wench

[queenaegon]

screen name: cedar

pronouns: she/her

i like a song of ice and fire, fire & blood, and a knight of the seven kingdoms. i also post (and often complain) about their television adaptations. mostly i just reblog cool fan art.

while i wait for winds of winter, i liveblog my way through robin hobb’s “realm of the elderlings” series. i do not tag spoilers because i am lazy! pérdoneme.

personal blog: @cedarstreetblues

also i am an adult

[halidki]

shireen baratheon

[valtsv]

my problem is if i enjoy something enough i will be nitpicking. i Will have things to say about where and how it failed. out of nothing but love straight from my heart. unfortunately this often makes me indistinguishable from a hater who has never experienced joy or kindness. such is the amateur critic's burden.

[valtsv]

all of my favourite things are like beautiful racehorses that trip over their own feet a hundred times. but they get back up again. and goddamn, you should see them run.

[harritudur]

to reach safely his brother's camp in enemy & war-torn territory, Maekar must disguise himself as a (high class) whore 🌺🗡️

[fractalradio]

fitzchivalry farseer

[witchyhagz]

Day 3: Quotes | Elia Martell & Aegon Targaryen

“We will not be alone. Dorne will join us, must join us. Prince Aegon is Elia's son as well as Rhaegar's”

──for @eliaweek done by novaakuin

[salmonhere]

the woe

[salmonhere]

the white wolf

[queenaegon]

dragon antics

"You're right about that. I saw the silver snuggling up to the barge last night, as if it were another dragon. It's not there this morning, so maybe it figured it out. Still. Not very intelligent. But I doubt that the Cassarick Council will allow us to leave any dragons behind," Tats said.

leftrin’s “wizardwood” modifications are almost as egregious as sedric’s poaching. won’t be long now until they’re both in hot water. or river water i guess. or a dragon’s belly.

but also…it was already established that the tarman is the oldest liveship, so perhaps that would explain it. but wouldn’t tats know that? i thought it was widespread knowledge that wizardwood is dead dragon placenta or whatever. but he is tattooed and new to the rain wilds, so maybe not.

The dragon regarded her in silence. Without moving, she seemed to come closer to Alise. Alise was flooded with a mawkish love for the creature. If only she could spend all her days in service to the dragon, she would be happy. She had been right to come to the Rain Wilds, and if she did not accompany this dragon up the river, all of her life would have been a meaningless tragedy. Skymaw was her destiny. No other relationship could fulfill her as this one—

As abruptly as a dropped doll hits the floor, Alise jolted back to the summer day on the riverbank. "They're bringing the food," the dragon announced suddenly, and Alise actually felt the creature dismiss her. It had been a glamour. The dragon had been toying with her. She could not deny it, and she should have felt shamed to have fallen under her charm so easily. Instead she felt only a wretched longing to regain Skymaw's attention. It echoed unpleasantly how Hest had once made her feel…

jesus. everyone in the world seems willing to push alise away and manipulate her. no wonder she fell in love with the first man who was kind to her :(

From Detozi, Keeper of the Birds, Trehaug

To Erek, Keeper of the Birds, Bingtown

A copy of the contract between the Rain Wild Council of Cassarick and Captain Leftrin of the liveship Tarman, including a binder concerning Alise Kincarron Finbok, Dragon Scholar of Bingtown, with the suggestion that a copy of this document be retained in the Council Records for Alise Kincarron Finbok. A detailed accounting of the expenses involved will follow.

well, it’s set in stone, now. so no one can drag alise back without serious consequences.

also: what’s up with these guys? some of their correspondence is plot-relevant, but not all of it. and then we saw them get a written warning at work.

It had pleased her, too, to be the only dragon with two attendants hovering around her. Now it seemed that both of them had defected to the mindless silver dragon, a prospect that was very distasteful to her. It had been pleasant to feel the vibrations of jealousy between the two women as they vied for her attention. Thymara had taken great pleasure in bringing her that fish, a pleasure that was rooted not only in serving the dragon but in serving her better than Alise could. Sintara had been looking forward to nudging them into sharper competition. She noted their current cooperation with displeasure and felt insulted that they now seemed as solicitous of the silver dragon as they had been of her. Alise's useless male companion had joined them as well.

sintara being cunty (in both senses of the word) as usual. i also love the “useless male companion” bit. dragon queens are great to read about but i’m glad they’re not real

also, i’ve been drawing a lot of comparison between thymara and alise. i’m sure hobb did that on purpose, otherwise she wouldn’t have put them in each other’s path.

"I don't need a keeper," she informed him.

"Of course not. None of us do. Nevertheless, I wouldn't allow anyone to take mine from me. He's very satisfactory. You have no-ticed, of course, that the leader of the humans has chosen me to tend. He says it is because they have recognized me as the leader of the dragons."

"Have they? How nice for you. What a pity that none of the dragons has!"

…

"A queen like you? So, even then, there were dragons with no wings?"

"I have teeth." She opened her jaws wide, reminding him.

the dragons can be so funny. they vacillate between treating the humans like trash and treating them like their prized possession. dingbats.

"Sylve. Stay beside me. The rest of you, go away. This does not concern you. It does not concern humans at all."

Thymara could almost see the girl drawn to the dragon. His voice was compelling, deep as darkness and rich as cream. Sylve walked to him and leaned against him as if taking comfort and strength from him.

…

There was a subtle force to his words; Thymara felt not just dismissed but pushed, as if she were a child being ushered out of a sickroom. Without deciding to do so, she turned and found herself walking away. "I have to check on Skymaw," she explained to Tats, as if to excuse her departure.

"I felt it, too," he whispered.

it’s cool to see the dragons developing, especially their magic. but also concerning. not all the dragons will use it for good, i’m sure.

"Sintara." Behind her, Mercor spoke the name. A shiver ran down Thymara's spine, a sudden knowing she couldn't deny. His rich voice vibrated through her. "The dragon you serve is named Sintara. I know her true name, and I know she owes it to you. So have it."

Thymara had halted in her tracks. Beside her, Tats paused, looking at her with a puzzled face. She felt as if her ears were blocked, her eyes dimmed.A storm raged somewhere, just beyond her senses. Sintara was not pleased with what Mercor had done, and she was letting him know it.

Mercor laughed humorlessly. "You can't have it both ways, Sin-tara. The rest of us realized that right away. None of us has held back our names, save those poor souls who cannot remember that they have proper dragon names."

having their real names is a great power as well. i’m sure not all of the keepers will use that knowledge for good, either.

[queenaegon]

i haven’t seen the full hotd trailer yet but i must say that black aly looks so sexxxxyyyyy

[queenaegon]

i made ONE comment expressing my reservations about widespread GLP-1 use on tiktok and now the “i hate fat bitches” brigade is at my doorstep

[queenaegon]

thymara’s boy drama part1/???

Ever since they'd left Trehaug, he'd slept as close to her as she would allow him. One morning she'd awakened to find him snuggled up against her back, his arm around her waist and his head pillowed against her. The warmth had been welcome, but not the awakening to sniggers. Kase and Boxter had teased them relentlessly. Rapskal had grinned rakishly but uncertainly; she suspected he wasn't quite sure what the joke was. She'd resolutely ignored them. She told herself that Rapskal's need to be near her had more to do with a kitten's desire to sleep close to something familiar than any amorous intent. There was no attraction between them. Not that she would have acted on it if there had been. What was forbidden was forbidden. She knew that. They all knew that.

But she wondered if they all accepted it as deeply as she did.

rapskal is freaking me out because he’s described as being so intensely childlike, but he’s also clearly in the running in thymara’s love (lust?) quadrangle. so what’s up with that

but also, no, thymara, no one gives a fuck anymore except you. these teens have been banned from romance (and fucking) their whole lives and now they’re ready to throw caution to the wind

As Thymara rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she tried not to notice who slept adjacent to whom, nor to wonder what any of it meant. After all, everyone had to sleep somewhere. If Jerd always spread her blankets next to Tats, it could simply mean that she felt safe sleeping beside him. And if Greft always found an excuse to try to engage her in talk when the others were getting ready to sleep, it might mean only that he thought she was intelligent.

She watched Sedric's eyes dart from Greft to Tats, and suddenly knew he was wondering just who was in charge here. Of her. She felt a flush of anger at both of them. It made her sharp. "Thank you, Tats, but I said I'd do it and I will. I don't need anyone's help. Or permission."

she’s right to be pissed off because all the boys/men in her vicinity are stupid as fuck at least 50% of the time.

Thymara had met him only briefly, but she already liked him. He was a man who worked. It showed on his weathered face and capable hands, and even on his worn clothing. He looked at her directly when he spoke to her, and even when he had first met the dragon keepers, he hadn't flinched at the sight of them. It was too soon for her to say she trusted him, but she doubted that he would deliberately deceive anyone. She valued that.

oy vey. you know, leftrin is almost certainly not a love interest for her, but i kind of cringe whenever thymara has a positive opinion of a man because then i think another complication is being added to her life. he’s definitely a big fat liar though

The keepers, including Thymara, had hastened to their small boats and followed. She had hoped to be paired with Tats. It had been a selfish hope; he was well muscled and experienced with small bats and she knew he would do his share of the work and perhaps more. Jerd had been waiting at the shore, standing by one of the small boats. She waved cheerily at Tats as they arrived and called out to him, "I've already loaded your rucksack, slowcoach. Let's go! Your green dragon was one of the first ones into the water."

"Sorry, Thymara,"Tats had muttered, red-faced.

are tats and jerd already fucking? because if so, that was quick. but i guess they are a bunch of teens starved for love and affection. whatever. i just wish thymara would acknowledge whatever the hell is going on between them (herself and tats, that is).

"Are you scared?" Rapskal sounded delighted at the prospect.

When she glanced over her shoulder at him, he turned his wide grin on her. When he smiled, all his strangeness seemed to melt away and he became simply a very handsome Rain Wild youth. She still shook her head at his challenge.

"Yes. I am scared," she replied firmly." And we are not going out into the current. Not until I'm better at managing this boat."

But suddenly, partnering with Rapskal instead of Tats did not seem such a poor trade.

because he’s hot?? girl get it together

The others traded off partners in their boats, but no one else ever offered to partner with Rapskal. Several of the other keepers had expressed interest in sharing a boat with her. Warken had asked her, and Harrikin. Sylve had suggested twice that they might travel together the next day. But each morning, there was Rapskal, sitting expectantly in the boat by the shore, waiting for her. She had thought of partnering with someone else, knowing that if she did someone would be forced to share a boat with him. But so far, she hadn't. Part of it was that they moved a boat very well together. And part of it was that his good nature and optimism were cheering to her at a time when she felt very much alone. Conversations with him might be odd and wandering, but he was not the lackwit that some of the others seemed to think he was. He simply came at life from a different angle. That was all.

are people avoiding him purely because he’s annoying? that seems unlikely, but again, things are pretty clique-y at the moment. still seems odd that even sylve won’t give him a chance. he seems sweet, if nothing else.

As plainly as if she had spoken the words aloud, Thymara saw that the girl was infatuated with the tattooed boy. It almost made her laugh, except that it was so disturbing. Sylve could not have been more than twelve, even if her pink-scaled scalp and copper eyes made her seem older. Didn't she know how hopeless it was for a girl like her to have a crush on someone like Tats? She could never have him; she could never have anyone, any more than Thymara could. What was she thinking?

But Thymara knew the answer to that, too. She wasn't thinking atall. Only yearning after a handsome young man who'd shown her kindness and made nothing of her differences. Thymara couldn't fault her. Hadn't she felt the same, sometimes?

Didn't she now?

She must have been looking at him strangely, because Tats suddenly flushed and said, "I wanted to help. There wasn't much I could do for the little copper one anyway. So I decided to put my time here.”

“didn’t she now?” and what do u mean by that. is a 12yo having a crush on your friend really going to be the impetus for thymara acknowledging her crush on tats?

As Leftrin watched the youths who should have been discarded as infants, he almost doubted the wisdom of the old ways. They seemed vigorous enough, if strange to look upon. He wished them well, boys and girls alike, and yet he hoped he would not see romance blossom. Allowing such folk to breed would go against every Rain Wild tradition. So far, he had seen no indication that any of the girls would allow such a transgression. He hoped it would remain so, even as he uneasily wondered if he had any responsibility to enforce the Rain Wild rules against them mating. "Well, Tarman, no one told me that was part of the contract. I know it's everyone's duty to honor the rules that keep us alive. But my grandpa used to tell me that everyone's job was nobody's job. So maybe I won't be blamed if I don't take that task on."

lol leftrin it is too late. i’m glad to know more people are questioning the rules, though. thymara seems to be the only one explicitly holding on to them

[queenaegon]

alise and leftrin being lovesick fools

The bedding smelled sweet, of the cologne that Alise Finbok wore, but also of Alise herself. He rolled his face into the pillow and breathed deeply of her scent. Then he grinned at his own foolishness.

…

And again, her errant thoughts had circled back to him, to the very man who was at the root of all her problems.

No. That wasn't fair. She couldn't blame him. It was her own fault she was so taken with him. Oh, she knew he was infatuated with her; he was an honest soul. He hid nothing from her. His affection for her and interest in her were conveyed in every glance, in every word he spoke to her. An accidental touch of his hand against hers was like a leap of lightning from earth to sky. Feelings, physical sensations she had thought long vanished from her life, were awakening violently and rolling through her like ground-shaking thunder.

Last night, when he had been showing her how to refasten the bowline, she had feigned incompetence at the simple knot. It was a schoolgirl's trick, but the poor, honest man had been completely deceived. He'd stood behind her, with her in the circle of his arms and taken her hands in his to guide them through the easy motions. Heat had flushed through her, and her knees had actually trembled at his closeness. A wave of dizziness had washed through her; she had wanted to collapse to the deck and pull him down on top of her. She'd gone still in his loose embrace, praying to every god she'd ever heard of that he would know what she so hotly desired and act on it. This, this was what she was supposed to feel about the man she was joined to, and had never felt at all!

"Do you understand it now?" he'd asked her huskily. His hands on hers pulled the knot firm.

"I do," she'd replied. "I understand it completely now." She hadn't been speaking of knots at all.

…

“…Please, come back here where we can discuss this quietly."

She didn't want to. "Discuss what?"

"You,” he said in a soft voice. "You and Captain Leftin" For a time, she stood frozen. There was a hubbub of voices on the shore. She glanced that way and saw Leftrin hastening toward the group. Then she turned back and, wearing her calmest expression, walked back toward Sedric. "I don't understand," she offered him, trying to sound puzzled. Trying to keep breathing, to keep the blood from rushing to her face.

…

"Shut up."The harshness of her own voice shocked her, as did the bluntness of her words. She couldn't recall that she'd ever spoken to anyone like that. It didn't matter. It had worked to silence him. He stared at her, his mouth slightly ajar. The words tumbled from her lips, boulders carried on a torrent. "What I already have, Sedric, is nothing, It's a sham of Hest's devising, one I agreed to because I could not imagine that there would ever be anything better. Our marriage is a travesty. But I'm aware that I agreed to it. I took his damn bargain; we shook hands on it, like good Traders, and I've lived up to my end of it. Far more than he has, I might add. And I will continue to live up to my word. But don't, do not, ever, compare Leftrin to Hest. Never."

…

“…Can you truly say that if he pressed you, you'd be able to say no to him?"

"He wouldn't do that." Her voice grated low. No matter how much she longed for him to, he wouldn't press her. She knew that.

…

She knew he was lying. Leftrin hadn't been on the point of agreeing to anything. The current that had caught them was sweeping them together, not apart.

i honestly thought leftrin would be put off by the fact that she’s married, but i’m glad he isn’t. i’m just waiting for her to find an acceptable loophole somewhere in the millions of clauses they put in their wedding contract. or maybe he’ll die :)

[queenaegon]

sedric wtf: part 1/???

"It's fine, Alise," he said, and he tried not to sound brusque. She thought his feelings were hurt because he couldn't communicate with the animal. And she felt sorry for him. The thought almost made him smile, and his heart softened toward her. How many years had he felt sorry for her? It was odd to be on the receiving end of her pity. Odd and strangely touching that she'd care if his feelings were hurt.

part of me believes he’s a genuine friend to alise, but then i read a paragraph like this and wonder if that’s true at all. he looks out for her but in very patronizing way. and it feels like this goes deeper than roteverse-typical misogyny.

Dreams that had slowly shaped themselves inside his heart for the past four years clamored to be free. With this money, he could take Hest and they could leave Bingtown. They could go south, to Jamaillia, no, beyond Jamaillia, to lands he knew only as exotic names. There were places where two men could live as they wished to live, without questions, without condemnation or scandal. The money these scraps of dragon flesh would bring him would carry the two of them to those places, far from their families and their histories. It would buy them a future without secrets.

He scarcely dared to taste the thought that followed. It would buy him a future in which he and Hest were on an equal footing. For far too long he'd been completely dependent on Hest financially. The inequity had intruded more and more cruelly into their relationship. Hest was no longer merely assertive; he'd become cruelly dominant of late. If Sedric had a fortune of his own, perhaps Hest would give him more respect.

lolll as if hest would ever want to be on equal footing with his lover. they’re not social equals and that’s part of the draw for him. that’s what he wants.

"Hest is with you when he can be." Sedric sounded uncertain, probably because he knew he was lying. "He's a Trader, Alise. You know that means he must travel. If he doesn't travel, he can't find the special goods that bring in the prices that allow him to provide you with the life you have."

…

Sedric cleared his throat and moved away from her. "I've known Hest a long time," he said stiffly. "He's not a bad person, Alise. He's just—" He halted and she saw him searching for a word.

alise is confirming what sedric already knows, and that’s why his denial pisses me off so badly.

Hest. Oh, Hest. What have we done to her? What cruelty have I been a party to?

Hest's hard hands.

He didn't want to think about it yet he could not stop himself from thinking about it. He didn't want to envision Hest's hands on Alise. He knew that Hest must be with her, that he must do his best to father a child with her. He'd chosen never to think of the mechanics of that, never to wonder if Hest was tender and passionate with her. He didn't want to know, didn't want his feelings stirred about such things. What would it matter? It had nothing to do with Hest and him.

But he'd never imagined Hest would be harsh with her, or rough. But of course he would be. That was Hest. The man had strong hands, with long fingers and short, well-groomed nails. Sedric didn't want to think of those hands gripping her shoulders and the nails sinking into her flesh. They'd leave little half-moon dents there that would be small bruises by morning. Sedric knew. Unbidden, his hands left his face to touch and then grip his own shoulders. It had been weeks since Hest had left small bruises on him. He missed them.

he’s clearly in an abusive relationship except, unlike alise, he actually thinks it can be fixed. i understand the psychology of this on a surface level but it will always be disturbing to witness it.

Hest had been merciless. He’d teased him, and hurt him, then soothed and smoothed him. He'd been rough and then gentle, harshly demanding and then sweetly urging. The storm swept around them, making the trees bow and dance, but the cold couldn't reach them. The deep bed of needles in the darkness beneath the low-swooping evergreen branches had smelled sweet when they were crushed beneath their weight. Hest's cloak had covered them both. Time and family and the expectations of the rest of the world were blown away by the storm's breath.

Shortly before dawn, Hest had left him at the end of the carriageway to his family home. He'd limped home in muddied and torn garments, his hair wild, his mouth bruised. He'd slept as late as his father would allow him. Later that day, standing before his father in his study, he told a long lie about drunkenness and a tumble down a creek bank in the dark and a long walk home. He'd ached in every muscle, and his lips had been puffy and swollen. For three agonizing days, he'd moved quietly about his father's house. Mostly he kept to his room, seething with shame whenever he wasn't staring into the darkness and reliving every moment. Regret and lust warred in him.

the reveal of sedric’s first time with hest was very disturbing. hest was drunk. it also seems like he was older than sedric, though i have no idea what their exact age gap is.it’s just the way hobb describes it—that he was “barely” a man and just learning to shave. hest was obviously more experienced. he followed him to a secluded area, told him “you want this,” and oddly enough sedric thinks about it as if he did. but i’m not sure if that’s a genuine gray area or if it’s just another way for sedric to justify hest’s behavior towards him.

The "secret" drawer in the bottom of his wardrobe suddenly looked pathetically obvious. He unlatched it and dragged it open, all the while listening for the sound of footfalls on the deck outside. Was there a better place to hide his trove? Should he keep it all together or scatter it among his possessions? He bit his lip, debating.

Last night, he had added two items to his store. He held up to the dim light in the cabin a glass flask. The dragon blood filled it, smoky red and swirling when he held it to the light. Last night, he'd thought he'd imagined that motion, but he hadn't. The stuff in the flask was still rich red, liquid and moving as if it were itself alive.

i was genuinely shocked by this scene. i knew sedric’s intentions, but i never thought he’d act so rashly. he’s not just scavenging, he’s actively hunting. poaching.

He'd extracted three more scales from the creature, each about the size of the palm of his hand, wrapped them carefully in a kerchief, and tucked them into the breast of his shirt. He'd nearly returned to the barge then, for he knew that even one of the scales should bring him a rich price. But while a rich price might be enough to win their freedom, he doubted it would long keep Hest at his side. No. He had taken the risk already. He would either gain enough from this gamble to live like a king or he'd not bother. He'd be a fool to stop now when he was so close to making his fortune.

if you’re going to do something stupidly immoral/illegal, at least be sensible. taking too much at once is a great way to get caught.

and holy fuck just give it up already. hest will never love you

He recoiled from the touch of dragon's blood on his tongue, shocked that he had obeyed an impulse he couldn't even recall having. The taste of the blood flooded his mouth and filled his senses. He smelled it everywhere, not just in his nose but in the back of his throat and in the roof of his mouth. His ears rang with the scent, and his tongue tingled and stung. He tried to shake the remaining blood from his fingers, then wiped his hand down his shirt front. He was covered in blood and mud now. And still the dragon bled.

…

He stared at it, at the slow shifting and tangling of the trapped red stuff inside it. Like serpents twining round one another, he thought, and a ghostly image of sea serpents wrapping one another in the dim blue of an undersea world invaded his thoughts. He shook his head clear of the fancy, and he resisted the sudden urge to uncap the flask and smell the contents. He had sealing wax in his case. He should melt some over the neck of the flask to seal it securely. He should. He'd do it later.

now he’ll get the dragon’s memories! what the fuck. like seriously what the fuck. i wonder if drinking the blood will allow him to understand the dragon’s speech

[queenaegon]

happy pride month to loras tyrell, renly baratheon, eddard stark, robert baratheon, jaime lannister, cersei lannister, john the fiddler/daemon ii blackfyre, rhaena the black bride, bloodraven, bittersteel, rhaenyra targaryen, alicent hightower, cregan stark, jacaerys velaryon, alysanne blackwood, sabitha frey, and of course gwayne hightower 🏳️‍🌈🧊🔥

[queenaegon]

i forgot about jon connington. and jon snow. and samwell tarly. probably lyanna stark, too.

[queenaegon]

happy pride month to loras tyrell, renly baratheon, eddard stark, robert baratheon, jaime lannister, cersei lannister, john the fiddler/daemon ii blackfyre, rhaena the black bride, bloodraven, bittersteel, rhaenyra targaryen, alicent hightower, cregan stark, jacaerys velaryon, alysanne blackwood, sabitha frey, and of course gwayne hightower 🏳️‍🌈🧊🔥

[archamion]

Day 1 | Childhood | Elia with her mother

— for @eliaweek done by reign