#gothic femininity

[glowettee]

they loved her better when she bled | elena gilbert

༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺

i've been rewatching the vampire diaries again (for like the 5th time, don't judge me) and something hit me at 3am last night while i was wrapped in my blanket with my laptop balanced precariously on my knees… elena gilbert is the ultimate tragic girl. and maybe… that's why everyone loved her so much?

it's weird how we're all drawn to her pain, right? like, we literally watch a show about supernatural creatures who are magnetically pulled toward her suffering. and i can't stop thinking about what that means for us... the girls who relate to her, who see ourselves in her endless capacity to hurt and still love.

༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺

✧ the pretty, bleeding heart ✧

have you ever noticed how elena was most desired when she was at her lowest? stefan fell for her when she was drowning in grief. damon's obsession peaked when she was torn between two brothers. and everyone, literally everyone... wanted to protect her when she was breaking.

it's the uncomfortable truth nobody talks about: sometimes people love us more when we're hurting than when we're whole.

❀ the pattern i've noticed:

elena crying = everyone rushing to comfort her

elena making decisions = everyone trying to "protect" her from herself

elena showing strength = everyone suddenly having opinions

elena expressing needs = everyone telling her what she REALLY needs

this isn't just a vampire diaries thing. it's a human thing.

✧ the mystic falls phenomenon ✧

i call it the mystic falls phenomenon, when your pain becomes your personality to others. when people get so used to seeing you bleed that they don't recognize you when you're healed.

think about it… elena's humanity... her tears, her journal entries, her constant losses was what made her the center of the supernatural universe. the moment she turned her humanity off as a vampire, everyone lost their minds trying to "fix" her.

because they didn't want elena. they wanted the elena they could save.

🕯️ for the girls who are tired of bleeding 🕯️

here's what i've learned from elena's journey that nobody tells you:

⛓ uncomfortable truths about being the "tragic girl"

people will romanticize your pain but fear your power

they'll call you "strong" for enduring but "difficult" for demanding

they'll love the version of you that needs saving, not the one who saves herself

they'll use your trauma as proof of your depth but your happiness as proof of your shallowness

i see this with my friends all the time. the moment a girl stops performing her pain, stops being the elena gilbert in everyone's story... people get weirdly uncomfortable. like, who are you if you're not the girl we get to rescue?

✧ the salvatore brothers syndrome ✧

both stefan and damon were drawn to elena's humanity, her fragility, her mortality. they both wanted to protect her, save her, keep her "pure". even as they literally drained the life from others around her.

isn't that just… the perfect metaphor for how the world treats girls?

we're expected to bleed beautifully. to hurt poetically. to break in ways that make us more lovable, not less.

❀ signs you're caught in the elena gilbert trap:

you apologize for being happy

you downplay your achievements but highlight your struggles

you feel guilty when you're not the one needing support

you've become the emotional center that holds everyone together

you instinctively know how to make your pain palatable for others

✧ turning your humanity back on ✧

elena's most powerful moment wasn't when she sacrificed herself (again and again). it was when she chose herself, when she embraced being a vampire, when she stopped apologizing for her darkness.

so here's my personal advice for the girls who are tired of being loved for their wounds:

༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺

🌷 mindy's healing grimoire 🌷

stop making your trauma digestible for others. your pain doesn't need to be pretty or poetic or understandable.

practice saying "i'm doing really well actually" without adding a self-deprecating joke or problem afterward.

notice who stays interested in you when you're thriving vs. when you're struggling.

create a "no rescuing" policy with new people in your life. see who sticks around when saving you isn't part of the relationship dynamic.

whenever you feel the urge to journal about your pain, write about your power instead. what would vampire elena write about?

ask yourself: am i katherine or am i elena? (sometimes choosing selfishness over sacrifice is the revolutionary act)

༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺༒༻༒༺༒༒༻༒༺

the truth is, elena's story isn't really about vampires or doppelgängers or supernatural curses. it's about a girl who everyone loved more when she was bleeding than when she was whole.

and maybe that's the real curse we all need to break.

so tonight, i'm lighting a candle for all the elena gilberts out there. the girls who everyone loves a little more when they're breaking than when they're building. the girls whose tears are more valuable than their triumphs.

your humanity isn't just your pain. it's your joy, your rage, your ambition, your selfishness, your darkness, your light, all of it.

and you deserve to be loved for all of it, not just the parts that bleed.

--mindy xoxo

[mad-intersex-mermaid]

A Very Special Flag 💜🪻

Huttherine

Meaning: A combination of Aetherine and Hutter, a reference to Ellen Hutter from Nosferatu '24. Since the root word "Aether" translates to "ether" and Aetherine is an umbrella term for identities that center around otherworldliness/unearthliness and ethereality, and all things related to these concepts, Huttherine is a term for an identity centered around goth identity, specifically gothic womanhood and femininity and the otherworldliness/unearthliness and ethereality surrounding it, further contextualized in being themed after Ellen Hutter and her complex character in its themes surrounding gothic femininity, erotica, vulnerability, the macabre, the paranormal and being an outcast, or an "other". It can symbolize different things to different people as goths and goth women/femmes aren't monoliths but that's the main concept.

[kaotic-youth]

Considering the Victorian woman’s experience, as well as earlier ones (though published in the Victorian era, Bronte set the novel in the Georgian era) the red-room may be red for a variety of symbolic reasons: menstruation (Jane is ten at the novel’s beginning and will soon enter puberty); passion; torment; blood. Furthermore, Jane’s imprisonment in the red-room stems from punishment for confronting her male cousin after he hits her and insults her because she is dependent on his family and because the books she reads are not her own. She suffers for rebelling, for educating herself and living in an environment where she does not possess her own independence, so the surreality of her break with reality emphasizes the terror of her experience as a girl approaching womanhood.

The Sublime’s Effects in Gothic Fiction by Emily Deibler

[kaotic-youth]

Raw‘s focus on ritualism that is done to everyone makes Justine’s reaction sit in contrast. Everyone eats rabbit liver, but only Justine and her sister become cannibals. Everyone has sex, but only Justine wants to take more than a playful bite out of her partner. The idea that puberty is a singular and unprecedented experience unique to the teenager is a core source of teenage anxiety. Justine’s cannibalism is the classic, “my body is hideous and changing in a way no one else’s is” assertion pushed to its cannibalistic extreme. Tying Justine’s cannibalistic coming of age to ritual is a further way to highlight that her cannibalism is intrinsic to her womanhood, a point the film underlines clearly at its conclusion.

Nevertheless, She Feasted: Why Girls Get Hungry in Horror Movies by Francesca Fau

[kaotic-youth]

In these films, it’s not just sex these women crave: it’s autonomy. Autonomy is a universal desire for teenagers in cinema. What cannibalism does in these films is connected to sexuality, cannibalism, and risky behavior with autonomy and power. Justine’s sexual awakening coincides with her cannibalistic preoccupations but the focus of the film is more her reaction to that hunger. She never completely embraces it for fear that it could destroy her, a fact her sister proves at the conclusion of the film

Nevertheless, She Feasted: Why Girls Get Hungry in Horror Movies by Francesca Fau

[kaotic-youth]

The gothic house is often synonymous with a person or a mind. “One need not be a house” to be “haunted,” Emily Dickinson reminds us; “The brain has corridors surpassing/ Material place”, and in Wide Sargasso Sea Antoinette opens “doors” in her mind to be “somewhere else, something else. Not myself any longer.” “She herself is a haunted house” states the epigraph of my novel, taken from “The Lady of the House of Love” by Angela Carter.

For Gothic Heroines, Haunted Houses Are Always Too Big by Jane Healey

[kaotic-youth]

For women in Victorian England (1837-1901), the sublime is triggered through a fear of confinement and suppression based on societal expectations; an example of this fear appears in Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. In the beginning, Jane experiences terror when her aunt locks her inside the red-room, the former chambers of her dead uncle. As her imprisonment lingers, the experience takes its toll on Jane, and she soon believes her uncle’s ghost, a patriarchal symbol, will rise and attack her.

The Sublime’s Effects in Gothic Fiction by Emily Deibler

[kaotic-youth]

At first she could discern nothing, the windows being closed, but after a short time she began to perceive that the floor was all covered with clotted blood that reflected the dead bodies of several women suspended from the walls. These were all the wives of Bluebeard, who had cut their throats one after the other... She drops the key in her horror; when she tries to cover her tracks, she learns the key is enchanted and reveals the blood to her wife-murdering husband. “You wanted to enter the room! Well, madame, you shall enter it, and you shall take your place among the ladies you saw there,” Bluebeard thunders.... In the original telling, Perrault puts the fault at the heroine’s door, appending a moral warning against the dangers of a woman’s excessive curiosity:

Something Is Wrong in This House: How Bluebeard Became the Definitive Fairy Tale of Our Era by Kelly Faircloth