#grandan

[missmisnomer]

𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 I'm kind of obsessed with how everyone turned out in this new style I'm trying out, so enjoy this sketch before I inevitably remove all this movement and texture in the inking process, haha ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[futuristicallycasualstrawberry]

I introduce you to GranDan

[smalltailless]

I’m going to tell you all about the greatest man I know, my Grandan.

Grandan is more than my grandfather, he has been like a father to me and my sister. He taught me so much over the years, he’s always taught me to stand up for myself (although I’m not good at it) he told me to keep my back to the wall and I’ll be fine, that hard work is the answer, and to live my life. He is the bravest man I know, but he is going soon, he has terminal cancer, and he going to leave. I’m terrified of what will happen when he goes, because he has always been there, caring for the whole family, and none of us will know what to do without him. He would work two jobs, he’d work the harvest as well as being in the army, and later being a prison officer. Sometimes he’d help  behind bars. He used to hold me and my sister over his head, one of us in each hand, right up until we were six and seven years of age. He used to tell us stories that were a mix of pirates, indiana jones, Peter Pan and treasure island. He’d trick us into cleaning out his fish pond by making it into a game. He and Nan support my writing and drawing, they even bought me my drawing tablet. He made Nan a whole kitchen from scratch, beautiful, intricate wooden cabinets and shelves with all of Nan’s favourite animals on them. 

He was a man who loved to cook, and was amazing at it. Me and my sister used to love his fry up breakfasts which we referred to as ‘Grandan’s breakfasts’ he did spectacular bbqs. He looked up new and exciting vegetarian meals just for my Nan.

He adores sports ad crime dramas, particularly NCIS. He devoured book after book after book. 

And he wasn’t a sociable bloke, he preferred to keep himself to himself, but he was happy and that is how I will remember him when he is gone. No matter what happens in my life, Grandan will always be with us.

[smalltailless]

So. My Grandan has now got weeks instead of months. He’s not in the best spirits, he’s bored and they haven’t been feeding him properly. He’s been having hallucinations and nightmares. It’s not looking good for him. 

[smalltailless]

Okay. I have to be straight with you guys, so straight that I’m not even going to make a joke about my sexuality (sorry, I cover sadness with crappy humour)

My Grandan is ill, really really ill. He has cancer in three places, and he is going to die. Myself and the family are all extremely upset, because Grandan is more than a grandfather, he is our grandan, the most intelligent, brilliant and brave man in our lives. He has acted as a surrogate father for myself and my sister, he has protected us, raised us, and taught us. He has raised two of his own children as well, my mother, and uncle, who are excellent. My Nan is worried, understandably. At some point, I may post some sad things, or some happy memories, if you wish to block this, I will be using #Grandan as that is the name that me and my sister always use for him (because when we were little, we thought he was Grandan, and not Grandad) I am sorry if this is inconvenient, but this is a personal blog, and Grandan is the one man I am not scared of, and I am not sure yet how I will react when he is gone, all I know is that this hurts a lot, and that None of us are ready to see him go.

[yaksmacker]

Love is not visible. It is not physical. So it does not cast a shadow. So when we love. We Love the soul of the person you love not the physical. It doesn't matter if the person is big or small. The size of souls is eternal. Like a triangle. We are always in a love triangle. Our love gets sent up to God and is purified, then sent down to our love. We become connected through the power of God. And create a space for both to flourish and be nurtured and loved. That's what love is. So when you find it. Hold onto it. that's what my grandad told me tonight. Because that's the realest. . And I love him and all his madness #grandan #realness101 #spiritjourneys One thing though; we have to find it within first.