Things Said In The Livestream pt. 2
“Okay but also scalpel dildo guys.” “Don’t kinkshame me in my own home.” “I love how Clint saved his bow and arrow over, you know, Natasha.” “You gotta be aerodynamic.” “Someone told me that he saw Hawkeye in the shower. He said that Hawkeye was shredded.” “I am the most expert at sinning.” “Hey, hey! Stranger danger!” “Why is that kid posing? He’s like put me on a billboard, please.” “It’s not gay if you’re fired.” “We have to go back they’re vintage lilac!” “They put it on setting ten.” “I’m a science major and you’re watching Disney Channel.” “Now I can’t stop imagining Clint in thigh high platform heels.” “Who’s Power Bottom?” “Dildo Kid is emo.” “My Zodiac, the Clint.” “Age of Ultron didn’t happen.” “Can you imagine him taking these pictures and being like Yes. Good.” “Can you imagine Natasha watching this from the tower and being like Fucking Hell.” “He has beautiful arms.” “Hawkeye, stop being a little shit.” “Sparkle... Sparkle... Sparkle Clint.” “Iron-Man is ironing?” “The husbands got so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t notice the enemy right in front of them.” “Hawkeye... Possibly... Canadian?” “Oh look it’s Cry-perion!” “It’s a reference to a movie that no one has watched and no one will ever will ever watch because it’s sin.” “He’s gonna rip out his boob!” “Woah. What a sore winner you are, Tony.” “No one wants to play dodgeball with Tony because he never takes off the fucking suit.” “I’m some of your best stuff. MMM!” “Yeah. You worry about that missile.” “Well, I forgot my car battery. Lemme go back to the house.” “Lemme go back to Ass-Gard!” “We can’t handle your attitude, though!” “Oh yeah. Prepare for Tony to be a little bitch. Like always.” “I always pull Starks. All the time.” “Shall I play the T. Swift song?” “You used to call me via cellular device.” “Oh my god, it’s Cornhub!” “Hey can you give me the vintage lilac ones? You mean the purple? No. The vintage lilac.” “They actually know his name is Star Lord?” “Hulk getting pissed like What do you mean this is incredible? I’m incredible!” “This is gonna sound weird, but why didn’t Steve recognize that hole?” “He’s like I’m the only one wearing half gloves. Everyone else will get splinters.” “Gamora looks like a Homestuck.” “Get your hands off the glass, Clint! Someone has to clean that!” “Now Sam Wilson is doing it! God, you’re such a bad role model!” “I can’t believe I just heard an alien saying What’s your damage, Clint?” “When a tree drags you back for more.” “It’s like Cap is having an argument with himself.” “Anything that’s purple belongs to Clint.” “Just keep slandering the word lava.” “Why don’t villains just kill Tony Stark? Like, not that I’m complaining, but...” “That’s not style, that’s called being an asshole.” “Sometimes it scares me because I can’t see Clint’s eyes.” “Hulks such a mean tree puncher.” “How is he not on the Green Team? He’s green!” “Wow. I can’t believe Hulk is fucking dead.” “AntMan has no nose.” “ROASTED.” “Just because you don’t have a mom doesn’t mean you can be a dick about it.” “Relatable.” “Oh, it’s Clifford the Big Red Boot.” “Why does AntMan have eyeliner?” “Did he just yell Raybands?” “I’m gay for Tony Stark, Mom.” “Sorry your hammer shrunk... The hammer is his penis!” “He was gonna make a blowjob joke... In front of Sam’s mom.” “He’s flirting with Sam’s mom.” “It’s Hawkeye’s backstory!” “Et tu, Bruto?” “Next you’re gonna ask me my Bra size!” “Clint! Prostitution is never the answer.” “Ew feelings.” “It’s because I chose these vintage lilac sunglasses over my friends.” [Screaming in pain over Hawkeye] “I can’t believe you betrayed the circus, Clint. Got those vintage lilac glasses...” “Look, Clint! This is how good you could have it if you didn’t have trust issues!” “Doing what’s right! Slams Hawkeye. I feel better.” “Clint has been wanting to do that for years!” “It just fell off. Super powers, you know.” “That girl must have really strong thighs.” “Wow. I love American Horror Freakshow.” “Take out a globe and show me where I asked. Was it the Bermuda-I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck-Triangle.” “Is it Luigi and Red Luigi?” “In a sudden turn of events, they censored Russia.” “Okay, who’s the real princess, Tony?” “You know he’s an Avenger because he wears vintage lilac glasses.” “Wow. You’re making great progress there, Mr. Potato.” “Oh he holds his hand lovingly.” “I want Hawkeye to be my Daddy.” “She has a thing with Optimus Prime.” “I would pay for Black Widow to beat me up... And then I would say thank you.” “Why is RedSkull still a villain? Why is he still here?” “Hawkeye has two quivers.” “Wow. He looks just like IronMan... A huge asshole.” “And his name is... CLINT BARTON.” [John Cena Theme] “It’s like they all had a bake sale and Hyperion brought nothing.” “I can’t believe Tony Stark is fucking dead.” “Dracula is like You so healthy. How you do it man?” “And Hawkeye is like Carrots. I eat lots of carrots.” “Hulk and I are the same person.” “Tony, why are you wearing sunglass? Because our future is so bright together!” “Oh no. Not those places.” “Hulk is confirmed for Anakin Skywalker!” “He’s playing Just Dance. It helps with Team Synchronization.” “Wait. Does Hawkeye have his driver’s license?” “The aliens are coming back for Hulk... And the pyramids!” “Whatever. Daredevil wouldn’t have a problem.” “Hulk wears your granddad’s clothes. Hulk looks incredible.” “Hyperion’s like I’m not gonna talk to you. My mom says I don’t have to talk to bullies.” “They just go up and stab Stark, Caesar style.” “The Tessa-Rekt.” “God Hulk. Say it, don’t spray it.” “Yeah, my first shield was a napkin I stole from a bar!” “Aw that’s cute. He caressed his cheek... And then he stole his soul.” “I’ve evolved to the point that I can suck my own dick!” “Hawkeye’s just like vintage lilac! To me!” “Did you just say it’s easy to have a daddy kink?!” “Don’t talk about my daddy issues. That’s not out in the open.” “I love how she turns to him like bitch...” “Yaoi hands!” “I’ll just stick to flirting with the entire human resources department.” “Jacking off = Carpal Tunnel.” “You just got learning halled.” “Wow that looks basically unsafe.” “I am also basically unsafe.” “The stone is the powerhouse of the cell!” “Look they can all be furries.” “But then who’ll kinkshame them?” “My dad built me a robot friend ‘cuz I had none. Not even him.” “Look at Clint falling. What a majestic motherfucker.” “Okay, Arsenal’s more of a dick than Clint.” “Yiff the robot, Tony!” “Oh my god, it’s blueberry flavored Redskull!” “Lick his baby head.” “Lick my reeds, Senpai.” “Clint, I get you’re trying to be helpful, but you’re just standing there holding one arrow.” “We are the Crystal Lenses.” “Get in the fucking robot, Clint.” “Is my armor on straight? Yeah, but you sure aren’t.” “Excuse me. You’re being rude to the illegal immigrant.” “Could you imagine being on a romantic dinner and being like Oh honey your eyes are so beautiful. You know what’s more beautiful? THE HULK.” “I bet Hawkeye dresses up for the Renaissance Faire.” “Turn him back! No one like Banner!” “I can play the trumpet, too!” [Shitty trumpet noises] “Huge bones. With guns. Gunbones.” “It’s Mr.Steal-Yo-Wings!” “I was a seagull once.” “She’s gonna read the Bee Movie to him!” “Shows up 15 minutes late with starbuck(y)s.” “I’m a stereotypical spoon.” “Aw look at them cuddling. Let’s electrocute them.” “Oh suddenly Batman.” “HE NYOOM.” “He gets free guac at Chapotle.” “Shoves Guac up my asset.” “He’s still wearing his glasses!” “I just can’t fucking believe Hawkeye at this point.” “If you can dodge a gutwretch, you can dodge a dodgeball.” “Ah yes. Heatseeker. Seek heat.” “Undyne x Hawkeye... Hawkeye bottoms.” “Hey, how much of a douchebag can I be? How about instead of sunglasses inside, sunglasses underwater. Try beating that.” “For porn. We just need your satellite for porn.” “Welp, that’s enough sinning for tonight.” “I’m the only top in a world of bottoms.” “I have a PhD in throwing arrows in water.” “Listen, Boys. Your bitchfest is over.” “Clint grew up in the circus. Did they have a prom?” [T-Rex Noises] “Taking down T-Rexs. He has a PhD in that.” “Everyone wants rocket heeleys, but the law wont allow that.” “Why is everyone letting a seven year old use power tools?” “Oh! Imagine that! She went from English to Batshit crazy!”
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