Training to be a psychotherapist quite often entails just being thrown into the pool and either sinking or swimming. Early on in my own training, I took an internship at a community clinic where I worked with children placed in foster care. I had book learning yet in truth no idea how to be a therapist. In essence, I had to learn from my clients. One such client who taught me the most was a brilliant, shining star of a young man named Lawon.
Lawon was required to participate in psychotherapy as a condition of his being placed into kinship foster care with his grandmother. He was smart, charismatic, angry and had one of the sharpest senses of humor I’ve ever encountered. We worked together for a long while. I helped him to channel his angry feelings in a more positive direction and come to realize that his predicament in foster care was not his fault and not something he should feel guilt over. In turn, he taught me how to be a therapist, how to talk to people from a place of mutual perspective; how to keep assumptions in check. Through Lawon I came to realize that successful treatments are processes of collaboration. I was so fortunate to get to know him, I owe so much of my success to him. He was just a wonderful kid.
Our work together really paid off. He was able to steer clear of trouble, his grades went way up, he became a leader for his family and among his peers. The last time I saw him was at his high school graduation. A graduation that ironically coincided with my own passing of my dissertation and earning of a doctorate. I wonder if I could have done it without him.
Lawon went on to go to college, the first in his family to do so. He was in his second year when he went out with friends to celebrate his becoming engaged to his girlfriend. An argument broke out between some other people as Lawon and his friends were leaving the club. Who knows what it was about. It escalated and one of the men pulled out a handgun. It went off and an errant shot struck Lawon. He died instantly. He was only 19 years old.
The man who killed Lawon was ultimately arrested, charged and convicted of murder. He had prior felonies, but was able to purchase the weapon that killed Lawon by way of the gun-shop loophole.
Our country’s obsession with guns isn’t only hurting us in the here and now, it’s killing our future. I don’t know what Lawon could have gone on to do as an adult, but I know it would have been fantastic. And the whole world was robbed of this.
It’s terribly unfair that I have been able to go on and have a very successful and lucrative career as a doctor while the person who helped me get here had his life and future snuffed out. And I’m also aware that my being white and middle class has been a factor in my current relative safety from gun violence. All I can do is acknowledge that my success is his success. Every good treatment I’m involved with, every person I am able to help, is an aspect of Lawon’s legacy. He is gone but never forgotten and lives on in the various people he touched.
End the carnage. Protect our future. Close the gun-shop loophole.
