She very nearly told him how very little company and conversation she'd ever had with Hest. Loyalty tied her tongue, or perhaps shame. She teetered on the unpleasant realization that Hest had so completely silenced her. Even out of his presence, he restricted her words.
caught between the urge to complain and the embarrassment of having a terrible relationship in the first place. been there!
Leftrin's attentions to her had taken her completely by surprise. They had made her uncomfortable at first, and even suspicious. But in the last day, she had become convinced his admiration of her was sincere. She could not deny the thrill of pleasure that went through her at the thought of this rough, masculine river captain finding her attractive. He was so unlike any other man she had ever met. His company made her feel that she was truly adventurous, even reckless in undertaking this trip. At the same time, his evident strength and competence made her feel safe. She had indulged herself in his company, telling herself that it was only for a short time and that she had no intention of being unfaithful to Hest. She only wished to enjoy, for a time, that a man found her pretty.
Then Sedric had reacted to him in a way that she could only construe as protective. It had shocked her. And stirred to new life her ancient childhood infatuation with him. Even before he had blossomed into such a gloriously handsome man, he had fascinated her. He'd paid attention to her when no other boy would have looked at her, with her wild red hair and thick freckles and flat bosom. He'd been kind. Oh, how she had dreamed of him, her best friend's big brother, being more than kind to her. She'd twined their initials on her lesson papers, and stolen one of his riding gloves. It had smelled like him, and she both blushed and laughed to recall how she had kept it under her pillow and smelled it every evening before she went to sleep.
do you remember what i said about alise needing an ao3 account?
she is so smart and determined, but there’s an insane amount of sensuality bottled inside her. someone ought to tell her about the joys of masturbation
She had come to enjoy the picturesque members of the crew, right down to the affectionate Grigsby. She'd never had a cat as a pet, but she was rapidly becoming fond of the beast. She'd wondered what Hest might say to such a request, then suddenly resolved not to make it. She'd simply get herself a cat. That was all. It was strange, she thought, how a little rough living made her feel so much more in control of her life. So capable of making her own decisions.
her proper shell is cracking. alise i know you want to leave hest and sail away with your two favorite hunks (one of which is sleeping with your husband) for ever and ever and ever
