YOU: chapter two - the aftermath
AKA you’re having trouble moving on
chapter one
chapter two: undo
i could hear you giving her head, she said - you think were doing it again, keep dreaming
genre: ex!boyfriend Haechan w/female reader
word count: ~3100
warnings: angst, jealousy (he’s kind of a dick :/), fluff (but also VERY charming), fingering, handjob, dirty talk
Flashes of Haechan run through your mind on a loop like old home videos, meant to make you feel nostalgic. Whenever you noticed you were feeling a bit better the tape would whir and start from the beginning, humbling you with reminders of why you needed to feel better in the first place.
You always considered you and Haechan a fluke, your happiest accident. Good things always come around when you’re not looking for them and he was no exception. You met shortly after you moved to town, just grateful that you had made a friend at your new job who wanted to socialize outside of work.
That’s how you found yourself sitting in the backyard of the house she shared with a few people, surrounded by welcoming strangers who made you feel like you’d known them for years rather than hours. You’d been playing drinking games all day, summer sun pumping alcohol through your veins and helping keep you social. As the night cooled off everyone gathered around a fire pit, telling funny stories about one another, and then eagerly defending themselves to you.
A few people cheered, raising cans of beer and marshmallows on sticks in a ‘cheers’ when someone walked out onto the patio, thrusting a six pack into the air with a whoop.
“This is my other roommate!” Yeji gripped your arm excitedly “Here, come sit between us.” she shifted and patted the empty space that she made, and he shimmied in, handing her a beer before turning to face you.
“I’m Haechan.” He smiled and stuck his hand out for you to shake and you introduced yourself, accepting the bottle that he offered and taking a sip “you’re really pretty.” You laughed in surprise, nervous under his sweet gaze.
“Hey, be nice, I don’t want you scaring her away.” Yeji nudged him, and he raised his hands to prove his innocence
“I am being nice, I’m actually about to be the nicest I’ve ever been.” He turned his back to her, clinking the neck of his bottle against yours “Cheers, to being the two best looking people here.”
Haechan was glued to your side the rest of the night; offering you drinks and telling you his favorite secrets about each person there. He made conversation easy, only needing to ask a few questions before you were chattering nonstop, yelling in excitement when you both agreed on something and lowering your voices to a whisper when the conversation got deeper.
Hours passed quickly, the glow of the fire casting a dreamy shadow over his face that tempted you to reach out and touch his cheek. You can’t recall a time before that meeting someone had been so easy, finding comfort in his laugh and doing everything you could to make the sound echo through the now empty backyard. The fire kept your knees warm but as it shrunk you found yourselves invading each other’s space, leaning in so close you barely had to speak above a whisper to hear the other clearly.
He was sure you were an angel, a trick of the flame that would evaporate into smoke when he dumped water over the fire. Haechan wasn’t big on romantic storylines or sappy beginnings but he felt giddy in your presence, desperate to hold your attention. He wanted to be closer, to get through five dates worth of conversation and touch in one night. His stomach dropped with anxiety and rose quickly with your every acceptance of him; pressing his thigh to yours, playing with your fingers, leaning in close enough that he could see where the sun had kissed your cheeks that day. A feeling that he can only describe to people who have experienced it, being jealous of the sun.
“Are you okay to drive?” He asked, over an hour had passed since everyone else had left you two by the dying fire and Haechan couldn’t help but notice the way your voice lowered with exhaustion, eyes looking heavy.
“I didn’t drive actually, since I knew I’d be drinking.”
“Oh great, so I can take you home then.” His smile lit up his eyes and he grabbed your hand to pull you to stand “I don’t think I’m ready to say goodnight to you yet.” You followed him almost mindlessly, entranced by his energy and the way he made you feel. You hadn’t even noticed yourself sobering up, too enamored with him.
In the car he talked nonstop, pointing out all his favorite places as he drove past.
“I know you’re tired, but can we make a pit stop? I have something I really want to show you” You nodded, his company making you forget about sleep. You weren’t focused on where he was driving, instead watching the way his ringed hand tapped against your thigh to the beat of the music, running your fingers up and down his forearm as if you’d done it a thousand times before. His palm warmed you up, the occasional squeeze against your flesh had your mind wandering to how his fingers might feel if he just moved them a little further up your leg and under your skirt.
“This is the best view of the sunrise in town,” the car came to a stop, pulling your mind out of the gutter “not to be completely cheesy, but I figured if we’re awake we might as well watch.”
“It is completely cheesy,” you teased, and he smiled before reaching over and unbuckling your seat belt, keeping his other hand planted firmly on your thigh “but I wasn’t ready to say goodnight to you either.”
“I think I like good morning better.” He was still leaning over the center console, rising sun casting a warm glow over his face. You hadn’t been nervous around someone in a long time and you welcomed the feeling, excitement stirring deep in your stomach when he reached his hand up to your jaw.
“I’m gonna kiss you now.” His eyes were half shut, waiting for your nod before leaning all the way in. He was being gentle, assessing your response and letting you take the lead. You dug your fingers into his wrist, trying to ask for more and sighing happily when he licked into your mouth and moved his hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer. You were making out like teenagers, after a few minutes even the car windows began to fog up as you pressed into one another.
The center console was getting in the way, digging into your stomach harshly whenever he tried to pull you closer. You rose to your knees for extra height and he practically pulled you into his lap, groaning hotly when you tugged at his hair, his own grip on your face warm and desperate.
“If I get into the backseat, will you follow me or make fun of me?” Haechan pulled away panting, tired eyes staring hopefully at you.
“Both.” He laughed, sweet and loud as he leaned over you to open your door. There was just enough room in the back for you to lay with your knees bent and Haechan happily settled between your legs, the chain around his neck brushing against your throat while he kissed you.
He traced gentle patterns over your waist, warm fingers pressing into soft flesh, and you let his hands roam. He was trying desperately not to roll against you, but when you pressed a hand onto his back to push him down, he couldn’t help himself, the crotch of his jeans rubbing against your underwear, skirt pushed up over your hips.
You were electrified by his touch, his plush tongue against your neck, even the smell of his cologne riled you up. When his fingers moved lower, tracing over your underwear you thought you might explode. Haechan could sense it, brushing his knuckles over you before hooking a finger into your panties and pulling them to the side. He pulled away from your neck to watch your reaction, trying not to let his head fall back down when you let out a desperate gasp as he brushed two fingers down over your slit, bringing the wet digits up to circle over your clit and then back down again and again. He was moving tantalizingly slow, loving the way you pushed yourself onto his hand and how your sounds filled his hazy mind.
You pulled him back down to stop yourself from moaning pathetically at the buildup, rucking your hips up when his tongue filled your mouth and he finally pushed a finger into you, curling it up and smiling against your lips when you gasped, body jolting while he stroked your g-spot.
“Tell me what you like.” He murmured, slowing his pace to ease another finger into you, scissoring the two digits apart before pumping them out to rub over your clit. Your whimpering wasn’t enough for him “Use your words, pretty girl.”
“I like-“ you moaned when he pressed harder “fuck, please don’t stop rubbing my clit like that,” you begged, and he let you chase his mouth, mewling against you when your legs started to quiver. He was rubbing you in slow languid circles, applying just enough pressure to make you feel like you were on the brink of an orgasm without getting you there “please, please, please.”
“So sweet when you beg,” he moved his fingers faster, using your own slick to keep them wet while you rocked your hips up into his hand “come on, want to make you cum.”
You let out a shaky “fuck” as you came, arching off the seat enough for him to slide his arm underneath your back, holding you to him while his fingers slowed. He traced up and down your slit while you caught your breath, twisting beneath him when he pushed two fingers back into you.
“So fucking tight,” He moaned into your mouth “gonna take you somewhere really nice,” pressing kisses to your neck between words “then fuck you until the only thing you can do is beg for more.”
You groaned at his words, grateful he could find them while your mind spun in blank circles. He pulled his fingers from your dripping core and tapped them against your lips, shaking his head in disbelief when you sucked them into your mouth, “do you have any idea how much you turn me on?”
You shook your head and his hips rolled over your sensitive cunt making you lose your train of thought. The damp fabric of your panties stuck almost uncomfortably to you and you writhed beneath him, sighing with relief around his fingers as he brushed messy hair out of your eyes. He smiled at your reaction, grateful that he seemed to have the same affect on you that you had on him. When he replaced his fingers with his tongue you reached down to shove at his jeans, gripping his hard length and drawing the most beautiful moan from his chest.
He fucked up into your hand, your own knuckles pressed into your sensitive clit with every thrust of his hips. He stared down to where you were holding him, panting when you squeezed the base of his cock gently and you wished you were on a bed, or a couch, or even the ground outside; anywhere but restrained by his backseat so you could get onto your knees and suck him into your mouth, craving the heavy head of his cock on your tongue.
He made the prettiest noises, mouth pressed to your ear while you tugged on his hair, chest practically vibrating against yours when you encouraged him, “Want you to come all over me.” his hips faltered and you felt warm strings of cum over your hand and stomach, kissing his neck when he rolled his head to rest heavily against the seat.
You pulled your hand away, bringing your cum soaked fingers up to your mouth and Haechan’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head at the sight of you cleaning him off of your skin. He pressed your hand into the seat above your head before letting his forehead fall onto yours with a quiet laugh.
“I give it a week before I’m completely in love with you.”
————
You really didn’t want to go on a blind date, but Yeji insisted that you needed to get back out there, still living by the motto ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new’. You weren’t so sure but after a few days of incessant nagging you finally agreed.
It went just about as well as you expected it might. He was sweet and polite, opening your car door, paying for dinner, and saying all the right things. At the end of the night, you even let him kiss you, hoping it would ignite something in your chest, but you were left feeling dull and sad, his lips on yours only solidifying how not ready you were to be with someone new. A few months not enough time for you to forget how Haechan’s felt, and you’re not willing to replace those memories yet.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling better, time heals even the deepest wounds, and you could feel your heart scabbing over slowly. Seeing Haechan so often hindered your progress, but you weren’t willing to give up your entire group of friends. You tried your best not to interact unless out of necessity and all your friends quickly adapted, making sure you didn’t have to sit near one another and never leaving the two of you alone; acts that you both appreciated endlessly.
“You really didn’t like him?” she whined, pouring you a glass of wine and you shook your head
“He was nice, just nothing special. When I move on it won’t be for ‘nice’ .” You were glancing around her living room nervously, this was the first time you’d been at her place without a whole group since the breakup and you were anxious for Haechan to walk through the door any minute.
One of the worst things about breakups is losing the things you shared, physical and emotional. You used to walk into this house and go straight to his room, throwing yourself into his lap and warming up under his touch, always a welcome interruption. Now you only came here when everyone else did too, usually opting for wine nights at your place, but Yeji insisted that you come over tonight “baby steps”.
“I get that. I’m proud of you for trying at least, that’s the hardest part.” once again you’re infinitely grateful for her patience, always a consistent shoulder to cry on, willing to listen to you say the same sad shit over and over again.
“Also, he drank weird, almost like he just learned how. I think half of his water ended up on his shirt by the end of the night.” She looked at you with wide eyes before you both burst out laughing, something you felt like you could only do with her.
You were interrupted by the door opening and your heart jumped when Haechan walked in, only he wasn’t alone. His hand gently held that of a girl trailing behind him, talking lowly to her and not noticing you both staring at him in shock.
Your grip on your wine glass tightened so much you thought it might shatter, feeling flushed and hot as she giggled cutely at whatever he was whispering in her ear.
When he finally turned and saw you both he froze so quick that she bumped into his back with a soft “Oh, sorry Hyuckie.”
He stared you down for what felt like an eternity, only seconds passing before he snapped out of his daze and lead her to his room without a word. You heard her laugh loudly and let out a short “Oh my god, so eager” before the door even shut.
You stood up so quick that you nearly knocked over the bottle of wine, stomach flipping as a wave of nausea rolled heavily through you.
“What the actual fuck.” Yeji stared toward his bedroom door and you could already hear satisfied gasps coming from the girl’s mouth.
“I need to leave, right now.” Your hands were shaking as you collected your things, not even bothering to put your shoes on as you raced out the door. She chased you out, getting into the passenger seat without a word as you sped away from the house; the sound of a stranger’s moans ringing in your ears.
You had gone back to your apartment and gotten good and drunk, crying together while watching Dirty Dancing and talking about all the things about Haechan that annoyed you. You couldn’t think of many so she mostly came up with her own list to make you feel better “he never empties the dishwasher, you really dodged a bullet, I’m serious”
The next morning you anxiously drove her back home, her pep talk pumping you up to go inside with her and finally get all your things back from him. Even with how frequently you saw each other you still hadn’t done it, this morning was the first time you touched the box of his things since you’d slid it into the back of your closet.
Much to your disappointment his car was in the driveway when you pulled up, you hoped you would be able to go in and find everything yourself, unable to get the image of him and her out of your head. Seeing him just a reminder of how much quicker he’d moved on. The idea of someone new getting to know your body the way Haechan had made you feel feverish, but it was something he obviously had no problem doing.
You knew that you didn’t really have the right to be mad at him, this was part of moving on and what you signed up for when you agreed to stay friends; only if you had known it would mean seeing him with somebody new so soon you would have created more distance.
He was alone at the table when you walked in, a plate of untouched food in front of him while he scrolled through his phone. He gazed up at you when you slid the big box in front of him, his name written neatly on the side.
“I think it’s time I got my stuff back.” You sounded more sure than you felt, Yeji nodding reassuringly behind you and Haechan glanced between the two of you before standing up, chair screeching loudly in contrast to his stark silence.
You followed him to his room, avoiding looking at his messy sheets while he fumbled around in his closet before pulling out an overnight bag that you’d forgotten about, stuffed so full of your things that the zipper wouldn’t close all the way.
“Thanks” you mumbled, an emotional waver in your voice when you took the bag from him, turning to leave as quickly as possible.
“Hey,” he sounded mad enough for you to face him again “I bet you didn’t know that Renjun told me you went on a date, I’m allowed to see new people too.”
He looked smug, and your sadness started to melt into anger as you processed his words.
“So, what, you did that on purpose to hurt me?” Haechan visibly recoiled from the way you spoke, the pain in your voice almost overshadowed by disgust.
“What, no. I-“ His shoulders visibly deflated “I’d never hurt you on purpose.” He was lying to himself. Initially he had planned on just getting in a quick fuck to clear his mind but your presence in the living room encouraged him, telling the girl he was with to make as much noise as she wanted to - to make sure everyone in the house heard.
“Didn’t you?” sharp words sliced through angry tension “next time I’m forced to go on a blind date I’ll make sure to fuck him after, maybe I’ll sell tickets.” You stared at him sadly for a moment before leaving him, ignoring Yeji’s protests and letting the door slam behind you.
Haechan’s heart had fallen to his feet, throat so tight with regret that he felt nauseous, air in the room thinner now that you’d gone.
“Fuck,” Haechan’s fist met the wall hard enough to leave a small dent, needing to put his feelings somewhere, anywhere. His body sagged in defeat, dragging down the wall to sit and digging the heels of his hands into the hot tears blurring his vision “fuck, fuck, fuck.” He flinched when a hand touched his shoulder, Yeji taking a seat next to him.
“You’re allowed to move on if you’re ready, but she didn’t deserve that.” She whispered, and Haechan nodded, swallowing thickly
“I know, I know. I fucked up.” he flinched when his head hit the wall “what if I’m never ready?”
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A/N
*not proofread*
chapter three
taglist (open: tell me if you want to know when the next chapter is posted) - @gomjohnny, @infnteen , @imgettinlocoloco
