#grossboy

[spacemogai]

Grossboy / Ickyboy ‿ ┊͙

⭑ 𓂃 A gender that relates to being gross or icky, and a boy! Examples are but not limited to: sticky / slimy things, being perceived as gross or weird by others, or just the words gross and icky!

⭑ 𓂃 Coined by me, flag by me. If someone has already coined this term, let me know!

[archival-arrival]

GenderGross

Both a gender in itself and a gender system. This gender feels best described with words such as "gross", "ick", "yuck" and so on. its up to the user but generally this gender feels gross and icky and possibly brings some level of disgust.

you may make a subgender/gender within this system by using "gross" as either a prefix or suffix.

BoyGross/GrossBoy

A gender within the gendergross system that feels best described as a "boy" and "gross" hence Boygross/Grossboy. this gender may feel gross, icky and disguising to some degree as well as possibly tied to some level of masculinity.

Both of these were requested by an anon!

[kockrovch]

What hurts is that I was there since day one, I adored you and held you so dearly to my soul but now you act as if I don’t even exist. I was there helping you move into your studio apartment, watching you paint and draw, we went to coffee shops and thrift stores, we slept in the same bed together whilst homeless, you were my best friend.

Is it because I’m an alcoholic ? What can I do to be your friend again? Why do you hate me so much? Is it because you’re more successful now? Am I no good? Am I rotten?

[kockrovch]

i had a strange dream again, same as most nights. in this dream i bought a winnebago, only problem was there was some kind of leak either with the water or gas tank, i cant remember, some sort of leak. i got it taken care of, it was doing well and was ready for the road. frankie and john were coming with strangley enough. we were driving down the highway... then ended up at a cafe somewhat like shot in the dark but also sort of like the place i served at Lus cafe in colorado. our plan was to find Jesus and take him with. the ownwer of the cafe was an older woman with grey hair, id never met her before in consiousness but we spoke to one another in such a comfort, it were as if id known her forever. she handed me this tiny orange kitten, it could have been just 3 weeks old. the orange kittens teeth were almost translucent and it was weak. The old woman told me that she couldnt care for him and that he was probably the runt or the litter due to the fact he was found alone, his mother left him to die. Survival of the fitest i suppose, so i took the kitten in. i cared for this orange kitten for what i assume was weeks in my dream but i knew it was only getting worse in health. i awoke, fucking strange taste in my throat. i wont be attemting to go back to sleep and finish what happened. i would rather not know.

[kockrovch]

soft confusion furrowed brows, gentle fingers, belly kisses, dancing in the kitchen, silly little dinners, tug at my hips a little longer; wrap me up in warmth and arms and soft blankets thick hair full of thoughts te quero mucho

[kockrovch]

my body is no longer mine my boss might fire me and i dont even make minimum wage theres so much bad in this world at least im not homeless anymore i cant help but feel like i make everyone unhappy or even angry with me i fall in and out of love constantly, i love when people hurt me most im nothing but my ovaries scheduled my birth control shot today i still sell my mouth on layaway to a man who only sees me as an object i sell my labor to a boss who couldnt care less about my poems or passions when will we be empathtic to one another? is it possible?

[kockrovch]

night terror: jasmine called me in my sleep last night, even though she passed away 4 yrs go. She told me that she never died, but shes in some kind of mental facility "getting better", she kept trying to end the phone call but i was just so confused that i tried to keep her on the phone until i could find her; i missed her voice so much, i asked if i could come visit sometime and she gave me an extremely intense "no." i awoke sweating as well as crying. you know those dreams you can jump back into within a small window of time? yeah, it was two solid hours of me attempting to do so. now im getting ready for work, staring at the alter i made her in fucking disbelief that she ever died. i keep relaying the night we found her and those ambulance lights, i rememeber they said she had been gone for too long, and being angry at the medics for not doing anything. i was 17. its just delusions, i know, but...

[kockrovch]

i feel like i keep losing myself in transit; a dirty expired bus card plastered in the pavement this week feels like its been 2 yrs i decided to drunkenly let someone in & once sobering up i tried my hardest to get them to leave/// sex means absolutely nothing to me i had to cut someone who keeps abandoning me out of my life, bc im exhausted of being afraid 24/7. 4 days or 4 yrs, its all just a waste of life. hours go by but i dont pay any mind/// spend all your money on me i dont have to depend on them anymore, in a way they manipulated me into sticking around by being my only means of survival, so they could "white knight" by throwing me a bone once in a while. i havent been sober once this month but its actually been yrs the sun rises and sets in a blink// always too much or too little and never in between//