#grajedaerik

[grajedaerik]

Day 1 in NY

[grajedaerik]

I just had brunch with this guy from my work. I think this was the first time he and I talked one on one. It was actually a pretty cool time. I feel like I talked a lot though

By the way that was my dollar

[grajedaerik]

Home

The fact that my home life has become so intolerable that I have no choice but to move out is: sad. I went in thinking that I will be able to have this sense of independence that I got comfortable with the idea of postponing my moving out a bit longer in order to save money. Now, that is no longer the case. My father decided that I no longer have any rights to anything and I can only do as instructed and anything that I say is no longer valid.

Although, my dad may have some right in telling me what I should do it is not his right for me to take everything at face value and do as he says. I'm not one, nor will I ever be, the guy that when my dad says "Jump!" I'm going to ask "How high?". 

I don't care who you are in my life my decisions should always be my own and I will take full responsibility for them. But I will be damned to have some middle aged man dictate how MY life should be run. What's worse is that he's only doing this because of how my BROTHER has turned out. Stating that he actually has no idea who I am as a person and the man that I wish to become.

He has such a false delusion of who I am/who I'm turning out to be that he has set this plans into to motion not realizing that he is hurting me rather than helping me.

I'm just sad that, although I may love my father dearly, he is driving me away from him and never wanting to turn back and regret it. The worst part: he's never going to admit it was him to drive me away. To him: he's never in the fault. To him: it must always be someone else setting up a wedge between him and the ones he loves.

I just don't care enough to take his feelings into a count anymore. I'm leaving and never looking back.