#guy town

[acespacelegendhere]

Jay: "And sex position topiary garden Where every bush is girl-on-girl"

Also Jay: Why do the guys think it's hot that Ali's pansexual?

I just thought about this while listening to "Guy Town" for the 1.000.000 time👀

[iherduliekmudk1pz]

THERES A PLACE I KNOW WHERE THE DUDES ALL GO

WHERE THERES NO FEMALE SCOURN AND HASSLE

ITS A BACHELORS DREAM WHERE EVERY MAN IS A KING

OF HIS ONE ROOM SHAG-RUG CASTLE

[shanelizard]

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: How do the penis worms maintain a population in Guy Town if they're all male?

[violetcrownchronicles]

Peevish Parrot - Invited to Fight it Out

7 OCT 1886. Austin Daily Statesman.

RECENT NOTEWORTHY HAPPENINGS.

A parrot which belongs to Mr. George Thompson, coffee dealer on the Avenue, was sitting on a perch in front of the store yesterday afternoon. Evidently, it has been raised where there was a cross baby. It ruffled its feathers, closed its eyes and would cry by the hour, the same as a peevish child would, and occasionally would cease crying and talk as if trying to quiet a child, and then cry again.

MIDNIGHT ROW IN THE FIRST WARD.

Two young men named J.W. Watson and J.Hudson, both of Hudson Bend in the north part of this county, came into the city yesterday with several farmers from that neighborhood, with cotton. They camped in a wagon yard in the first ward, and about midnight, young Watson and young Hudson went into a saloon owned by Albert Snyder, on Cedar street in that ward, and engaged in a game of billiards. Walter Morgan and another man, was playing at another table. Young Hudson was shooting the balls in such a manner that his cue would strike the cloth on the table. Snyder protested to Hudson shooting in that way, whereupon a quarrel ensued and Morgan passed some remark and young Watson, invited him out of the saloon to fight it out. Morgan refused to go, and Watson drew a knife from his pocket, but says he did not open it, when Morgan stepped up and struck him with a billiard cue, knocking him down and cutting a gash in his forehead. Officer O’Conner arrested both the men. Morgan and Watson both gave bond for their appearance at the recorder’s court this morning.

[violetcrownchronicles]

Playing on the Avenue - Odor Not Pleasant - Eucher Party - Displaying a Pistol - Saloon Menagerie - Theft Complaint

3 SEP 1886. Austin Daily Statesman.

RECENT NOTEWORTHY HAPPENINGS.

The Austin colored band was out serenading last night, and played a few tunes on the Avenue, in front of the Iron Front saloon.

There is an odor not quite as pleasant as the scent of cologne, in the vicinity of Pecan and Red River streets. There is a hide house in the neighborhood.

Last night the old folk’s eucher party met at the residence of Mr. G.V. Luce, coffee dealer, corner of Navosota and Catalpa streets. The young folks, as well as the old, enjoyed themselves until a late hour.

Yesterday morning, Officer Gibson arrested one Walton Walker, of Giddings, Lee county, in the First ward, for displaying a pistol. Walker did not want to be detained until today, and was tried by a special jury in the afternoon, in Recorder John’s court. He was fined $25 and costs.

At the Metz Brother’s saloon, on the corner of Second and Lavaca streets, Mr. Metz has two Mexican buzzards, a crane, a stork, one wild goose, a hog, one turkey, six chickens, six ducks, all in one pen, and in a cage he has six prairie dogs, a rock squirrel, a fox squirrel, two ground squirrels, and a white rat. They are a happy family.

Yesterday Lottie Stotts, a colored woman, who lives in the first ward, was arrested on a complaint of a negro man named Anderson, who drives one of the scavenger wagons, charging her with stealing $35.00 from his pockets while at Lottie’s house. Later, Deputy Sheriffs J.M. Davis and J.E. Kennerly arrested Mary Preston, in the south end of town, as an accomplice in the theft. In default of bond Justice Von Rosenberg sent them both to jail.

[violetcrownchronicles]

Saw Only Four Cows - Appeals to the Charitable

27 APR 1886. Austin Daily Statesman.

NOTEWORTHY HAPPENINGS.

Who is supposed to enforce the city ordinance as to running of cattle through the streets of Austin? A reporter only saw four cows, in a five minute walk Sunday night, roaming at will and hunting the most inviting yard to despoil. All the cattle were in the prescribed limits, and one cow actually in the middle of Congress avenue, just above Bois d’Arc street. Has the law become a “dead letter” three days after its publication?

Mrs. Harn, the mother of Dr. Harn, sends a communication to the Statesman in which she states that while out on a mission of charity she has found three families near the old school house in the lower part of “Mexico,” who “are on the verge of starvation.” Mrs. Harn appeals to the charitable to come speedily to their relief, as also to the mayor of the city. Mrs. Harn may be found at the Carrolton house, from which she proffers to accompany any humane person to the homes of these unfortunates. 

[violetcrownchronicles]

Gambling Den - Inebriate Jehu - Lavaca Street Robbery - Jail Escape

10 DEC 1885. Austin Daily Statesman.

LOCAL SHORT STOPS.

About half past 12 o’clock this morning Officers Williams and Thorpe made a raid on Al Johnson’s negro gambling den, in the first ward, and arrested a darkey named Clay, wanted on an old charge. The appearance of the officers was, the occasion of a grand scattering of the dusky knights of the green cloth.

A drunken driver, yesterday, unable to manage his horse -- a very gentle one -- came very near running over a little child crossing Congress avenue, and subsequently barely escaped collision with a buggy, in which were seated two ladies. Such reckless driving as was done by this inebriate Jehu deserves the severest punishment.

BOLD HIGHWAYMEN. A CITIZEN KNOCKED DOWN AND ROBBED.

Tuesday night last, between the hours of 11 and 12, as Mr. Brother F. Flenk, a stonemason, who resides in rear of No. 1404 Lavaca street, was returning home, he was knocked down and robbed of a silver watch and chain and some money. Mr. Flenk states that he was proceeding quietly out East Pecan street, and when near Cummings’ blacksmith shop three men jumped out from behind the shop and one of them struck him a severe blow felling him to the earth. Flenk says he was afraid to give any alarm, lest they would kill him. He has no idea who the parties were who attacked him.

JAIL DELIVERY. THIRTEEN PRISONERS ESCAPED LAST NIGHT. THEY SAW THE LOCK OFF THE CALABOOSE DOOR AND WALK OUT.

Last night, between the hours of 9 and 10, thirteen prisoners escaped from the city jail by means of sawing off the lock on the rear door of the corridor. The majority of those who walked out were tramps, and it is hoped their exit will be permanent. Among the number who thus preferred last night’s chilly, outdoor air to their comfortable (!) quarters in the calaboose were Walter Morgan, George Sharp and Chas. Dick, the two first named being confined upon charges of misdemeanor. Dick is the same man who was tried and acquitted a few weeks ago, in district court, on an indictment for assault with intent to murder his wife. After his acquittal he was arrested by the city authorities and locked up upon an old charge, and was “laying out his fine.” He will evidently skip for pastures new.

Night clerk “Uncle Dick: Boyce was on duty at the time, and, with other officers, was engaged in the court-room attending to his duties. Two partition walls were between them and the corridor, fronting the cells where the prisoners were allowed to sleep. The plan of escape was so well concocted that no blame can be attached to “Uncle Dick.” The jail is not a safe one at best, and the wonder is that prisoners are kept there at all.

The only one refusing to go out was a negro name “Californy,” whose term of confinement will expire today. He thought he could stand it one more night. Will the new city council take proper steps, at once, to put the calaboose in more safe condition? This is not the first time prisoners have quietly sawed off locks and walked out of the same back door. It is next to impossible to hear them at work in the front room.

Officers were at once put on the trail, but up to midnight no captures had been made.

[violetcrownchronicles]

Ballots Pour In - A Bloody Melee

8 DEC 1885. Austin Daily Statesman.

CITY ELECTION. BOTH SIDES WORKED HARD TO WIN. COL. J.W. ROBERTSON ELECTED MAYOR, LEADING MR. NALLE THIRTY-FOUR VOTES.

Early yesterday morning when the average man yawns and stretches and turns comfortably to tuck himself under the blankets for another morning snooze the leaders of the contending parties for the mayorship were out marshaling their posts for the day’s conflict. A dense fog enveloped the city and the gas lights drearily flickering in the mist shed a ghostly glare upon the damp, slippery sidewalks. Ever and anon a captain of one or the other candidates, closely, muffled up, for it was nipping cold at that hour, would suddenly emerge from the fog, hurry by and rapidly disappear in search of his lieutenants and ticket circulators.

By 8 o’clock the fog lifted and drifted away and the judges threw open the polls, and soon thereafter the ballots began to pour in, and from then until night all was bustle and excitement. The friends of the candidates were everywhere, watching and working at if everything depended on their individual efforts. Hacks, loaded down with voters, hurriedly deposited their loads at the polling places and whirled off after others. During the live-long day the contest waxed hot, and ebbed and flowed with a varying and ticklish capriciousness which was vexatious and trying in the extreme.

At times victory seemed to smile upon Col. Robertson, and his followers would be jubilant and his opponents correspondingly dismal. Then it seemed about to perch upon the banners of Capt. Nalle, and his followers would be joyous, while his opponents would put on sack cloth and ashes. Thus it was, and thus were men buffeted about, and their souls tried by fickle fortune. Never before in the history of the city was there such a contest, and never before did men strive and work for their candidates.

A BLOODY AFFRAY IN WHICH TWO MEN ARE BADLY USED UP.

Yesterday, down in the first ward, in a house kept by Blanche Dumont, Bob Marshan and Walter Morgan engaged in a bloody melee which lasted some minutes, and in which both were severely cut about the face and head. From all that could be learned Marshan was the aggressor. The fight occurred in a room of the house and wash bowls, pitchers, looking glasses and chairs were freely used by the two men. Officer Henderson, who was in the neighborhood, hearing the racket, hurried to the premises and arrested the men, and possibly prevented a murder. Bleeding freely, they were carried to the police station, where they were searched and a villainous knife, with a blade about ten inches long found concealed in the shoe of Walter Morgan. They will have a hearing this morning before Recorder Johns.