Murdoc (Phil Cornwell) explains his difficulties between Phases 2 and 3 (it does not seem to fit with the established canon, but it is hilarious).
Gorillaz on BBC RadioOne, January 14 2009.
Transcript under the cut:
Murdoc: Look, I’ll tell you what, though, Steve, you know, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I-I’ve had some terrible, terrible times, you know.
Host: Have you? What, recently?
Murdoc: (dejected Murdoc noises) Yeah, yea-uh, y-y’know, the world, it’s just been unkind to me. I-I just had to rescue Noodle, y’know Noodle,
Host: I do.
Murdoc: Lovely Noodle, (whining) she got- she got taken away by HOBGOBLINS! An-an’ demons, to an underworld, and I had to go ‘n rescue her. It was ‘cause of some dodgy deal that they said I did, and she got-- an’ I had to go-- and so I’ve been doing all that, and I lost... (inhales) a lot of money, Steve.
Host: Did you? And how? How’d you lose your money?
Murdoc: (loudly sighs) Ughhh, I dun’ even, it’s--I, I did this guy, Bernie Madofffffss, that’s his name, he’s got this kind of poncey pyramid scheme, you know? You know, he had--this sort of pyramid scheme,
Host: A pyramid scheme?
Murdoc: Yeah, man, you know, I lost about...three and a half billion. I ga-I gave ‘im the money to buy some pyramids! You know? So I ‘spose I should’ve seen that coming, really. Mind you, having said that, I do own some quite impressive pyramids in Egypt now, mmmmmmmmmm. I’ve cut some little steps in them, sort of landscaped them, put a rockery in there, Steve (Damon wheezing in background)! But I’m skint. What good is a rockery when you’re skint?
Host: I know, ‘cause I was expecting you to come in here with a huge entourage, having all the trappings of a proper rock ‘n roller!
Murdoc: No, I have come in here with a huge entourage, but unfortunately it broke down on the A1 (laughs, delighted with himself). Where’s my cymbal crash (laughs). Sorry!
(chime plays, like the beginning of a public transport announcement)
Murdoc: (more delighted laughter) The 4:27 to Peterborough...is now an onion.
2D (Nelson De Freitas) DJing. I just love his inflection here!
2D Takin’ Over, Iceberg Radio, 2005 (original upload by blurarchiveproject)
Transcript under the cut:
2D: Hoi! This is 2D from Gorillaz. Uh, and that was New Order. Comin’ up next are the very influential Kraftwerk! band. (awkwardly, as if reading aloud) The-they, along with [another artist’s name] were the pioneers of minimalist electronic music. I think this track is about, uhh, sexy robots, or something? tHE mODEL,,,
Murdoc: (inhales, close to mic, then speaks, very fast and slurred) Oh that was really good that was the sound of the Eagles and Death Metal there that was, er, I Want You So Bad, mhmmm, go on playing that cheese was really nice, I dunno what was in it but it makes-make me feel really good mmMmMMmMmMMmmM,
(Damon wheezing)
Murdoc: (very quickly) Look at Jupiter up there look at the moons going round. OoH, oOH, oOh, visible to the naked eye, mhmmmhm, I think so, (inhales) aaahhhh, Steve, that’s better.
Host: (inaudible) got a (inaudible) for Christmas (inaudible),
Murdoc (overtalk) No, no,
Host: tell me ‘bout your Christmas, what do you get the man who’s got everything?
(Damon laughs, chime plays in background)
Murdoc: I-uh, I know, it’s really, really difficult. (inhales) I’d liKE a FoRD AnGliAAAA,,,, a 105e..... no one’ll know what that is.
Murdoc (Phil Cornwell) improvises masterfully to Razorlight’s “America”
Gorillaz on BBC RadioOne, January 14 2009
Transcript below the cut:
Murdoc: And just exploring new musical, uhh, avenues, you know? And I’ve got the- I think I’ve got these instruments down now! You know, you’re gonna see a lot more variety from me now. *inhales* Anyway, let’s go with it! This is Razorlight, unh, Americaaa, mmmmmmmhhhh....great...
(relaxing guitar intro begins to play)
Murdoc: Aw, go, Johnny!
(pause as more music plays)
Murdoc: Just listen to this! (thump in background, either host or Damon huffs a laugh. More music plays, keyboard keys can be heard clicking in the background, as if Murdoc is running his hand over them)
Murdoc: (smacks lips) yeah, mh, okay.
(Damon wheezes in background as singing begins. Very quickly, Murdoc begins to quietly and subtly punctuate the music with off-key keyboard plunking. He finishes a verse with an awkward scale and someone laughs. Soon he is smashing the keyboard randomly, horribly out of tune, approximately to the singer’s cadence, and loud clicking can be heard from the keys.
As the singer moves into the refrain, a slide whistle sound plays, overlaid by a doorbell. Somebody wheezes. A cartoon horn honks. The next few seconds consist of obnoxious combinations of these three sounds, often with the beat of the music or after a verse ends)
Murdoc: yeah, (HONK, HONK) mm, mm, mm
Singer: Happiness came and went~
Murdoc: (slide whistle) came ‘n went,
Singer: I got the movie script but I don’t know what it meant~
Murdoc: (slide whistle) I got the movie script, but where’s it gone? (wheezing in background)
Singer: I light a cigarette ‘cause I can’t get no sleep!
Murdoc: (drowned out by HONK HONK) can’t get sleep!
Singer: There’s nothin’ on the TV, nothin’ on the radio that means that much to me,
Murdoc: ~noooo~ (doorbell, slide whistle, followed by another, more obnoxious slide whistle as the singer continues) ~ooohhhh~
Singer: All my life (HONK HONK) watching America,
(people in the background absolutely losing it as the verse continues)
Singer: All my life (slide whistle, HONK HONK, slide whistle continues, drowning the rest of the verse)
(The situation devolves into laughter, slide whistles, doorbells and HONK HONK as the music continues underneath)
Murdoc: (as the song wraps up) Yeah, yeah, Americaaaaa~ oh, man. (HONK HONK)
(laughter in background)
Murdoc: What about that? I mean, you know? That’s how it should be.
Damon: Can you just...go away now? Can I play some [band name]?
Murdoc and David Bowie (Phil Cornwell) join Damon Albarn for the customary shipping forecast
Gorillaz on BBC RadioOne, January 14 2009
Transcript below the cut:
Host: Shipping forecast!
Damon (overtalk): Oh, shipping forecast, yeah! It’s actually time for the shipping forecast. I mean normally, it’s a midday and a midnight, but, um,
Murdoc (overtalk, VERY close to mic): Mmhhhh, yeah, (inaudible)
Damon: Mu-Murdoc’s, Mu-Mu-Mu-Murdoc...for some reason, has some sort of maritime-
Murdoc (overtalk): Yeah
Damon: Affinity, and he needs to, um,
Murdoc (overtalk): I’m a sal-salty sea dog, eh? Gotta...ge-th-this is for the cats out there, right on the briny. Yeah? *murdoc noises* And this is your actual shipping forecast.
Host: Explain the shipping forecast for someone who’s never heard it.
Murdoc: *inhales* Dae, d’you know what a shipping forecast is? It’s--
Damon (overtalk): Well, a shipping forecast is, uh, a daily thing that comes out twice in the day, um,
Host (overtalk): Bi-daily,
Damon (overtalk): Bi-daily, yeah,
Host (overtalk): On Radio Four?
Damon: (laughs) On Radio Four. (laughter in background). Radio Four, and--
Murdoc (overtalk): Get ou- who are you? Get out--
Damon (overtalk): A-and everyone who’s out, who’s out there at sea has got their um, their radios on, and it tells them where all the high and low pressure, and where the fogs, and where the wind, where the, the (laughs) waves, and big fishes, and the leetle feeshes! Are. And, you know.
Host: Sounds like this is the music for the shipping forecast.
(sweeping, orchestral background music begins to play, and continues under the rest of the bit. A bit of wheezing can be heard in the background)
Murdoc (drunkenly): And, here is the shipping forecast, issued by the Med Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coast Guard Agencies at 17:25 on Wednesday the fourteenth of January 2009 (drawls, trails off into an mmmmmhhhh. wheezing in background). *inhales* There are warnings of gales in Viking, nnnnNNorth Upshire, South Upshire, Forties, Cromarty, Plymouth, Bisque, Trafalgar, Fitzroy, Soul, Lundy, she was a nice girl, (Murdoc continues to list regions), Shannon, SHE was a nice girl! (laughter in background) (Murdoc continues to list regions at lightning speed). The general, um, synopsis at midday is it’s gonna be a little low, 240 miles West of Shannon, and uh, some other cat’s gonna come in with a lotta wind, which is gonna go over the rocks, and the sea is gonna make the rock all shiny, and an albatross is gonna come and sit on it, and have a picnic, mmmmmmmMMMMMHH yeah! I can’t be bothered to read any more of the shipping forecast, I’m gonna get my mate David Bowie, c’mere, Dave! Dave! Can you go--
Phil Cornwell, impersonating David Bowie: Yeah, whassa matter man?
Murdoc: Uh, can you- can you come in and do the shipping f-
PC/DB: Yeah alright, um, alright, you’re looking well! (wheezing in background) Uh, there we go, eh, eh, my name’s David Bowie, this is the shipping forecast, (singing) ~OH~! (laughter in background) Right, there we go, there we go! Cromarty, Southeasterly five, increasing six to gale eight (laughter), perhaps a [inaudible, but singing the words] (laughing in background). Moderate, increasing rough or very rough, ooh I like a bit rough, (wheezing continues) okay, oh missus! Occasional rain, good, becoming moderate or poor. I quite like moderate! Moderate is great, innit? Fantastic sometimes is a bit too much, but moderate, I can live with that! Here, listen to this! Fish, yeah? German bite, oooh, yeah that’s nice, innit? German bite, mm, lovely! Variable [inaudible], becoming Southerly or (singing) ~SouthEASTERLY, FivE tO SeVEnnnnn!~ Slight or moderate, occasionally rough ~laterrrr~, showers, moderate or good. Now let me tell you about my shower (Damon and host losing their minds in the background). It’s a Power Shower, uh? An’ it ain’t moderate, it’s really rather good. That is the ~shipping forecaaast~
Murdoc: Thanks a lot, David, oh, ‘e’s great, David Bowie!
(clapping)
PC/DB: Can I go now?
(clapping and cheering from host and Damon)
Murdoc: Ugh! (laughs breathlessly)
[Damon and Host speaking over one another and I cannot tell what they’re saying except I hear the word “record” and “you’re joking,” followed by more laughter]
Murdoc: Whassat? Oh yeah, anyway, look, Steve, Steve, and everybody gathered here, right? Let’s--the MuSIC, shut the music off! Look, it’s still going!
Murdoc (Phil Cornwell) criticizes Damon Albarn’s choice of music.
Gorillaz on BBC RadioOne, January 14 2009.
Transcript under the cut:
Murdoc: And this stuff Damon’s been playing, it’s all very well, y’know, i-it’s not, is it? It’s not--kind of--is it? You know.
Host: Isn’t it?
(laughter in background)
Murdoc: No it’s not, I don’t think it is.
Host (overtalk): Is it?
Murdoc: But this is! (more laughter in background) Steve, let me tell you, this is! (especially obnoxious Murdoc noises, then an abrupt return to normal speech to introduce the song)
Russel (Remi Kabaka Jr.) experiences a bout of memory loss while DJing
Russel’s Remix Hour, Iceberg Radio, 2005 (original upload by blurarchiveproject)
Transcript below the cut:
Russel: ‘Dat’s Pharell, frontin’ Williams right there, an’ that’s all well an-an’ groovy, but I’m...I’m wonderin’ if I’m missing something. Can’t place it. Oh! Whatever. Next up, we’re just gonna keep knockin’ out the classics. This one’s from The Game. Hate it or love it, with Fifty Cent.
(cut as music plays)
Russel: That was The Game. I’m your standin’ host, Russel Hobbs from Gorillaz, and for the next hour, the Russel Hobbs Remix Hour, Russel, drummer from Gorillaz, y’all, take ya to heaven, y’all. Next I uh...man, I keep getting that feeling that I’ve forgot something, y’know? Maybe I left the oven on. Mm. Whatever. Uhh, can’t quite put my finger on it. So here’s, uh, lemme-lemme play another track. Here’s uh...(introduces Terror Squad song)...in ‘da house, baby!
(cut as music plays)
Russel: Aight, aight, aight, this is, uh, gettin’ on my nerve, now. Botherin’ me. Ain’t my medication ‘cause I, I done taken that already. But there’s got to be somethin’ I forgot. Damn. Isn’t somethin’ to do with the doctor, it ain’t the dentist ‘cause I saw him last week! (sighs) Look, I’m gonna play this next track and have a little think about it. Here’s Faith, sexy, sexy lady, with Mesmerize.
(cut as music plays)
Russel: Mmm, this is, uh, chronic, man! My memory’s gettin’ so hazy. What is it I’m tryna remember? Real important, some-some record. Maybe it’s a [inaudible] medical record. No, wait. Uh-look. (sighs). This track is by Common, and it’s called The Corner.
(cut as music plays)
Russel: That was Ciara with Goodies, y’all, an’ I’m Russel Hobbs, Gorillaz drummer, sufferin’ from a chronic memory loss. I’m playin’ tracks and droppin’ tunes, and forgettin’ my records. But...there’s a track I meant to be playin’, I just...can’t remember...the tarnation it was meant to be. (pause) What? Did I say tarnation? I said that??? (deep sigh) Why in the Sam Hill would I say that? (sigh) I’m-imma--I’m-hold up, people, I’m goin’ look for that missing record, and y’all just check out Snoop, Pharell joint. Here comes: Drop it Like It’s Hot.
(cut as music plays)
Russel: That’s Snoop-diggy-Dogg, y’all, with Pharell, rappin’ about (inaudible). All hip-hop’s usual accompaniments: girls, cars, know what I mean? Snoop, ‘course, broke way back, with another great producer, Dr. Dre, a man of dubious medical achievements, but maybe from the same college as Dr. Hook, a band who were claimin’ their ability to write a pop hook was to an almost surgical standard. Hence, that’s why they call themselves Dr. Hook. DAMN! Da-I jus--that’s it! Unbelievable, that’s it! I just remembered! The missing record! I can’t believe--I forgot about Dre! Wheresit? Where’s it at? Qui--pu-pu- pu that record on!
(cut as music plays)
Russel: Whew, that was close. I almost forgot about that one. So, I find this whole thing with Dr. Dre and Eminem discoverin’ Dido’s Thank You track on the Sliding Doors soundtrack to be a little bit uh...suspicious? Uh, word has it that they were just chilling around in Mr. Mathers’ house, just the two of them, they decided to rent a movie. Now two guys, in on a night, I’m thinking Vin Diesel maybe, Jean Claude Van-Damme. But no. Uh, they’re thinkin: two guys, hardcore rappers, goin’ get Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow. Two men, with wives, watchin’ a romantic comedy. You draw your own conclusions. Okay, so I’m Russel Hobbs from Gorillaz, and you been listenin’ to Russel Hobbs’ Remix Hour. Hope y’all enjoyed the tunes and tracks, I’m outta here. Peace!
