I’m actually amazed at Astarion on my second run in ways I totally missed the first time. This is why I wanted to revisit Act 1 so badly, it was clear to me that there were echoes of things I’d failed to trigger or experience initially.
I think I dove so quickly into racking up approval that I launched past a lot of the early interactions that aren’t necessarily forced in-game or even ‘exclamation mark’ triggered. The first 12 hours alone were a fucked up mystery since I was being coached on how to play by my husband and he would refuse to explain certain mechanics that ended up being quality of life issues (like the fact that you really should start long resting and checking in with companions relatively quickly). I thank him for pushing me into this experience since I was a complete newbie, but it sort of cast a veil over the first big chunk of Act 1.
I feel now like I’m actually getting to see Astarion’s personality unfurl in a much more natural way, and it makes his Act 2 behavior make so much more sense and feel so much less disjointed. The romance is in line with the natural character development now, and it’s even more beautiful to see.
Like…Astarion drank from a bear and he’s so proud of it he has to drunkenly brag about it to his only friend in the camp. That was probably the first bear he’s ever drained, let’s think on this. He’s spent his whole life in Baldur’s Gate. No bears. Being suddenly free of Cazador must’ve been so disorienting, the sun so terrifying, until it slowly becomes his norm. You let him drink from you, and that was marvelous for him! He’s literally like a kid…in a way, he actually gets to be a vampire for the first time. Ever. No rats. No starving. No handing perfectly good, warm blooded mortals over to Cazador before creeping away to his dorm to hopefully just be left alone by the other spawn.
My dude is on vampire Rumspringa. Whether you’re romancing him or not, you’re his best frat bro. Life is kinda fuckin’ awesome when it’s not horribly terrifying. The moments are fleeting, but he does share them with you from time to time! He must really be happy…
First time around, I missed so many dialogues that clearly went from “life is great, I don’t want to go back to Cazador” to “I must amass fathomless power to bring Cazador to heel,” and those conversations contextualize the absolute sea of change that is going on inside his skull right before your eyes. It’s so obvious how he’s flailing, scared, elated, charmed by every little thing, and how these new experiences are threatening to alter him to his marrow. It’s like his murdery outbursts are a physical representation of him railing against the conscience blossoming inside his chest. It’s petulant. It’s bothersome. It hurts. He doesn’t know how to live outside of survival mode. He doesn’t know how to live. His power hungry tirades that don’t seem to make sense with the other calmer, more thoughtful exchanges are the death throes of a brain chemistry that has been driven by nothing but extreme trauma for two centuries.
The small fucking things keep me up at night, and I missed them. Over 200 hours of gameplay, and I still missed some of the sweetest bits. Wow.
