Why do I hide from the rain || Dot (nice thoughts challenge)
Five nice things about myself.
When Dot was nominated by Ricky, it had brought a smile to her face. Everything about this challenge made her smile: it was nice to see a positive force in Tulsa for once, nice to remember how much she loved it. She had tucked the note away and exuded light for the rest of the day.
Then she'd gone back to an empty house, to the home she'd made with one of her best friends. Made herself dinner, brushed her teeth, tidied up, checked the messaged. Found a notepad and pen, ready to write down the five things she would say. And came up with nothing. She'd stayed up until the early hours of the morning, unable to stop trying to think of something that she liked. It should be easier than this, yet everything she thought of seemed tainted by something she had done, or she managed to twist it into something undesirable: Loyal, but she hadn't been. I don't like hurting people, and yet she'd hurt them. Thoughtful, but overly so. Listens to people, too quiet.
In all honesty, she wasn't used to being a part of these trends. She was used to slipping through the cracks, used to sneaking around with Fletcher so much that they stopped noticing, or lying to the ones that did about why she wasn't there, why she hadn't taken part. And there was a part of Dot that liked the safety of that.
But there was another part of her that was tired of it, and that was the part that she focused on as she walked to work the next morning with a slight detour, still at just as much of a loss for what she would say as the night before. She ducked into Juliet's, smiling nervously around the place as her fingers played with the hem of her shirt.
"Hi," she started, voice somewhat meek against the current chatter of the café, and no one paid any mind. She gritted her teeth, raising her voice louder. "Um- hey. Everyone." Still nothing. Only the man standing next to her took notice. She grimaced, stuffing her hands in her pockets and preparing to give up when the man's shoot boomed through the café - "Oi!". Almost everyone turned, and the man shot Dot a kind smile which she hesitantly returned. "This girl's got somethin' ta say."
"Thanks," she whispered to him, before raising her voice again. "Hi, everyone. I, um, I was challenged by Ricky Jacobs to say five nice things about myself in public... So, if this is annoying, take it up with him." she smiled half-heartedly, deciding to latch on to the most obvious thing. "One. I'm a really good cook. It's what I love doing and... yeah." she trailed off, floundering.
She stood there frozen for a moment, no idea what to say, what was good about herself. The people in the café looked on in bemusement as she stood there like a goldfish. Why was this so hard? It would've been easier if she could say five nice things about someone else - hell, she could list 30 nice things about anyone she knew without so much as a second thought.
"Two," she swallowed, starting again. "I see the best in other people. Even if we're not friends, even if we don't get along... I don't think there's a person in this town that I couldn't say something nice about."
"Three, I'm a real fast runner. When I was thirteen I could beat Rodney in a race." she smiled fondly, getting into the swing of this. "Four, my dad tells me that I look like my mother, and even though I never met her, I know she was really beautiful. And," she took a deep breath, pausing for a moment. "I'm scared of a lotta things, but I'm not afraid to care about people. And I'm not afraid to tell them, either. I'm pretty sure everyone I love knows it, and they know that I'm there to help them no matter what."
Dot's smile had been growing as she'd spoken, wider and wider until it was an all out grin. She'd finished. Even more good things about her were swirling in her mind, and she felt so light."Okay - well, um - I'm done. Oh, and I nominate... Tyler Briggs, Rodney Dodger, and Fle-... Griffin Walters." She'd almost forgotten that she couldn't mention Fletcher, but she resolved to nominate him anonymously anyway. She smiled warmly at those who had listened to her before glancing at the watch on her wrist and realising that it was almost time for her to be at work. "Shoot, I gotta go. I hope y'all have a good day."
