#grayvibes

[oliver-hawthorn]

You were the only person that ever

Took pictures of me that I liked;

Where I looked both like myself and

Where I looked loved at the same time.

I will mourn you and

Everything you were too afraid to know.

I'm sorry.

[oliver-hawthorn]

I am tired of holding space in me

For you to come home to;

I've met a million foggy mornings

That held me more tender.

You are more afraid of living

Than I have ever been afraid to die;

Of course you assume this grave in me

Will be waiting, here, for you-

Cold and open and yawning like I've

Only been sleeping in your absence, after all.

Go, hold the warm hands of every living stranger.

Go dance with pretty faces whose names you'll forget in a few months

Go fuck away at every willing hole you find;

Eventually you'll find the one in you.

You value the potential in

Every girl you've never met

More than whatever you tell yourself we ever were.

Go find some other hole to die in

I have enough dead friends.

[oliver-hawthorn]

Hello.

Do you drink soda?

Which do you like?

Don't mind me, no,

What music do you like?

I'm cutting a hole here, in me,

It's not a problem, really.

You just seemed like maybe

You needed a place to be, for a while.

What do you play?

Do you like to cook?

I hope it's warm enough.

I know you won't need it forever,

But I feel like if I don't make it

Just right,

You won't remember me when you go.

[oliver-hawthorn]

Model magic and clay

And paste that hasn't dried yet, might never

I convince myself every new moment

That you're worth changing for

Break bone and tie artery

Bow tie blood vessels together

Be pretty, be pretty,

Someday I will shape shift wrong

And you will see bleeding monster

Instead of hand crafted angel

And I will tell you to not be afraid

It's a gift,

Afterall.

You were you were you were you were

And I knew it.

[oliver-hawthorn]

Best Friend asks, a mile into the hike,

If my hip is feeling okay.

I laugh, and say I'm doing fine,

And Best Friend smiles wide, says he's glad,

We can turn around or stop whenever I need to,

I know he means it,

I know he always means it,

So I smile back, and we keep going.

Best Friend calls me "Good Boy"

When I drink enough water,

"Beautiful" when we fuck;

After, he apologizes six times

For dislocating my rib, halfway through-

Which makes me laugh at him,

And then laugh at how the laughing hurt-

He has always been sweet to me.

He still asks before he kisses me,

He always asks if I'm okay,

Or if there's anything that I wasnt

Comfortable with.

We can stop or turn around

Whenever I need to.

I know he means it, so,

After,

I wash him with sweet smelling soaps,

Massage conditioner into his hair,

Tell him I love him, in all my own ways.

I feed him, make him open wide,

Pull the food away

When he tries to bite down before I say so.

He laughs, asks if he's being trained, now;

He calls me "Good Boy"

When I drink enough water, so

I say yes, and smile wide.

[mymmalifeblog]

Aiuda.... Hace frío ❄💔 . . . . . #workoutoftheday #grayvibes #crossfit #crosstraining #gymgirl #strongwomen #strongissexy #dontgiveup (en WR Dojo) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKT-5jDpXnDdwL1Qg_mVEttO0JI0gMiYWIBMy80/?igshid=dxedhjehdws2

[fashionink3dsuicide]

Off work yum.... #nike gear #gym time to hit legs #fitnessaddict #grayvibes .. I 👀 u (at Los Angeles, California)