What could be cuter than a mini piglet? As it turns out, lots.
When you hear the phrase "mini piglet", you probably picture something like this:
Ceeeee-ute! Well the good people at Greenridge Farms want you think of something else. Something a little more boneless, a little more featureless, a little more nightmarish. Kinda half piglet, half tumor. Behold, the 'Greenridge Farm, Banguet [sic], Mini Piglet':
You can find these things at costco or chasing you through your worst dreams. I guess you roast it like you would a suckling pig and serve it to your guests when you have blind people over for dinner. I don't quite understand how it isn't just Spam in the shape of a piglet/puppy. Does your knife effortlessly course through this thing like it would through a huge hot dog or did they somehow engineer it to have a degree of 'toughness' to it? Maybe a fake skin or strategically placed gristle or something. I can't tell which would be worse.
Honestly, all grossness aside (which certainly isn't to say this thing isn't gross), I kinda really wanna try one of these little guys. I won't be able to make it home for christmas this year and plan on celebrating with my buddy Tony, a fellow relocated Ohioan who also isn't making the trek back to the buckeye state. Hopefully I can talk him into celebrating the birth of sweet little baby jesus by eating yuletide synthetic piglet with me.