Realistic!Gojo Headcanons
You wouldn't be his Nr.1 priority in life. Unfortunately, as the strongest he cannot get too sentimental with others. That does not mean he's incredibly toxic, just slightly avoidant at times to experiences or scenarios that could disrupt his natural easy-going and flippant nature.
In a world of chaos, a partner for him is someone independent and doesn't expect too much. Having someone on his radar telling him what to do or how to behave, can seriously be too characteristically aggravating for him. Humans have one life, he lives however he likes.
No he is not a cheater. That was a serious mistranslated. The author claimed that Gojo just wouldn't have time to be a proper stereotypical partner, who makes times for his lover. Remember, after his 2nd year before Geto left, it was stated they were constantly busy. To busy to even check up on each other. Which means that as an adult, he wont have time for more than phone calls, teleportation if you have big events like birthdays or something that is spontaneously fun.
Spontaneity, ride-or-die type of person. Partner in crime, which means someone who is willing to go against protocols and orders.
Skills, techniques to match this anti-traditional sense. If you're weak, you'll be taken out by the higher ups in some type of way. Either they contact someone to take care of the job or put you up for execution.
Bring something NEW in his life. Not the same-old-same-old. Gojo is known to travel for work but also to experience the worlds cuisine. He would like it if you had the same passion or drive. That spark is important. Which is why he leans towards people in their youth. Not just because he wants to protect them. He genuinely lost his youth, so bring it back.
Remember, even as an adult and past-youngster, he was arrogant. Undoubtedly he learnt from his mistakes with Toji. E.g Learning to use Infinity constantly and not put his guard down, but at the same time he cant exhaust himself. That's one of the reasons he got stabbed anyway. He used the Reversal Technique to help with fatigue. Which is why a partner who can match his grit, have their own strange methods to KEEP growing consistently is attractive.
If you dated him in his youth, before he turned 20, expect someone a bit avoidant. After Geto's absence, he was even more rude. Especially towards weaker people (e.g. Ijichi, Chapter 211). Though, it was for a good cause. Weak people cannot strive for higher purposes, so they stay in their lane and play with their strengths. For Ijichi's case it was fundamental sorcerer abilities like the veil technique and straying from combat.
By the way, isn't it strange that Nanami and Gojo grew apart, when they were at the same school? If Nanami is a 2nd year when Gojo became a 3rd year in 2009, that would mean after Geto left they simply grew apart. In the OP of Season 2, including extra scenes, they all got along in a tight knit group. However, after Haibara died, it seems like Nanami most likely strove to leave the JJK Sorcery world after graduation. Which means from September 23rd 2009 til April 2010 (graduation day) Gojo was alone as the strongest. Nanami became more strict, less expressions showing on his face as an adult unlike his younger self in the OP. Dating Gojo in this time would be hard. You would need to capture his attention. Perhaps a very strong technique that is enough to SCARE THE HIGHER-UPS. That would peak his interest. Your strange innate ability is basically enough to rub salt against their wounds for having Geto becoming a rouge because of their methods. Perfect.
KEEPING his interest is hard. He's flippant. In Secret Inventory, Principal Yaga told him about the Star Plasma needed for Master Tengens immortality. Gojo was clueless about what it was. That's an indicator he lacks some curiosity to understand the 'boring' parts of JJK society. The cooler things are probably himself and other users who share his own power. Furthermore, he answered along the lines of 'So what-?, So cool (immortality)' in a bored way (sub). Expect this attitude from him. A popular know-it-all. Not a nerd or a strict person like Nanami. Just a 'So what?' since he definitely knows more than you. Introduce something new in his life, enough to make him think 'This is bizarre!'. So...OP Techniques are actually welcome lol.
Someone who can match his humor, obviously. He likes going back and forth. Stimulate him. He comes back-and-forth with Utahime, Geto. You can have a calmer and chill presence like MeiMei and Shoko as well. Just be of use, in a way. Don't tire him with too much of the same topic. Unfortunately, his own flippant attitude would either say something tactless or just dismiss the chance of continuing the conversation. So, if you can quickly switch topics, say random things, be blunt - attractive in the eyes of Gojo. It shows character, confidence, wit and honestly matches his own tactlessness in a way.
As an adult sorcerer later, I find it almost near impossible to imagine him realistically letting his guards down. Every day is work. You would need history with him. There is a very clear reason he told Ijichi to come along with him (before Gojo killed the Higher Ups) and not someone else more competent. It's the fact that he KNOWS Ijichi. Chapter 223. Trust is the key. Otherwise, you would need to be with him for years. Show your dedication, your improvement, your dismissal of the higher ups but don't be impulsive about it. Impulsiveness leads to death. Most importantly, don't slack off during fights. If you have an extremely strong technique, by all means just blink it away. It would be FUN though if you suddenly went all out. Not just brute force but martial-arts, speed and agility, reading the environment ans using it to your advantage, making a detailed report later that shows your intelligence. Which would make him re-think about truly knowing you, because you turned the tables. He would think 'Wow, this person truly knows what they're doing'.
Not needing protection. If you have his likability, you would already be a person of strength and adaptability. Adapt constantly and make yourself better. Looking at ease and composed and almost is just fine. You don't need to act like Nanami.
You would basically have one or two interactions with him every so often, which is like 1-3 months. It's sad and slow for you, I guess. But it's worth it. Slow-burn is how the romance between you two would realistically happen. In the past, he would get attached quickly (before Geto left). After Geto left, he didn't even foster his relationship with Nanami. To the point Nanami thought 'This guy is arrogant and No, we don't need to hang-out Gojo for the nth time.' Strange right? And adult Gojo craved at least some past-foolery and sketched a penis to bring some humor in the situation as he skedaddled away.
In one DRAMA CD on YT, Nanami and Gojo walk in the city. Gojo tries new food and doesn't flinch when he's asked 'You're seriously/actually eating?' instead he answers with a confident yes. Nanami then indulges and eats with him. Be like that. Open to try. You don't need an angelic attitude. Be yourself.
Someone to keep him on his toes. Be witty, almost snarky at times but only if you've had a good enough start with him. Depending on whether you meet teenage-almost-graduated-Gojo or adult-Gojo results wary. As a teen, he wouldn't immediately clap back in a funny way. He's overworked, thinking about how to go against more tradition and needs someone who can do a slow possess. As an adult, if you've known him for a few years, perhaps just one year, it could be okay-ish.
Dating wise, no dates really. I do think he would show you the best ramen in places of Japan and mochi, dongo and so on. It wouldn't be frequent. He would honestly like it if you also verbally told him 'You know what, just appear at random times and take me away', to install some affirmations into him. Deep down, teenager or adult he can be insecure. As a teenager he came across as insincere. As an adult, people stayed away from him. Widening a path for 'The intimidating Gojo, who was seen every now and then'. But, he did have a teaching post. We could assume he was away at times and wasn't the best teacher. Imagine sleeping 3 hours a day to just wake up for a class you barely have time to prepare material for, then go on a two-hour long meeting about some traditions or plans. I would expect his lover to not just be understanding, but also share some of the burden. If you're strong, yet you laze around and never take missions, he wouldn't be a good fit because he would just feel like there would be a gap. He wants to relate and wants you to relate to him. Don't overwork yourself but don't take one mission a day and never look back. Having a spark is important.
He would want to test you. First a blunt conversation starter maybe 'How does your technique work if..', or just 'You're x right? New.' I do not think he would be too flirty or anything. As an adult maybe more whimsical 'I seeeee...you're the new face people talk about. Quite some technique you have. How does it work?' even though he has read all papers about you, he's testing your intellect and awareness. How do you respond? 'I don't know' would result in a 'Ok, here I thought you knew your strengths'. Not in a too rude of a way, but a person should know their own technique. His younger self would assert his own dominance in Japanese using 'Ore' to test and gauge your reaction, but as an adult its mostly 'Boku' or 'Watashi'. Early on, everything is an assessment. Are you intellectually aware of yourself, your own allies and potential enemies within your own friend group? Are you aware that your curse energy leaves traces so you would need to make sure you don't go overboard?
If you're a loner he could relate. Though, I doubt he's the type to get vulnerable and sentimental about 'Oh, we're two loners, I'm so sad'. Even til his dead, he didn't get emotional. His message to Megumi was goofy too, to ensure people don't linger on sad emotions. He's the same way. If you're indifferent, composed, chill or calm - in general acceptance to it, he would like it even more.
Too much empathy can feel overbearing and pity-like. Many people headcanon a lover who's emotional or constantly checking up on him. His work and drive consists of his confidence over himself. Yes, he knows he should sleep more but can't - so what's the point of someone telling him 'I know you barely sleep but why don't you try to do it right now?' when RIGHT NOW all he wants to do it live in the moment, before he HAS to go to bed and wake up to his teaching. I do think Gojo knows of his habits. A red flag for him would be to brush off any comments, no matter how small. He genuinely knows everything about himself. He's aware he cannot be vulnerable to even the closest, but refuses to change because that's how it is. A lover would be his 2nd priority. His first is the actual Jujutsu World and NoN-Sorcerers well-being as their synergy is fundamental. I imagine a comment of 'Have you slept/eaten/showered/what are you doing later or now/will you do this or that if you finish x?' - sounds exhausting. Honestly, he would maybe said 'Mh. Maybe/probably/sure will.' in that characteristic Japanese easy-going tone but would clearly not go into detail.
Sappy rom-coms wouldn't happen with him, except for his confession. I think he can be quite good with words from watching other people live a mundane every-day-life as he walks down the street and pick up on things, watch through a movie screen because his life has always been as the observer and not someone who can 'change' the world even with his limitless ability - the only people who can are the next generation he has to foster - he's more like a benefactor in that way but not truly the one who did.
I think you would need to find something interesting to talk about or do. I envision his lover and Gojo in a room and it's gone quiet. You can enjoy the silence, but after visiting each other so-so many times SOMEONE has to say something to foster the relationship. It's not the fact that Gojo would let the relationship DIE. It's just after so much trauma and pressure to pick up many shifts and relentless phone calls, I do not think he want's to get too attached to someone who would get pretty tired of his 'I'm busy' or 'I'm actually not in Japan right now'. If you call him to show your slight disappointment or anger or bitterness he would say 'You're right, but this is also my lifestyle. Though I understand it's difficult to listen to the same answers, but it's not an excuse per se. More like the essence of who I am. I'm not making excuses, I am genuinely busy'. Someone who would get upset or lash out emotionally like a sappy love-story in-making would not fit with Gojo. He has matured over the years but also can internalize and intellectualize his own emotions. He focuses on the results, but isn't like a robot or a strict mentor like Nanami. It's more like 'Ok. I'm sad. But right now I have missions and meetings so we can do that later.' AND THAT'S WHEN HE CRIED when he thought about his youth and Geto AFTER he had called over Megumi, Yuji and Nobara. He associated Geto with his youth, not just their friendship. I think a bittersweet ending leads to him crying about it rarely but instead zoned out at Jujutsu High on a desk. When he finally had time to relax, that's when the emotions come. I cannot fathom the fact that he SITS and just silently cries. No big gestures or expressions under that blindfold. Just a stillness engraved so deeply, it's not possible to show anything other than the actual sadness of losing something that you had.
Personally, I don't ship Geto and Gojo. I see between the lines and the nuances, but in my head I'm content to think it's the loss of a relationship, experiences with it, the easy going nature before Haibara died/before Nanami grew away/before Shoko had dark under-eye circles because she is constantly shouldering the only proper nurse at school/before Geto and Gojo had less fun dorm nights and just work and being forced into adulthood from 15-18+ years old/shutting down his own self pity and realizing his entire existence has always been leading up to a man of steel or a weapon. The opening song of Season 2, analyzed on YT, shares the moment Geto has dark circles during the cicada-filled summer and the KFC goodbye.
I've personally lost friends where I've thought in the moment 'If you had a problem, why not say anything even if its obvious I can't read your mind'. I have been on both sides, receiving those annoying words and saying them/thinking them. Besides, ALL teenagers are awkward with emotions when they're taught by their parents that their feelings don't matter. That's exactly why for my part, I project that onto these two characters and can't see it romantically when my own life has been exactly like that. Not-so-fun-fact, did you all hear the SLASHING motion of a knife JJK MOVIE 0 when Geto and Gojo says goodbye and the camera zooms out completely? Gojo had to finish the job and cut their bond for good.
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