goodbye superman.
corporations can go bust as often as they like, thus subsidizing consumers by transferring their wealth into the people's pockets — the more bankruptcies, the better it is for the people. government is more serious business and one needs to make sure they do not pay the price for its folly. hyuntae didn’t care for any of it at fist, but his whole family was in the industry or related to in some way. he was the weed in the patch because his endeavors were far from relevant to the line but because he cared for them, he somehow learned to care for what they do. he was starting to understand his brother. he wished he did sooner. even more so his father, and then his mother.
his mom was a deaconess at church before she decided to become a full time housewife. she was part of the choir as well. a soprano. an immaculate vocal. she would be in charge of solos, and hyuntae being her biggest fan, would watch her avidly from the front seats, leaning towards the backrest of the pew with his chin atop the arms that rested on it too. he honestly thought he'd end up like her. his mom would tell him he sang well but he was, as time went by and a new baritone was welcomed, aware that that had faded. or maybe he was horrible at it in the first place and was only told a lie to urge him to dream.
he liked to think he'll get better but with that idea in mind, he started from what he was sure he was good at. the drums. he played almost every sunday and that only expanded. he played at school for special occasions. he'd be on band march or in foundations playing the drum roll. he was, in general, musically inclined. but it didn’t mean he had to think of alternatives. he was always told by people outside the circle of trust (his family) that a career at music was too far-fetched. he hadn’t thought so for a long while until it hit him, seeing how well educated his whole family was. they all had stable jobs.
growing up was a struggle in terms of picking a career and the fact that his older brother was set on one thing was a pressure to him regardless if it was meant to be. once he finds his favored profession and chases for it in full vigor, everyone gives him dirty looks or going to the extent of whispering to each other how he must have been adopted. he was the least decent looking in the family with how he presented himself but he would argue the genes were strong on him. there was no denying he was part of the clan.
his choice, however, required a substantial amount of money. at some point, he refused help but ultimately hassled everyone around him so a time came when their family reached a financial decline. he tried not to blame himself for it, but unfortunate events followed a series that stretched along through years.
it didn’t take long until his father was jobless. they were holding up just fine for a while, but there was a decline with his health too. all of which he failed to take notice. it’s not the first time he’s disappointed and the more it happened, the less he felt. it could also be that he’s starting to mature, become more understanding when it came to the hardship of his parents. if anything, he should be out of their place by now.
his brother managed to do it around his age. whenever he visited, he bragged about it. hyuntae would be left wondering why he ever adored his schmuck of a brother and when it happened, he’d come to his mom like a little boy asking her to tell him stories about their childhood. he’ll feel better for the while his brother had his mouth closed. it became a habit to serve him food and drinks often just so he stops talking. he liked him better that way.
his brother had someone he loved now. that’s the next mode of his brother he liked because he seemed to talk only of nice things. they lived together in harmony. a surprise to the younger brother. he remembered them fighting and making up everyday. part of him thought it was all just bull then there’s the balmy side of him who thought it was the same for them. the vicious cycle of fights that followed forgiveness quickly after and it was just the love that transcends through all of the struggles. it was possible. he’d seen it from his own parents. their parents. and he could tell his sister-in-law’s smile was always genuine.
hyuntae wishes the same for her mother, but it’s been gone for a while that he almost forgot how it looked like. embedded now was her worried expression, done and tried. his father wasn’t getting any better. they still talked often, bonded even more as he’d been immobilized and practically confined at home. being the fun and caring figure in his life, he still made every effort to entertain his youngest son with attempts at fooling about with their old chevelle el camino from ‘77 but only making it worse. just like him. getting worse. hyuntae was still somehow confident he would last until at least he’s done with college and already onto being a real mechanic because his dad survived 4 terms.
first was in 2004, full of jokes from colleagues asking when he was going to die. second was in 2005, two of his friends passed away even before him. third was in 2008, he still managed to travel to greece. the fourth one (and the last) would be in 2011, when hyuntae was getting there. but of course, fate doesn’t grant him his wish. 2012 of april marks the day. he was out with friends to a trip in jeju. just him trying to brush off what issues they had at home but the morning next to their last day on the island, he receives a call telling him the gravest news of the century. he doesn’t remember when was the last time he cried, but he didn’t even hold back then.
4:07AM, written on his death record. the last thing he requests for was a burger, even when he’s saying “i’m parched.” hyuntae couldn’t be there for his last moment but if he was, he would have been drenched in his own tears and sweat. the burger chain was their last together. looking back and sharing the story, it sounded silly. they didn’t have enough money in their pockets to go and eat steak at a fancy restaurant when they both craved it, so they resorted to a small store that sold two burgers in the price of one. when he insists to pay, his father holds his hand and shares a smile. a smile that kept flashing in his dreams after their family’s loss. even on the very last time, he couldn’t let him. he’d beat himself up for it but that same thought kindles inspiration.
gotta be just like dad, he keeps in mind. gentleman, family man, superman. the only thing to avoid following after was his lifespan.
