@tadbitfooled | 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
❝How much have you had to drink?❞ —Gwenifar
An embarrassing amount. Vigor had somehow managed to drink too much and not enough. As a young man, he flirted with a few drinks when offered, mainly just to be polite. When he left that life behind, suddenly a nice Starburst Shandy is hard to come by in the wilderness, just when he actually wanted it. What Vigor didn't understand was how it managed to make him so miserable. Drinking was for loosening lips, or to be enjoyed before throwing oneself into lively dance. He should be dancing, roaring with laughter and enjoying the company after so many years alone. So why, instead, did he find himself pinned to the table, head in his hands, weighted down by his heavy heart? Another slip will fix it, even if the last one didn't, or the one before that.
He moves slowly, barely raising his head as he turns towards Gwenifar's voice. Why'd it have to be her? She did not deserve to see him in such a pathetic state. The room rushes past his vision, even as he barely moves. His mind floods with too many voices, only adding to his own thoughts of shame and guilt, but it's hers, a voice so sweet and sensible, that grounds him.
❝Enough?❞ Vigor mumbles, faltering and ashamed. ❝Not enough to make me happy. Not enough to kill me. Just... enough.❞ He carefully rises from his seat, proving that he could at least keep himself steady, albeit with the aid of a nearby table. He wants to meet her gaze, hoping to see Gwenifar reassured and cleared of all worry, but he can't look her in the eye.
❝Please don't worry. I'm fine,❞ he pleads, ❝I'll— I'll go get some rest, I think.❞ He was conflicted, in desperate need of her company but racked by guilt, he could not let her see him like this. Besides, drink loosened tongues, and Vigor did not know how long he could keep his secrets any more. His past, his feelings, all things she deserved to know, and yet, she deserved better still.