#good stuff.. will be thinking about this..

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

i really appreciate seeing all the posts on my dash recently to the effect of "shutting down conversations about race/gender/minorities in fandom spaces because 'fandom is meant to be fun' is just an excuse to not think critically about the bigoted behaviors you are exhibiting". i hope that this energy carries over into the gaming sphere next pleaaseee

[dashiellqvverty]

[serennes-art]

when you have a bat, everything looks like a ball

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[kimabutch]

One of my favourite questions for figuring out a character’s motivations is which qualities they most fear being assigned to them. Are they afraid (consciously or unconsciously) of being seen as stupid? Ungrateful? Weak? Incompetent? Lazy? Cowardly? Intimidating? Like they actually care? etc.

It’s such a fun way to explore into who they are, why they do what they do, what they don’t do out of fear, and how they might be affected by the events of the story. And I love when characters have negative motivations—trying to avoid something (in this case, being seen a particular way) as much as they’re trying to achieve a goal.

[lucent-things]

you know what actually, no wonder lois started yapping about her relationship issues to mr terrific within 0.5 seconds of him commenting on clark being her boyfriend. lois has literally no one in her life to vent to about her relationship fears in full context (cat asks "what about that guy you were seeing" earlier and lois gives a vague answer because she can't admit to having a thing with goddamn superman)

and then mr terrific (unconnected to lois' civilian life or work, knows superman's identity, is a superhero himself) is like "uh yeah i know you guys are a thing"

of fucking course the floodgates were slammed open, she's got three months (or more) of suppressed overthinking and commitment issues to purge from her system

[nothingbizzare]

You have a good heart

[jorenilee]

im glad ppl enjoy my ramblings and my weird korean uncle spampon that has a complicated relationship with religion (edit: no one was gonna tell me I pressed send before finishing the sentence)