Fuck the Seven Gods, more wine!
The only way to get through the joke that is D&D’s AU fanfiction (where everything is made up and the plot doesn’t matter) at this point is a drinking game.
*Spoiler Alert referencing some of tonight’s spoilers*
Take a sip/shot every time:
-A woman who was not sexually assaulted in the books is sexually assaulted
-Daenerys delivers a speech about power/freedom/being a Queen for the five billioneth time, sounding lifeless and wooden
-“Woman” is used as an insult
-A character who is not dead in the books dies
-Loras Tyrell is made to look like a buffoon
-A character does/says the complete opposite thing of what they did in the book
-A character does something contrary to everything they’ve ever done—show and books— for reasons not based on any possible rational thought (Ex. Stannis:”I love my daughter” “I fought to save my daughter’s life” “You’re not killing my daughter” “okay let’s kill my daughter”)
-A character makes a really stupid decision that will come back to bite them in the ass later because it makes NO SENSE, especially in context of the show’s overall story (Ex. Brienne just deciding to outright kill the Hound when they could’ve teamed up together to save Sansa, Doran letting Myrcella AND his heir leave with the Lannisters because...?, Stannis sacrificing his only heir, Littlefinger thinking it’s a good idea to marry Sansa off to Ramsay)
-Pointless sex scene/booby shot inserted for the sole purpose of meeting HBO’s booby quota
-There’s a canon sex/nude scene but we can’t see the guy’s junk
-Cersei is made to look sympathetic/Joffrey does something horrible that Cersei did in the books
-Littlefinger steals Sandor Clegane’s lines
-Catelyn is shoved in the background during Robb’s scenes
-Littlefinger teleports to a location in Westeros that he could not have possibly gotten to by horseback/ship/foot within the season’s chronology
-Two characters have a long, drawn-out conversation that basically involves them dissing each other the entire time. The conversation does not tell us anything we don’t already know about these characters and/or does nothing to advance the plot.
-If you’re feeling really daring, just drink whenever there’s a scene that tells us something we already know.
-You realize an entire plotline has been mysteriously dropped and don’t know where it went (ex. Why isn’t Balon Greyjoy dead yet? Is Gendry still rowing that boat?)
-Littlefinger reveals his plans to people it would be stupid to reveal his plans to
-A character shows up in a plotline that that character is not supposed to be in
-Sansa insults someone, only to have something bad happen to her that makes her look like a fool a scene later
-Tyrion is whitewashed and can do no wrong
-A character is recast
-Characters know things about other characters they could not possibly know
-A character’s name is changed because the audience is stupid hurr durr
-In Westeros, people don’t wear helmets during battle (this one upsets GRRM because he’s an old nerd)
-A character of color is dropped or killed off prematurely
And feel free to add more rules!
