#grace barry

[aki-draws-things]

I'm a very very bad mouse, enjoying very, very bad AUs.

I also don't know how I want to finish it, so take this, for now... A bit of Josh/Gracie and a reverse episode that absolutely no one asked for.

"Grace?"

It was... Weird. Everything was weird, kinda distant, almost floating. His head definitely felt like it was floating. Josh didn't like it. He didn't like floating, it lacked the control of swimming, he wanted to be in control. But everything was... Muffled. Even his own voice.

"Gracie...? "

There was wind, he didn't remember any wind when they stepped out of the car, when they ran in the underground parking lot, when they wobbled out of it. He remembered heat, and pain, and the blast hitting him, sending them both against parked cars. He remembered--

There were voices, coming from everywhere around him, frantic, scared, pleading. Hands over his face, his neck, more voices, more shouts, more pleads, he just... Couldn't see them. He couldn't move a finger to tell them he was good. Mostly good. Well, good enough to hear them. Kind of. Everything was distant and dark and... Gone.

Lawson had his arms crossed and a frown on his face when he managed To finally open his eyes.

"dom wasn't enough, you had to go and give us a heart attack, don't you?"

He almost apologized, if only words could get out of his mouth. He tried, and tried, he felt so helpless, probably looked helpless too because Lawson walked closer and took a plastic bottle from the table and a straw. He wanted to frown at the straw, but he couldn't make his mouth work properly, he would get water all over himself. Like an idiot.

"slow, slow. Don't want to call a nurse cause you choke on water, mate."

"what happened?"

He finally managed to ask, already tired, already out of breath.

"one moment you and Gracie were all lovie" Lawson smirked, but somehow it didn't reach his eyes fully, Josh never liked to see that look on him, those worried eyes, the frown. "the next moment grace was yelling as you dragged her down with your weight. You just... Went down. Out of the blue."

"he was freaking out so much he couldn't even find your pulse."

"that's not true. It just took me longer." he scoffed moving to the side as grace crossed the distance and sat down in the bed, Josh hand brushing her cheek as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.

"how you feel?"

"good. I'm good Gracie." Josh leaned closer, his head resting on her shoulder and closing his eyes, her hand brushing his head slowly.

"I'll leave you lovebirds alone a moment. Wait for you in the car Grace."

She hummed softly, not moving from her position.

"he was really worried too, you know? They had to hold him back when ambos got to you. He... I-- we all thought you were dead, Josh."

"sorry..." he moved closer again, the nose brushing her neck, breathing slowly. "I'm sorry. I'm good Gracie. I really am."

"I know." Grace smiled. "they just want to keep you checked. To avoid... Problems."

"dom?"

"still waiting. - her phone buzzed and grace sighed. - I can't believe they're making us work today. We deserved a break. I should stay here with you."

She moved, leaning to kiss him again.

"I'll be back before you notice. - she smiled again on his lips. - try to get some more rest."

Josh hummed quietly, watching her leave before settling back on the pillow trying to find a comfortable position to rest, the pounding in his head coming back at full force making him squeeze his eyes tight.

[aki-draws-things]

Let's just have another poly-ship in this little plot bunny, shall we?

I'm just... I'm refusing to acknowledge last season, okay...

That was the problem of undercover, staying hidden, from the world, most of the world. In their case world meant almost literally. Their friends, most of them, knew they were dead, they saw them die.

"Well, quite the team we're putting up. At this rate we'll lead the whole underground Melbourne from..." The man looked around and waved his hand at the room. "A warehouse with nice houseplants."

"At this rate, - A second man said, walking in the room and having Michael spin around in shock, no one was supposed to know he wasn't really dead, and he was sure this whole undercover operation was still in Kerry's hands. Apparently it wasn't. - we'll catch the bomb bastard in a couple of weeks, months at most."

"Oh, it only took us some years after all."

For a very long minute, or two or so, Michael thought his jaw just hit the floor. He had met two other undercover agents, a man and a woman, but they left the warehouse early in the morning leaving him with the tech. With Connor. He hadn't seen him in years, not since-- Not since Grace. Grace.

"Grace...?" It took him even longer to find his voice again, and it came out squeaky and uncertain.

"He's a sneaky bastard, I'll give him that. But he's starting to make mistakes, according to Conn."

"Nah, he's leaving breadcrumbs, though..." He motioned at the screen, but Michael was too busy staring to pay any more attention, Josh on the other hand... What was Josh doing there? He wasn't undercover, Michael would have certainly known during the past months.

"And you pick breadcrumbs up so well." He moved closer, and Michael took a step aside and turned just slightly, watching as the Sergeant wrapped an arm around Connor's shoulders and pressed his cheek over his head. Connor lifted a hand, fingers carding through the hair with a quiet sigh.

"Keep 'em like that Joshie. Keep the floof, Gracie agrees with me." Josh laughed, his lips brushing against his temple before he stood and moved toward the door, not before kissing Grace too.

"Need to go back, if something comes up."

"No worries, Joshie. I'll be in touch, let me lead this op my way, it went well until now." Grace said, almost pushing out of the door. "Also, I'll have a bit of explanation to give now that you brought him in."

"Yeah, don't shock the Muppet too much."

"And you don't dare cut the hair! And be careful."

Josh spared a look with Grace, winked at her and walked out.

When the report of the burnt out car came in Michael had to swallow several times. He faked his death, Grace faked her death too, in order to join that undercover operation, but Josh? Josh had been taken, by the people who technically killed Michael, probably, hopefully knocked him out hard enough for him not to regain consciousness, and then burnt to a crisp in his own car. He swallowed and felt a lump getting stuck in his throat.

Be careful, they told him, everyone said those words to everyone when they walked out of the warehouse. 

Taken. Killed. Burnt. 

It was in that moment, as he watched the quick video of Josh's car ablaze, and a hand pressed against the window, that he realized exactly how Josh and Grace made what was between them work in truth. It was in the at first quiet gasp, in the sob coming straight from the bottom of his throat, the wail, long and painful that filled the room. It was in the way tears fell down Grace's eyes as she wrapped her arms around Connor, in the way he hugged her back, tight and desperate, his face pressed against Grace's side and his voice murmuring a quiet "How could I have let this happen? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.", and then a broken "Please tell me it's a trick. Please, please, please Joshie come back to us."

[aki-draws-things]

Phanie, and the never ending plot bunny saga.

Michael doesn't die in season 4, they have everyone believe so in order to flush out some bad guy one undercover op team was trying to catch.

In the same way, Josh, who was giving a hand to that team secretly, fake his own death to both the undercover team but the leader, and the TR team.

At some point the bad guy comes out, and both teams move to catch him, one because they were following him for long, years even, the other to get revenge for both Michael and Josh.

That's when TR finds out Josh's alive, that's when Josh stops stella and reveals Michael's alive too, by sending a text to the undercover leader to come out.

But TR is in for a quite big shock when undercover team is revealed to be led by none other than Grace, together with Connor and some other very good undercover agents.

[aki-draws-things]

Lucky charm kisses and.. One ending.

~~~°°°~~~

"kisses are lucky charms."

Grace always said, and Josh would be damned forever if he stopped believing in that. She used to stand ofln tiptoes, or she'd push him down sitting and kissed the tip of his nose for good luck. And Josh always gave in and held on that good luck kiss like his life depended on it. It didn't always worked, but little mattered.

He kissed the top of her head for luck too, pulled her close with one arm around her shoulders. He wasn't that lucky, Josh, and apparently his unluck stuck on grace too. And then she was gone. So much for lucky charms, he thought darkly.

Lawson was reckless, as reckless as Josh never see him, obsessed, focused, and at the same time missing clues of the world and people around him, perhaps too focused. So Josh thought it wouldn't hurt, hell he begged this wouldn't hurt, he pulled him closer right before leaving the base, planted a kiss on his temple, close to the left eye, with the most serious expression he could keep, before moving toward the car.

"what's that about?" he heard Lawson call out and waved a hand, dismissively.

"oh, you know... For good luck."

It didn't really worked, Josh thought again, his mind drifting back to grace as they stared at the bomb on the train, maybe he was just that much unlucky and dragged everyone down with him, only to be left there to pick up the pieces.

" are you sure Josh?"

"yep."

He expected Lawson to leave to the back of the train and get the passengers to safety, but he thought differently.

Pulling him down just slightly, Lawson kissed his forehead and stayed there a second longer, lips pressed over the skin, then he grinned and patted his arm.

"for good luck."

Somehow Josh held on that lucky charm the way he did with grace, somehow it worked, somehow theirs always worked.

Grace traced his chest with little kisses, smiling as she looked up at him, eyes closed and lips parted, his hands in her hair, trembling under her touch. She could tear him apart with a trail of kisses, and with kisses she could make him while again.

Josh woke up, with the memory of kisses and went for a run. Lucky charms never worked from him somehow.

"cold?"

"nah... I'm good."

Lawson kissed his knuckles with a smile, it was small, and soft, and Josh found himself breathing out slowly.

"what for? Shift's over."

"luck. In case you go ahead and decide to punch Michael. So it's doesn't hurt you much."

"not sure I will though..." he admitted quietly.

"oh, then just good luck for the night. Pub?"

"sure."

Somehow, since grace, - Josh still dreamed of her, he dreamed of every kiss, over and over, realizing they were so few, and at that point he began dreaming of kisses that could have been instead. - lucky kisses became a thing, between them at least. For amusement of the others, somehow.

"luck luck?" Lawson smiled, cupping his face and. Kissing the top of his head.

"back safe, heard me?"

"don't get shot." Josh said back, with a peck on Lawson's brows, quick and light.

"aww, that's so cute, you and Lawson giving kisses to each others." stella mused sometime later with a smile.

"is it some kind of tradition I haven't picked up yet?" Christian wondered and stella shook her head.

"nah, I think it's just the two of them being sickeningly sweet and lovey honestly."

"can we-- can we move on?"

Sometimes luck wasn't really on Josh's side no matter what happened. He fell, from the roof of the room, lost his comm, a girl shot him in the vest leaving a growing painful bruise on his chest.

Lawson was on him as soon as he stumbled out.

"sorry, sorry... It didn't seem to have worked today. Are you okay Josh?" Josh simply stared at him, oh it worked just fine, right?

"you didn't get shot. I say it worked good enough."

(he fell, crumbled on top of Lawson suddenly, half unconscious and groaning, a hand over his bruised chest.)

"birthday luck?" Lawson grinned widely, blocking Josh's path to the cars, Kerry behind them rolled her eyes. "come on, don't i deserve it?"

Josh tried to pass around but Lawson moved accordingly, the grin still there.

"come on, our lucky charm Josh..."

"laws..."

"I know, I know. The anniversary is closing on and you're sad. But what if something happens and you didn't wish me good luck?"

He knew Josh wouldn't risk it, he hated pulling that on him making it sound like--

Josh lips crashed on his. Green eyes closed, Lawson exhaled slowly when he moved away and blinked.

"well... That must get me one hell of luck. Wow."

Josh chuckled, quietly before climbing in the car.

It brought Lawson good luck, all the good luck Josh could have had for that day. For every day to come too.

Lawson bent slightly over the gurney, stopping the ambos for just a second longer, his lips brushing over the forehead and closed eyes.

"for good luck..."

He mumbled, tears threatening to fall, knowing they ran out of luck the moment they stepped out of the base that morning.

"kisses are lucky charms."

Grace said, her lips brushing against Josh's as he closed his eyes.

"I think I've ran out of luck..."

Grace smiled and held him closer.

"well, let's make our new luck then."

[aki-draws-things]

Well, here we are.... Reverse fic is finally online.

Beware, Lawson is emotionally compromised and he delivers most of the angst here... I'm sorry!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[aki-draws-things]

I've wrapped close the reverse episode fic. Now I need to check typos and missing scenes, or making some longer. I'm thinking of closing it around 4k words.

Somehow it's easier to make Lawson break down in tears than grace. She'll cry but more privately, Laws is... Heartbroken. (that's why they could be seen as love triangle. Lawson really does care. And I hope to see some cute scenes in episodes!)

Also, the ending is kind of... Hopeful. Bittersweet. Somehow heartbreaking too. It's the perfect ending.

[aki-draws-things]

Another bit of the reverse episode. I'm leaning toward one kind of ending, we'll see when I get there. For now some little fluff and a very sudden fall.

"I love you Gracie."

She sighed deeply, the memories of the minutes after the explosion still played in her head, and it didn't help how many times she brushed them off and tried to replace them with Josh, awake and talking to her, his skin warm under her touch, his breath soft on her neck. Memories still came back.

"I know. I love you too."

It seemed so quiet, the calm after a storm, their common worry for Dom mixing with the relief of being okay, safe in each other's arms.

"I love you since the moment you walked in the room and smiled."

Grace chucked, her hands wrapped on Josh back, their foreheads touching.

"didn't I slam the door in your face?" she recalled and Josh hummed.

"in my defense Lawson had just told me to behave with the new recruit. Not my fault she was so pretty I got distracted. A moment you were walking out of the windows on the corridors, the next moment--"

"you had a bloody nose and senior sergeant Blake was choking on laughter."

"yeah well... - Josh chucked softly, his lips pressing another kiss to her head. - love at first hit. Love you, did I tell you?"

"I believe you did, but I like to hear it."

"I love you Gracie."

She didn't see his face, not in the position she was in, she just listened to him saying he loved her, over and over, and smiled. Later, while sitting beside Lawson in the car, going... She forgot where, she wished she could have seen him, maybe she would have noticed earlier, maybe she could have made him sit and called ambos before he--

Josh went heavy on her, suddenly limp, all of his weight falling on top of her body as his legs gave out and he fell, dragging her down with him, eyes closed and face white.

The first thing she heard wasn't her own voice, it was Lawson's, Screaming for ambos, screaming Josh name, turning him flat on his back and frantically searching for a pulse.

How could he look so calm in the car now? Grace almost thought, except seeing his white knuckles as he held the wheel. Not so calm, just... Faking. For her sake.

"it's... It's going to be okay." Grace whispered, a hand over his arm, he nodded quickly. "both Dom and Josh. They're going to be okay."

[...]

"yep. Pretty little girl, they had. Ehy..." he patted on his arm lightly, with a little smile on his face. "when are you gonna settle down and make me a uncle?"

Lawson snorted and shook his head.

"there's a higher chance that it gets the other way around. Hopefully you've been careful with Gracie. Or were you planning on making me a uncle?"

"nah... You'd be the godfather. And yes, we've been careful."

He blinked, slowly, and took a deep breath, shifting again.

"migraine still here?"

Josh whimpered in response, leaning over the hand on his head.

"I know you'd rather have grace here instead of me. She had to go pick up Micheal and Stell. Sorry you're stuck with me mate."

Josh shook his head slowly, still smiling.

"it's good." he stretched a hand toward him, palm up, waiting for Lawson to take it, a gesture they got accustomed to, something they both found comfort in after years in that line of work and danger, grounding when one of them was low, or hurt. "I like you here too, Laws."

[popupyouthradio]

Hi! My name is Grace Barry. I am a young queer journalist from the northwest side of Chicago and I’m here with PUYR to expand my knowledge of sound design and to learn how to produce a radio show that's truly rooted in the community. I'd also really love to spend some time with PUYR talking about the neighborhoods throughout the Chicago, what makes them special and individual. In my spare time, I foster my unrelenting passion for literature, watch far too many dinosaur movies, and think about ways to smash the patriarchy.