my thighs are cold from the granite counter of my bathroom, the edges lining the skin beneath my knees. the unframed, worn mirror reflects smeared red lipstick, my mother’s oxidised silver earrings, and my kohl-rimmed eyes. outfits litter my bedroom floor, molten moonlight making collages of half-remembered tragedies all over black and white carpet. my skirts are either too loose or too tight, meanwhile all they’re saying is femininity lives in the span of my hips, the length of my hair, and the sheen of my skin.
whenever i’m alone, fresh air smells like ash.
i slip the cheap silver rings off their ceramic dish, sliding them onto my fingers. they make themselves at home at the base of them — nestling between every bone, blunder and bloom — glinting if i poise them just right. the thing snarling and snapping inside my chest is quieter with a little embellishment — muzzled — it no longer crawls up my throat and settles on my tongue. glitz and glamour, the ruinous science of lengthy rituals, has always cloaked the monstrosity that is a teenage girl. they say girlhood is in the plushness of your lips, the arch of your back, the womb in your stomach, and the ampleness of your chest. when they wish to talk about her demeanour, it is about the palatability of her anger, exquisiteness in her suffering, politeness in her appetite and satiability of her desires.
womanhood is first and foremost a sight; the yawning chasm between nine letters gets shamed into ultraviolet silence.
i have always grown around cyanide. sickly sweet when the centre scares me, bristling and nasty when my veils tire and i want to infect. all the world may be a stage, but the curtain drops to a scene no one wants to see, a script that is daringly damning, a cast that will inevitably be wicked, disarmingly charming and cunning in its intellect. the madness of my very existence is all-consuming, and it’s a catalogue free for all to see.
i don’t know where this monologue goes. no flesh that wraps such poison remains untouched, pure, or sweet. the tyranny of the past grovels over the choices of the present, and i’m left holding the infected pieces, trying to put them back together.
but what’s sick is not always fatal. and luckily, since i was very young, i became proficient at dressing wounds.
notes: hey guys... been a while... the algorithm isn't gonna like this one...
content: you’re dating bakugo and he wants to keep your relationship a secret. at least until the jealousy set in.
warnings: unedited
word count: 912
Bakugo’s the one who suggested keeping your relationship low-key since he didn’t want to deal with the relentless teasing from his classmates.
you obliged since you wanted him to feel comfortable in the relationship
he forgot you were the most beautiful girl anyone had ever seen and regretted the secrecy when he caught sight of many many many men flirting with you.
“Hey, Y/n, do you want to go to the movies with me this weekend?” “Sorry, Denki. I’m super busy,” you said, being the amazing liar that you were.
even though he was jealous, he trusted you enough for him to not intervene.
sneaking into his dorm whenever you could was a constant if you ever wanted his attention.
it got to the point where he made you a key so you could get in easily.
“Y/n? That’s Bakugo’s dorm… yours is on the other side of the hall….”
“REALLY? CRAP! MY BAD!” you exclaimed, running to your dorm, using the excuse of having only recently gotten your dorms to your advantage.
Bakugo: you’re so bad at sneaking around.
y/n: MAYBE IF YOU DIDNT SLEEP AT 8:30PM, I COULD SNEAK IN LATE AT NIGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE SLEEPING.
y/n: yk what. it’s your turn to sneak around. we’re meeting in my dorm from now on.
Bakugo: whatever, i’ll probably be better than you are.
y/n: let’s bet on it then.
Bakugo: fine.
Bakugo ended up getting caught his first time trying to sneak in.
It was his fault for trying it right after dinner, really.
“Bakugo?”
“Shut up, shitty hair,” bakugo said, retreating back to his room.
At some point, Bakugo had it with Sparkplug flirting with you all the damn time.
“Y/n-“ “Y/n this, Y/n that. Cant, you see she has a boyfriend, charging chord?” Bakugo growled, not realizing what he had just said. “What,” Mina said, shocked that you hadn’t told her, your best friend.
“…Surprise?” you said.
Mina was PISSED that you hadn’t told her.
She yelled at you while Bakugo sat there with a stupid grin on his face, wishing he had told everyone earlier that he was dating the prettiest girl in school.
“HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME? IM YOUR BEST FRIEND, Y/N!” “Blame Bakugo, not me! He’s the one who wanted to keep it low-key!”
“Oh my god, that’s why i kept seeing you guys on the wrong sides of the dorm building,” Kirishima said, finally putting the pieces together.
“Glad you finally figured it out, shitty hair,” Bakugo laughed.
“How can you be laughing at a time like this while i’m getting scolded by the whole class?” you hit his chest.
“It’s amusing,” he smirked.
Not feeling the need to hide it anymore, Bakugo proudly put his arm around you while sitting in the shared lounge space of the dorms, amused by the stares coming from his classmates.
“Stop staring or i’ll blow your asses to space.”
“Bakugo, be nice,” you warned him.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he said.
He enjoyed flaunting you and showing you off to people, even if he heard them talking shit.
“How the fuck did Bakugo in 1-A get Y/n L/n to fall for him…”
“You wanna say that again? To my face?” Bakugo threatened.
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT BEING NICE,” you punched him.
“OW!”
You both were constantly caught on actual dates, pictures of the two of you being sent to the 1-A groupchat.
denki: bakugo and y/n caught on a secret date 😱😱😱 bakugo: if it was secret we’d actually try to hide it dumbass mina: i’m still pissed i found out about it at the same time as everyone else. y/n: IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭
“Mina’s going to murder both us in our sleep one day,” you declared, resting your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder. “I’d like to see her try.”
You were both constantly watched, even when you were simply talking with him during class.
“Did you see the new-" “Keep moving, charging chord,” Bakugo scolded. “You too, Pinky. What were you saying?” “Oh, i was just wondering if you saw the new marvel movie yet,” you smiled. “I have. I saw it when it first came out. You wanna watch it?” “Yeah but if you’ve already seen it, we should just see another-“ “No, we’ll watch it.” “Mind if we join you?” Kirishima asked. “Leave,” Bakugo said, upset that Kiri ruined his moment with his girlfriend.
Apparently, the news of who your boyfriend was didn’t spread as far as the fact that you had a boyfriend.
“Do you think Y/n would leave her boyfriend for me?” some random guy asked his friend. “The only guy she would leave me for is for her stupid kdrama guys so shut the fuck up,” Bakugo growled. “S-Sorry Bakugo.” “Save your stuttering for your mom.”
Soon, word spread that Bakugo was the one you were dating, leading to a lot of snarky comments.
