I have a question but idk how to word it; please bear with me sdjgfh But like Merrill and being infantilized and patronized? Was this a problem even before coming to Kirkwall? The evolution of her awareness of it? The evolution of her feelings towards it? Has she ever tried to change herself to prevent it? Like, how does it affect her self-perception, and her perception of the people who do it? Does any of this change after DAII? I hope at least some of that makes sense.
this is a very specific question !! so i’m gonna keep it here instead of doing the new post thing! but anyways… it has definitely always been a problem for merrill, even more so in her clan. merrill is someone who often thinks outside the box, and thinks BIG, this – scared the keeper, and she would often talk merrill down from these idea by belittling her. the keeper believed merrill was extremely intelligent, and yet she was threatened by it – and much like with many other aspects of merrill, decided to keep them undeveloped; and, for the longest time went unnoticed.
i don’t think merrill quite understood what was happening until she was a bit older, i’m thinking more in her teenage years where she starts to grow a bit more defiant and aware of her treatment; and specifically i think she’d notice it in an argument where merrill knows she’s right. either because it’s something she’s seen with her own eyes or just something she knows i’m not sure, but the keeper challenging her and trying to convince her otherwise would be that realization to what she’s been doing all along. and i would think this would be the birth of merrill’s bitterness towards the keeper. i think, once she’s out of the clan and in kirkwall, she was hoping to be free from that kind of behavior – especially when among the group hawke has managed to create. merrill was naive enough to think them all like hawke (i always go based on a purple hawke), but she finds quickly that just because hawke had chosen them for a team doesn’t mean she is immediately accepted. this is where i think you’d see her standing up to it and for herself more often. when merrill is away from the clan, and more importantly the keeper, she feels a lot better about fighting for herself. especially since these people do not have the same “fear factor” that the keeper has, at least not to her.
as for doing anything to prevent it? i can definitely see merrill attempting to change her look or the way she talks in attempt to make herself seem a bit more… mature. but eventually she’d find it too silly and too difficult to maintain. she rather be herself, and try to hold her head high than be someone she’s not.
self-perception is…a hard one to answer. because there’s times where it doesn’t affect merrill at all, but merrill is also extremely sensitive and you tell her something long enough she’ll start to believe it. i don’t see her self perception changing too much unless she spends a lot (and i mean a lot) of personal time with someone who treats her that way. so, the da:ii team, for example? doesn’t effect her too much as she does have some allies within it (hawke, varric, isabela) – but then it hurts even more when they do it. but she doesn’t spend like…every waking moment with them so its a lot harder to change it. now, if it was a red hawke – and like everyone was telling her these things? yea, she’d believe it. it really depends on her environment and who’s around her. i hope that answers that part??
as for her perception of the people who do it – she’ll think them silly and close-minded. unable to accept the different, and stubborn, in a bad way. but she’ll always think you can learn.
as for post da-ii!! i think it does change in her adviser / keeper of a clan verse ! merrill really matures once she’s officially the leader of something, she gains so much confidence, and the trust people put in her really help heal those old wounds. merrill, by then, will always stand up for herself and would be quick to throw her accomplishments at someone when they begin to tell her she can’t. merrill grows a lot during that time! of course, she still often gets down on herself – and she takes decisions and losses very seriously – but merrill is a lot more confident than before. plus, being called keeper has earned her a lot of respect from and for people to look at her a lil different. now, they don’t see a silly grinning elf with her head in the clouds – they see a wise elf, with storms brewing in her mind….











