]

[m3lssposts]

[shiieldmaiden]

legolas: *in a crowd and cant find gimli*

legolas: *cups hands to make a megaphone*

legolas: LADY GALADRIEL IS THE WORST EVER

gimli: tHE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WHERE'S MY AXE COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE

legolas: ah yes, there he is.

[mirdania]

We’ve both been dragged shopping might as well get to know each other while waiting for our friends to finish goshdarnit AU -- gimli/legolas

Gimli always loved spending quality time with Kili, but he didn’t really understand why Kili felt the need to ask him to go shopping with him and then grab a bunch of outfits Gimli didn’t like and lock himself in a dressing room without coming out once to ask Gimli’s opinion. It was fine, really. Just...boring.

Sitting on the couch beside him was a blond elf who looked equally bored. 

“Waiting on a...girlfriend?”

“Friend who’s a girl,” the elf said with a shrug. “You?”

“Cousin.”

“Ah.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“You uh, didn’t see anything you liked?” Gimli ventured.

The elf wrinkled his nose. “Not really.” He didn’t look like someone who shopped at department stores. Gimli became very aware of his own worn flannel and overalls.

“I don’t shop much--as you can see,” he said, gesturing to his apparel.

The elf smiled. “It’s a look that suits you,” he decided. “Very Ron Swanson.”

“Who’s that?”

The elf gasped. “Oh my god, I have to show you.”

And that was how Gimli found himself watching almost twenty minutes of clips from Parks and Recreation on Legolas--that was his name--’s phone. they laughed at the same moments and talked in between waiting for the videos to load. Legolas didn’t look it, but he was an outdoorsman, and sometimes he went to the shooting range Gimli’s family owned. They ignored one clip and talked completely over it and then realized that their respective shopping partners were still in the dressing rooms.

“I wonder what’s happened to him,” Gimli muttered, walking down the row of doors. He found Kili chatting with a red-haired elf and not at all in a hurry to go.

“THERE you are,” Legolas declared, spying the redhead. “Is  this your cousin?”

“Were you voluntarily interacting with a person?” Kili asked, looking delighted. “Aw, Gim!”

Kili and the redhead had exchanged numbers and spent most of the next two weeks texting.”Oh, Gimli,” Kili said when they were at Home Depot one day. “Tauriel’s friend Legolas is with her and he says hey.”

“Oh...well...hey,” Gimli said, quite flustered.

Kili smirked and texted Tauriel.

[mirdania]

We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings? -- legolas/gimli

Gimli was on his sixth plate of wings and he was doing fine. Legolas didn’t want to admit that six plates of mozzarella sticks had become gradually less and less appealing as the afternoon wore on; but as he stared at his marinara sauce he realized he couldn’t do it. He would have to admit defeat.

“Gimli,” Legolas said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Do you maybe want to swap a few mozzarella sticks for a few wings?”

Gimli considered. “No thanks,” he said.

“PLEASE,” Legolas said, trying not to cry. “I NEED some of those wings.”

Gimli smirked. “I knew you couldn’t handle it.”

Legolas watched miserably as Gimli slapped a few wings on his plate and grabbed a handful of mozzarella sticks. “I am weak,” he murmured to himself.

[mirdania]

also do the "mistake you for a shop employee" for legolas/gimli

Legolas had been walking around the Home Depot for the better part of an hour and still had no idea what he was doing. “Excuse me,“ he finally said to one of the bearded, plaid-wearing, red-vested employees examining a pile of lumber. “I’m looking for those ceramic fountain things old women put in their gardens, do you know where they are?”

The employee didn’t even hesitate. “They’re at the very end of the garden section; here,” he said, and he led Legolas over several aisles, under a sign that read “Outside Decor”. “This brand is pretty but it requires constant maintenance, so unless you’re an old garden lady with a lot of time on her hands, I wouldn’t recommend it,” he said. “These two,” he gave the boxes hearty smacks, “are reliable, and this one comes with a warranty.”

“Thank you,” Legolas said sincerely.

A red-vested employee stopped by. “Are you both finding everything all right?” she asked in a chirpy voice.

“Yes, fine,” Legolas said in some confusion...and then it dawned on him. “You don’t work here,” he said with no small amount of embarrassment.

“No, but I should; I know more than these college kids,” the man said in a voice that indicated he didn’t think very highly of college kids.

“Well, thank you for being so helpful,” Legolas said awkwardly.

“That for you?” the other man asked abruptly, nodding to the box Legolas was grabbing.

Legolas shook his head. “My dad; ever since he retired he’s been really obsessed with his garden.”

The other man shuffled his feet. “If you want, I can install it for you. Him. For him.”

Legolas was about to say no, but then he thought about how much it would piss off his dad if a veritable lumberjack of a human being showed up on his birthday to dig around in his garden. And he was kind of sexy, besides--in a grungy, lumberjack-y kind of way. “Well...if you really want to,” he said coyly.

Thranduil was going to shit bricks.