panic. immediate panic. he tries to be strong but his brain goes “oh no oh no oh no she’s crying what do i do what do i SAY.” gives the most awkward but warm hug ever—arms stiff at first, then he melts into it because he can’t stand seeing you hurt. quietly repeats: “you’re okay, you’re okay… i’m right here.” listens. like actually listens. no interrupting, no advice unless you ask. after you calm down he’ll slip in a soft joke to make you smile: “you’re… kinda cute when you cry. like. in a sad way. but also cute. wait that sounded wrong—”
—huang renjun
instantly reads your emotions before you even say anything. he doesn’t rush to hug you. he asks softly, “want space or do you want me?” if you choose him, he’ll pull you into his chest and gently rub your back. he speaks in that calm, grounded tone that makes people feel safe. offers thoughtful, brutally honest insights that somehow make the problem feel clearer. makes you tea. wraps you in a blanket. tucks hair behind your ear. “cry if you need to. don’t hold it in just because you think it bothers people. it doesn’t bother me.”
—lee jeno
stoic on the outside, absolutely broken on the inside watching you cry. pulls you into his arms with no hesitation, like full body hug, head tucked against his shoulder. doesn’t talk much. just holds you. he knows silence can be more comforting than words. after a while he’ll gently sway you, thumb rubbing circles on your arm. when you finally calm down, then he talks: “i’m here, okay? whatever it is, i'm here.” will 100% get you water and tissues and make sure you eat something afterward.
—lee haechan
switches off the teasing instantly. his whole vibe softens, eyes get shiny, voice goes gentle in a way only you ever hear. pulls you to him and cups your cheeks: “hey… look at me. what’s wrong, baby?” he wipes your tears himself because “you shouldn’t have to do it alone.” talks you through your breathing, jokes lightly when the timing feels right, leans forehead to yours. gets protective in both serious and joking manner: “who do I need to fight? i’m serious.” afterward he refuses to let you be alone, sticks to your side until he’s sure you’re okay.
—na jaemin
the moment he sees tears, the switch flips: nurturing mode ON. he sits next to you, pulls you into his arms, and just lets you cry into his chest. whispers the softest things: “i’ve got you. you’re safe.” smooths your hair, presses little kisses to your temple if you let him. he’s big on reassurance: “you’re not a burden. don’t ever think that.” afterward he’ll insist on a short walk or fresh air—he believes in changing the environment to help reset your mind. also he gives the best forehead kisses. everyone knows this.=
—zhong chenle
actually freezes for half a second because he hates seeing people he loves cry. then he becomes the surprisingly reliable comforter. wipes your tears very delicately, muttering, “hey hey, don’t cry…” sits with you and talks things through logically, offering surprisingly mature advice. but also cracks real soft jokes to lighten the situation but never in a way that invalidates you, just enough to let you breathe again. brings you snacks because in his brain, food = comfort. “you’re allowed to cry around me, you know that right?”
—park jisung
puppy panic. full system error. but he tries SO hard to be steady for you. awkwardly pats your back or head at first, then slowly wraps you in a real hug once he feels you lean into him. listens quietly, nods a lot, doesn’t judge. he feels things deeply, so he won’t say much, just little things like “it's okay... take your time...” after you calm down, he shyly offers solutions or distractions, like “wanna watch something together?” if you cry hard enough, his eyes get teary too. he cares that much.
mark realizes he loves you in the most mark lee way possible: by accident, in the middle of something stupidly ordinary. you’re sitting on the floor of the practice room, laughing about something he said, and suddenly the sound hits him harder than any bass drop. it’s like his brain stutters. he looks at you and everything just… aligns. you’re not doing anything special, you’re just there, smiling at him with your whole face, and he feels this warmth crawl up his chest that he can’t shake off. he drops his water bottle because he’s startled by the thought—oh… oh i’m in love with her. for the rest of the day he acts weird, tripping over words, overthinking every breath you take near him. and when you leave, he whispers to himself, half in awe, “fuck me...”
—huang renjun
renjun realizes he loves you gradually, like watching a sunset change in color. it happens in quiet moments. like your voice when you read something out loud, the way you automatically fix his hood when it’s crooked, the way you sit beside him without asking. one day, you fall asleep next to him on the couch, head resting against his shoulder, and he stops scrolling. he studies your face, the steadiness of your breathing, and something soft but heavy blooms in him. it’s not dramatic. it’s more like recognition, like oh. it’s you. it’s been you for a while now. he brushes a stray hair away from your face and feels a pull so gentle it scares him, just a little bit. renjun doesn’t say anything out loud, not now, he will later on. but for now, he'll just look at you, memorizing every second where he realizes that he loves you.
—lee jeno
jeno realizes he loves you when he sees you cry over something small. one of those frustrating, tired kinds of cries. you try to hide it, turning away, laughing it off, saying you’re fine. and something inside him just breaks open. he's a protector through and through. he steps closer without thinking, cups your face gently, wiping your tears with his thumbs. his chest aches in a way he can’t explain. he wants to protect you, hold you, take every heavy thing off your shoulders. and that’s when it hits him, clean and sharp: he loves you. not the casual kind, not the crush kind. the real kind. the kind that makes him want to be better just so he can be worthy of standing beside you. he doesn’t say it out loud, but the way he holds you afterward, solid, steady, unmoving, says everything.
—lee haechan
haechan realizes he loves you when he tries to tease you and you ignore him, just once. you’re spaced out, tired, quieter than usual, and he throws a playful comment that usually gets a reaction. nothing. you just sigh and keep looking at your phone. he feels something weird rise in his chest, something like worry mixed with this sudden desperation to see you smile again. he sits beside you, nudging your knee, voice much softer than he expected. “hey… what’s going on?” and when you finally look up at him, eyes a little sad, he feels the ground tilt. it’s the way he wants to fix everything for you. it’s the way his heartbeat stumbles. it’s the way he’d drop every joke just to see your eyes brighten. he thinks, a little stunned, oh god. i’m in love with you. and for once, he doesn’t know how to make it funny.
—na jaemin
jaemin realizes he loves you on a day when you’re both doing nothing. just sitting on his bed, legs tangled, scrolling separately while some soft playlist runs in the background. you say something random, maybe about a cat video or a weird dream, and he answers automatically, but then he looks at you. like really looks. and suddenly everything around him blurs a little. your smile is too soft, your presence too safe, your existence too present into his life. the weight of it settles in his chest all at once. he imagines a future and your face is already there, without him even trying. he presses a slow kiss to your shoulder, casual enough to pass, but his heart is pounding. inside, quietly, he admits it: he loves you. and the thought feels like coming home.
—zhong chenle
chenle realizes he loves you during an argument. not a huge one, just a little misunderstanding that leaves you annoyed and him defensive. your voice cracks slightly when you tell him you felt hurt, and it stops him cold. his irritation dissolves instantly, replaced by this sharp panic that he made you feel bad. he tries to speak but his throat tightens in a way he’s never experienced before. and that’s when it hits him—he cares too much. more than he should. more than friends do. the idea of losing you or making you cry because of him is unbearable. he softens, the bravado dropping as he steps closer, voice small for once. “i… don’t want to hurt you. ever.” and in that moment he knows. and he said it, "i love you." loudly and helplessly.
—park jisung
jisung realizes he loves you slowly, then all at once. he’s always been comfortable around you in that shy, clumsy way of his, but one day you grab his hand in a crowd, just by instinct really, and he feels his whole world tilt. your hand fits too perfectly in his, your presence too calming. he looks at you, really looks, and he feels something warm ignite in his chest. later, when you say goodbye and your fingers brush his again, he freezes in place, replaying every second. he presses a hand to his chest because he can literally feel his heartbeat picking up speed. “oh,” he whispers to himself, face turning red. “… i think i’m in love.”
mark doesn’t like arguments, but he does defend what he believes in. passionately. almost to a fault. he’ll start out calm, hands up, saying, “okay, okay, i’m listening,” — but the second you challenge something he’s sure he’s right about, his eyebrows knit and he starts pacing lightly or shake his head unconsciously “i’m not trying to fight,” he insists, “i’m just saying, like, that’s not what happened.” he’s not raising his voice. he’s just stubborn. that earnest, frustrating kind of stubborn that comes from being too honest and too sure of what he remembers. and you’re tired. he can tell, but he’s still trying to finish his point, because in his mind, clearing it up will make things better. then he sees your lip tremble. everything in him deflates. he goes quiet, chewing his lip, shoulders lowering. “wait—wait, i’m sorry. i didn’t realize i was doing that,” he says softly. he sits beside you, leaning forward with his hands clasped. “explain it to me one more time, baby. i'm not gonna cut you off, i swear.” and when you finally let out what’s really bothering you, he listens for real.
—huang renjun
renjun’s biggest problem? he thinks rationality fixes everything. so when the argument begins, he goes straight into explanation mode, arms crossed, voice even, expression unreadable. “i’m not attacking you. i’m just explaining why it doesn’t make sense,” he says, which somehow makes it worse. you’re emotional. he’s logical. it’s oil and water.
the more upset you get, the more confusion flickers across his face, like he genuinely can’t grasp why you’re reacting that way. but then he sees it: the way you look away, shoulders tightening, eyes glossy. and something in him stops cold. his expression softens instantly. he uncrosses his arms, takes a step closer, voice dropping to something fragile. “hey… don’t cry. i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his thumb gently brushing the back of your hand. he pulls you into a quiet hug, one arm around your waist, the other stroking your hair. “i wasn’t trying to belittle you. i just… talk stupid when i care too much.” and he holds you until your breathing steadies.
—lee jeno
jeno is a logical-first, feelings-second kind of guy. and when you argue, you feel it more than ever. you’ll raise your concern and he’ll immediately respond with something like, “okay, but objectively—” and you want to scream. he doesn’t mean to be cold. he thinks offering solutions is being caring. but sometimes his explanations sound like he’s dismissing your feelings, even when he isn’t. when you snap, “can you stop being a robot for one second?” jeno shuts down. not angrily, just internalizing. his jaw tightens, and he looks away for a moment like he’s recalibrating. when he finally speaks again, his voice is quiet, almost careful: “i’m not trying to invalidate you. i just don’t know how to handle it when you’re upset. i’m trying.” he sits next to you, hands clasped because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. “tell me what you need from me,” he says honestly. and once you explain it, he really listens and his whole demeanor shifts. “okay,” he says softly. “i can do that. i want to do that.” his effort is clumsy but genuine… and it melts you every time.
—lee haechan
haechan jokes when he’s nervous. which is the worst combination during an argument.
you’re upset, and he keeps trying to lighten the mood, tossing out comments like, “okay grumpy, relax,” not realizing he’s pouring gasoline on fire. when you finally snap, his face falls — like he genuinely didn’t expect it. around the boys he stays composed, pretending it’s fine, but the second you’re alone, he’s unusually quiet. he keeps glancing at you, eyes softening with every second. “what did i do?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. and when you tell him he hurt your feelings, his entire expression shifts — guilt taking over everything. he moves closer, tucking himself into your space, arms wrapping around your waist from the side. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs into your shoulder. “i should’ve read the room.” he kisses your cheek, nose, temple — tiny apologies scattered across your skin. “don’t shut me out, okay? i hate when you’re upset and i can’t fix it.” and he doesn’t let go until you melt into him.
—na jaemin
jaemin gets quiet. painfully quiet. he isn’t cold, he isn’t annoyed — he’s hurt. he sits still, eyes lowered, thinking too much all at once. when you snap at him, he absorbs it silently, nodding once like he deserves it. “i didn’t know i made you feel like that,” he says softly, which somehow breaks you more. he doesn’t raise his voice, doesn’t defend himself. he just retreats inward, processing. you move away and he follows a few steps, not suffocating, but close enough to show he cares. “i don’t want us to fight,” he murmurs. “tell me how to fix this.” and when you do, he listens like you’re giving him sacred instructions. he reaches for your hand slowly, brushing your knuckles with his thumb. “come here,” he whispers, pulling you into a slow, grounding hug. his chin rests on your head, and he holds you like he’s trying to calm both your hearts. “i’m not going anywhere,” he adds quietly. “even when we’re like this.”
—zhong chenle
chenle reacts fast. talks fast. argues fast. he’ll notice something tiny, as trivial as your mismatched socks, or your forgotten umbrella. he'll comment immediately without thinking. on a good day, you laugh it off. on a bad one, like today, it grates. when you tell him to stop nagging, he scoffs, “i’m not nagging, i’m helping,” without realizing how sharp it sounds. but the moment he notices you shivering in the cold, or your eyes watering, or your silence stretching too long — he stops mid-sentence. “wait. are you actually upset?” his voice softens in a way it rarely does. he shrugs off his jacket and wraps it around you, his hands lingering on your shoulders. “i’m sorry,” he mutters, eyes darting away shyly. “i didn’t mean to be annoying.” he holds your hand as you walk, thumb rubbing circles apologetically. “i just worry about you. too much, probably.” and the sincerity in his voice makes your heart wobble.
—park jisung
jisung panics during arguments. he hates raised voices, even slightly sharp tones. the second he feels tension, he starts stumbling over his words, eyes widening in confusion and concern. “wait—what did i do? i swear i didn’t mean—” he keeps reaching toward you and pulling back, unsure if touching you will make it worse. when you look away, his whole face crumples. “don’t… don’t be mad at me,” he says quietly, almost pleading. he sits in front of you, knees drawn in, trying so hard to understand. “just tell me,” he begs softly. “i’ll fix it, i promise.” and as soon as you explain, he exhales shakily and scoots closer, resting his forehead against your shoulder. “i’m really sorry,” he clings to you while he whispers. “i don’t want to lose you.”
✧ still in the same friend group after a break up; dreamies ദ്ദി˙◠˙ )✧
ex bf!dreamies x reader | warning: language | genre: angst
—lee mark
you and mark pretend you’re fine. that’s the whole problem. you’re too good at pretending. in the group he laughs like normal, nods along to conversations, cracks his usual awkward jokes, but every time you speak his eyes flick toward you too fast, too instinctively. he tries so hard to act natural, feet tapping under the table, fingers worrying at the label of his drink, voice going a touch quieter when you’re involved in something. sometimes he starts to say something to you out of habit, a question or a comment, and he catches himself halfway, blinking like someone just hit pause on him. he smiles instead, the small tight kind he only uses when he’s trying not to show he’s hurt. and you smile back, because you’re trying not to show you’re hurt too.
—huang renjun
you and renjun tiptoe around each other like the floor might crack if either of you steps too hard. he doesn’t make it awkward. he’s too composed for that. but the distance in his eyes whenever you speak tells its own story. in the group he’s perfectly polite with you, answering your questions in short, careful sentences, never looking long enough for it to mean something. he used to read your mind just by glancing once; now he acts like he doesn’t remember how. sometimes he laughs at something you say by accident, a genuine, unguarded laugh, and then he goes quiet immediately like he regrets letting it slip. you catch him studying you when he thinks no one’s looking. just a second too long, like he’s checking if you’re okay. but the moment you glance back, he looks away so sharply it feels like a door slamming shut.
—lee jeno
you and jeno coexist like two clean lines drawn perfectly parallel, close enough to touch but never crossing again. he treats you with the same neutral steadiness he treats everyone else, which somehow hurts more than if he avoided you. he shows up to group hangouts looking composed, back straight, hair neat, voice even. he still greets you, still smiles politely, still holds doors open because that’s who he is, but he no longer asks if you’ve eaten or if you got home safe. when you speak, he listens without looking directly at you, nodding once, barely letting his expression shift. the others don’t notice, but you catch the rare moments he hesitates when choosing where to sit, always picking a spot that keeps you in peripheral view but never close enough to start something. it’s efficient, it’s rational, it’s jeno. and it leaves a clean, precise ache behind.
—lee haechan
haechan overcompensates. he laughs louder, talks more, becomes extra playful with everyone else just so no one notices how he tenses every time you enter the room. he greets you with a casual “hey” like you weren’t the person he once told everything to at 3 a.m., but there’s a split second where his eyes scan your face like he’s checking if you’re okay. he still talks to you, still asks if you’ve eaten or if you watched something funny he sent to the group chat. he teases you occasionally out of habit, then catches himself and shuts down instantly, pretending he meant nothing by it. in group settings he keeps a careful distance because he knows being close to you will make him slip. but when someone brings up a story involving you two, he gets quiet. afraid he'll slip back into old memories.
—na jaemin
jaemin handled the breakup way better than you ever could. he becomes careful in a way that feels almost tender. he doesn’t avoid or ignore you, he just becomes overly mindful of everything, from how he speaks to how close he stands. he listens when you speak with that same quiet attentiveness, but he doesn’t follow up, doesn’t ask the extra question he used to ask just to keep you talking. he helps you carry things without a word, passes you a water bottle without looking, places himself beside or across from you depending on what feels the least dangerous that day. the others probably think nothing changed, but you can feel the emptiness in every little gap he leaves. the way he pulls his hand back when yours almost brush, the way his smile softens but doesn’t reach his eyes when you laugh. he’s not over it. neither are you. but you both pretend the ache is manageable.
—zhong chenle
you and chenle are the loudest “we’re totally fine” disaster anyone has ever seen. he talks to you normally, jokes with you normally, teases you normally. until the moment there’s even the slightest risk of slipping back into old rhythms. he talks to you the same way he talks to anyone, jokes around, nudges you when something funny happens, but there’s a slight over-brightness to it, like he’s performing. he laughs loudly around the group, but when you say something genuinely funny, he smiles instead of laughing, a soft little curl of his lips like he’s afraid a laugh might give him away. he acts unbothered until someone sits too close to you, and then he goes quiet, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek like he’s trying very, very hard not to react. he’ll argue with you playfully, but he never pushes too far, and that’s how you know he still cares.
—park jisung
jisung becomes shy again. not in the cute, flustered way he used to be, but in the hesitant, unsure way of someone afraid to cross a line. he keeps his distance in the group, not out of avoidance but out of fear that getting too close will make old feelings resurface. he talks to you only when you talk first, voice small but kind, and he smiles at you like he’s relieved you’re not cold. whenever the group teases him about relationships or dating, he glances at you instinctively and then quickly looks away, ears turning red. he still cares, that much is clear. but he’s being cautious, because he doesn’t trust himself not to fall back in love.
break up. mark freezes the moment the article drops. his first instinct is to protect you, not himself. he calls you immediately, voice shaky, already apologizing even though it’s not his fault. he’s terrified of the pressure that will fall on you. your privacy, your safety, your peace. after a long, emotional talk, he admits he doesn’t think he can keep you safe in the middle of an idol scandal. it breaks him, but he chooses to step back because he truly believes it’s the kindest thing for you. he tells you he loves you. carefully, quietly. but says he’s not strong enough to drag you into that kind of spotlight. he promises, “if things were different, i’d never let you go,” and he means it.
—huang renjun
continue but hide. renjun would be pissed. not at you, not at the relationship, but at the invasion of privacy. he’s the type to tighten security, delete old photos, change routines, and keep your connection even more underground. he hates the idea of the media thinking they “own” your story, so he becomes even more protective. he tells you calmly, “we’re not breaking up. we’re just getting smarter.” he trusts your bond enough to outlast the noise. he’ll go off-grid completely if he has to: using secret meeting spots, changing the way he texts, lowering public interactions. stubborn love is still love, and renjun has plenty of it.
—lee jeno
doesn’t break up but asks you what you want first. jeno’s first reaction is worry. deep, quiet, very jeno-like worry. he calls you right away, voice low, asking, “are you okay? what do you wanna do?” he won’t make the decision for you. he’d prefer to keep dating privately, but if you say you’re too stressed, he would step back without resentment. if you want to continue, he’ll do it calmly and carefully. switching up meeting places, relying on trusted staff, being extra discreet. he won’t go public because he knows the risks for both of you, but he also won’t let a rumor decide your relationship. he deals with the scandal quietly, maturely, choosing whatever keeps you safest.
—lee haechan
continue secretly but gets a little reckless. haechan panics at first. dramatic, loud, stressed. but once he processes it, he becomes incredibly clingy. breaking up isn’t even an option in his mind. he complains about dispatch for weeks, swearing they’re obsessed with ruining his life. he wants to go public out of stubbornness but knows the company won’t allow it, so he settles for staying together but he has the hardest time being subtle. he sneaks glances at you in public, sends you voice notes at unsafe times, accidentally wears something you bought him during a schedule. he tries to be careful, but his love leaks out of the cracks.
—na jaemin
go public. jaemin hates scandals, but he hates hiding love even more. when the article drops, he’s surprisingly calm. he calls the company, calls his manager, calls you. then he says the most jaemin sentence ever: “i’m not losing you over a photo.” he’s realistic. he knows it’ll be complicated, knows fans will react in different ways but he’s confident in the way he treats people and the way he would protect you. if the company allows it, he prefers going public quietly, with dignity. no dramatic statements, no mess. just honesty. if they don’t allow it, he’ll still fight for the relationship with everything he has.
—zhong chenle
go public instantly. chenle sees the dispatch article, laughs, and shows it to you like, “so… should we post a better picture?” he has zero fear of scandal. he respects fans, but he refuses to hide someone he loves. he calls his company and basically says, “i’m not denying it.” he posts a subtle-but-obvious message. maybe a song recommendation, maybe a picture of your dog’s paws, and goes on with his life. chenle chooses you, loudly and confidently. the only time he gets serious is when he assures you, “don’t worry, i can handle this. i’m not letting anyone touch you.” he means it.
—park jisung
tries to break up, but fails. jisung spirals the moment he sees the article. heart racing, hands shaking, mind going a million miles per hour. he thinks he’s ruined everything: your privacy, his career, the group’s peace. his instinct is to protect you the only way he knows how. by removing himself. he calls you crying, apologizing, saying, “i think we should… maybe… stop.” but when you gently ask, “do you want to break up?” he can’t answer. he cries harder instead. eventually you talk him down, help him breathe, and he admits in a tiny voice, “i don’t want to lose you.” he stays, but you move carefully, slowly, with the softest love imaginable. he’ll continue the relationship, hidden, quiet, safe. but only because he loves you too much to walk away.
♡ calling them baby for the first time; dreamies ( ⸝⸝>人< ⸝⸝ )
—lee mark
you say it so casually, “can you pass me that, baby?” and mark freezes. actually freezes. his brain does a full blue screen. “baby??” he repeats, blinking fast. you nod like it’s nothing. he does that awkward laugh, looks anywhere except your eyes, and his ears turn flaming red. he tries to play it cool but you can see the way his brain short-circuits. “dude like… you can’t just say that out of nowhere,” he mumbles, looking anywhere except your eyes. he’s smiling though. huge. uncontrollable. for the rest of the day he whispers “baby…” to himself and melts a little each time.
—huang renjun
you call him “baby” while you’re both putting on your shoes, super casual. he stops mid-tie, looks up slowly. tilts his head, raises one eyebrow like he’s analyzing you. at first he side-eyes you like, did you really just call me that? but then he realizes you meant it sincerely, and his expression softens so fast it’s almost funny. then he smirks. that soft but dangerous renjun smirk. “you’ve never called me that before.” he’s teasing, but his ears are pink. you try to play it off and he just smiles wider, satisfied, “say it again.” and when you do, he pretends he’s unfazed but he’s very obviously staring at your lips every time you say it after.
—lee jeno
you drop it while handing him his drink: “here you go, baby.” jeno just stops. like you unplugged him. he blinks once. twice. another one. then he tries to act normal but his soul has already left his body. “oh— uh— thanks.” his voice cracks. you ask if he’s okay and he nods way too fast. “yeah yeah i’m good.” but he spends the next five minutes staring at his cup because his brain is replaying the moment on loop. he recovers eventually, clears his throat, and VERY quietly goes: “can you…call me that again later... babe..”
—lee haechan
you two are bickering over something dumb and you slip out a “stop being annoying, baby.” haechan gasps like you stabbed him. the most dramatic reaction possible. “BABY?? YOU’RE CALLING ME BABY??” he immediately turns smug. “so you finally admit i’m adorable.” he leans closer just to tease you, “say it again. go on. i wanna hear it properly. pleaseeeee!!” but later, when you call him baby again without thinking, he goes quiet for a second. soft smile. heart clearly doing somersaults.
—na jaemin
you call him “baby” when you ask him something trivial, expecting nothing. jaemin doesn’t even blink. just looks at you with that soft, warm, too-pretty smile. “yeah?” like you’ve been calling him that for years. then he immediately starts calling you “baby” right back so so casually. he continues what he’s doing, totally unbothered but then he leans down on the back of your chair and murmurs, “that sounded really nice.” and then for the rest of the day he calls you baby like it’s the only word he knows. you unleashed a monster.
—zhong chenle
you call him baby while laughing at something stupid he said. he stops laughing. stares at you. stares more. “huh?” he asked, half laughing, half shocked. you repeat it and he breaks into the SMUGGEST SMILE ON EARTH. he jokes, “don’t call me that in front of the members,” while grinning so hard his eyes crinkle. but his ears are red. and he keeps trying to bring it up subtlety the rest of the day: “hey… that thing you called me earlier… do that again.”
—park jisung
you’re fixing his hair or dusting something off his jacket when you say, “hold still, baby.” jisung freezes so hard he forgets how to breathe. his eyes go wide. he stammers out a tiny “me?” and when you nod, his entire face turns red. he can’t look at you for a bit, fidgeting with whatever’s in his hands, but he keeps smiling to himself. he’s overwhelmed, but in the sweetest, most innocent way. later, when he thinks you aren’t listening, he practices whispering “baby” back to you.
he thought about kissing you days—maybe weeks—before asking you out on your second date. he was gonna kiss you on your first date but the timing just wasn’t right yet. or maybe he was just too nervous to do it. you were friends before so he was scared of actually the crossing the line. the both of you were now at his studio listening to a new demo that he was working on. you were admiring his talent and you kept showering him with praises. the two of you locked eyes and you felt your stomach bubbling up. you tried your best to keep the eye contact but it's like you can hear your heart beat louder than ever now. you move your eyes away from him to look down at your hands. "hey." mark called out with his soothing voice. his hands reached the bottom of your chin. he was no longer sitting on the sofa next to you, he was now kneeling in front of you, his other hand gently on top of your thigh, as he looked up at you. he smiled as his eyes flicker in between your eyes and your lips before leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss. you could feel his smile getting bigger through the kiss and you couldn't help but laugh as you kept imagining what he looks like right now. he pulled away laughing, "why are you laughing??" "it's just funny." "it's not supposed to be funny, though??"
—huang renjun
renjun made sure to ask you to be his partner before kissing you. no weird status, no undefined connection, he made sure that you guys would be in a relationship, before kissing you. he had a planned out day for the date, a fixed schedule from where to go, where to sit, what to eat, what to say, and he made sure he does everything perfectly. he had laid out a private dinner near the water ask he asked if he could be your boyfriend. he was beautiful with his words – meticulous with the way he confessed his feelings. but before he could finish his speech, you were too happy, you couldn't help yourself as you spring away from your seat to kiss him. he was shocked and he stopped moving for a second. he had made this mental scenario in his head and now he doesn't know what to do because he's supposed to kiss you first, not the other way around, "that wasn't... supposed to happen." you were embarrassed. did you read the room wrong? "oh..." "no–i mean... i was suppose to finish first and then i was supposed to kiss you." "you can still do it." without wasting a beat, he grabbed the back of your head and he kissed you deeper than before.
—lee jeno
jeno was confident the entire date — almost surprisingly so. he kept leaning closer when you spoke, brushing your hand when he reached for something, smiling in that slow, soft way that made your stomach flip. he wasn’t hiding how much he liked you. if anything, he was showing more of that quiet, affectionate side he usually keeps tucked away. but the second you initiated something — your fingers slipping between his, your shoulder bumping his, your laugh a little too close to his neck — that confidence cracked. you could see it in the way he ducked his head, the way he bit back a smile, suddenly shy despite being the one who’d been flirting all evening. jeno could command a room without trying, but around you, he kept folding into himself, nervous and sweet and so obviously gone for you. later, when you two walked home, you tugged gently at his sleeve to get his attention. he looked up, eyes wide, lips parted like he’d forgotten how to breathe. you didn’t even get a word out before he stepped forward, voice barely above a whisper: “can I…?” you nodded. and jeno kissed you like he’d been scared of wanting it this much.
—lee haechan
haechan had been ridiculously romantic all week, to the point where you weren’t sure if he was teasing you or slowly trying to kill you with affection. today was no different. “aigoo, you have chocolate all over your cheeks,” he sighed dramatically, grabbing a napkin like a disappointed parent. except the way he cupped your face was anything but parent-like. he wiped gently, eyes flicking between your face and your lips before leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek. “there. all clean now.” you nearly combusted. he knew it, too — the smirk forming on his lips said everything. but later, when the two of you were walking home, the atmosphere shifted. he wasn’t teasing anymore. his hand brushed yours once, twice, then finally linked your fingers together like he couldn’t resist it any longer. you looked up at him, still shy from earlier, and that’s when he froze — eyes softening, bravado slipping. “you’re cute, you know?” he whispered, thumb brushing your knuckles. then, quieter: “here i go.” and haechan kissed you slow — sweet, warm, and nothing like the playful pecks he used to get away with.
—na jaemin
he started by holding your hand first, gently, like he was checking if you’d pull away. instead, you laced your fingers with his, and he kept brushing his thumb over your knuckles as you walked. the weather was cold and a little windy, and soon he tugged you closer, slipping an arm around your waist like it was the most natural thing in the world. you walked along the river until he stopped to admire the view. he pulled out his phone with his free hand and opened the front camera. “come here,” he murmured, pulling you even closer. the first picture was simple, his chin resting on your head. the second was softer, a quick kiss to your forehead that left you frozen. after snapping them, he scrolled through the photos, smiling to himself, before tucking his phone away. when he looked down, you were already staring at him, wide-eyed. he chuckled and kissed your forehead again, like it was nothing — except it wasn’t. everything was still so new, and you hadn’t kissed like that yet. “what?” he laughed when you looked away, flustered. “you’re annoying,” you muttered, though the smile on your lips betrayed you. he kept teasing, leaning in just for you to wriggle away, but his arm around your waist held firm. finally, he pulled you fully toward him, both hands resting at the small of your back. he booped your nose, eyes sparkling, before leaning in and kissing you — slow, soft, certain. pulling away, he grinned, already smug. “how was that?” a beat. “want another?”
—zhong chenle
chenle had crashed at your place the night before (on the couch, very firmly “as friends,” even though the two of you had long crossed that blurry line where friendship didn’t fully explain anything anymore). he woke up late the next morning, hair a mess, hoodie half-zipped, eyes wide the second he saw the time. his manager was already downstairs waiting, blowing up his phone. he scrambled to put on his shoes, grab his bag, and somehow still manage to thank you for letting him stay over. “i’ll text you—thanks—see you later—” and then, without thinking, he leaned in and kissed you. on the lips. a quick peck. like it was the most natural reflex in the world. and just as fast, he bolted out the door. you stood frozen in your apartment, brain empty, heart sprinting. you weren’t even dating. not officially, anyway. what was that? apparently chenle had the same thought because barely thirty seconds later, you heard frantic knocking. you opened the door to find him panting, red-faced, hands up like he was surrendering. “i…am sorry—that was… i’m late…can we talk? later i mean—later. i didn’t mean to—to kiss you—” “you didn’t want to kiss me?” “i didn’t say that!” “you want to?!” “ye—yes! yeah, of course!”
—park jisung
you were sitting together on his bedroom floor, backs against the side of his bed, a half-finished puzzle spread out between you. jisung had been unusually focused, but not on the puzzle. every time you leaned closer, his breath hitched. every time your fingers touched, he froze for half a second before pretending nothing happened. and when you joked about his terrible puzzle skills, he looked at you with this mix of embarrassment and something warmer. eventually, the puzzle was forgotten. you were both turned toward each other, talking quietly about nothing and everything. the space between you kept shrinking. jisung’s hand drifted over yours, then rested there, hesitant at first, then firmer when you didn’t move away. his knee brushed yours. your shoulders touched. he didn’t pull back. and finally, with his nose close enough to almost touch yours, his right hand over yours, his left hand hovering near your knee, jisung breathed out: “can I kiss you?” he whispered, so slowly, and calmly. "please." you whispered back. he wasted no time before placing his hand on your cheeks and intertwining his lips with yours. his movements were slow but they felt strong. it was like he was in control but he still left room for you to breathe comfortably. when you both pull away from the kiss, he smiled at you and gave you another little peck before saying, "i've wanted to do that since forever ago."
opposites attract. you and mark are just... different. he wants the world. to travel, to chase every horizon, to see what’s beyond the stars. and thanks to his job, he actually gets to live that dream. you on the other hand, you like being in one place. travel once in a while is nice but having a constant ground is crucial to your wellbeing. he loves the sea, you love the mountains. he’s afraid of heights, you wish to skydive.
mark takes care of you — you won’t deny that. but sometimes, you wish he’d stop running himself into the ground long enough to let you take care of him. he’s a giver, not a taker. and you’re the same. on paper, that sounds ideal: two givers. but in reality, it’s not exactly as smooth as it sounds. it means neither of you ever asks for what you truly need.
your personalities don’t balance each other the way you hoped. there’s always something left unsaid. he holds back his opinions because he’s scared of hurting you, but you need honesty to feel secure. he treats you like you’re delicate, fragile, breakable — but you aren’t. you never have been.
and that’s where the rift opened: he loves you with gentleness, but you needed to be loved with truth.
—huang renjun
lovers to enemies. he was your everything. the one person in your life that could summon an immediate smile to your face with just a single glance. the two of you loved each other deeply. but work got in the way. he got way too busy and you couldn’t keep up with schedule. you needed someone that can be there for you. you needed someone to be constant in your life. and that is something renjun cannot give to you. so you started to spite his work which then slowly turn into you spiting him. that wasn’t fair of you to do so but it got too overwhelming. you brought up the conversation of breaking up and he’s completely against the idea.
the conversation spiralled into a huge argument until the two of you said things, cruel things, that you both didn’t mean. you called him unattentive, pretentious, too self-absorbed for his own good while he called you selfish and a mere pitstop in his life. the second that came out of his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed and he realized that wasn’t something he can take back. but you both have an ego larger than your relationship. he didn’t say sorry and neither did you.
after you both ended on bad terms, you started to hate him, and he hated you. every time you hear his voice on radio, his face on a billboard, or just a sudden casual mention of his name, your mood immediately turn sour. renjun didn’t waste any time to delete all pictures he has of you on his phone. you blocked him and he blocked you. the two of you never got an closure after the fight and that’s how you ended it. the intense, passionate, perfect love you once shared had now turned into the cruelest hatred.
—lee jeno
unrequited love. you are in love with jeno. it was instant and you knew it. you loved him the minute you laid eyes on him. how could you not? he was the kindest, warmest, most attentive person you’ve ever met. you guys aren’t even the best of friends, just occasional meet ups and a lot of mutual friends. yet, he had such a big effect in your life. you are hopeless romantic, borderline helpless really.
jeno always gives his fullest attention to the person he’s talking to and every time he talks to you, you can see how attentive he is. the replies he gives, the little nods in between your stories, and his perfect eye smile. everything about him you adore.
you heard from renjun that jeno started seeing someone the past month. you were devastated when you found out it was a mutual friend. every night you thought, “if i had just confessed, would it be different?”
you don’t want to compare yourself to her, but you do. endlessly. painfully. not because you’re jealous — but because you know the truth.
to him, you’re just a friend.
and nothing about you was ever enough to tug his heart the way he unknowingly tugged yours.
—lee haechan
friends with benefits. how you two become what you are now was simple. he complimented the shade of your lipstick once, and now here you both are, laying skin to skin on a thursday night, freeing all the pent up stress from the day. it was simple.
but with haechan, nothing stays simple for long. he’s warm in all the ways you shouldn’t get used to. he laughs into your neck when he’s tired, holds your wrist a second too long after pulling you closer, leaves his hoodie draped over your chair because “it looks cute on you, keep it for a bit.” you tell yourself it’s convenience. he tells himself it’s habit. neither of you are brave enough to call it what it is.
there’s always a moment after, a quiet one, where he looks like he’s about to say something honest. something dangerous. but he never does. he just cracks a joke, shifts the mood, protects the line he swears you both agreed on.
you don’t ask for more. he doesn’t offer. still, it’s changing — in the way your heart stumbles when he laces your fingers together without thinking, or how he hesitates before leaving, like he’s torn.
it wasn’t supposed to get complicated.
but with haechan, it always does.
—na jaemin
right person, wrong time. you love each other, deeply — that was never the question. falling for jaemin was the easiest thing you’ve ever done. he’s patient with you, gentle in ways that feel like sunlight, the kind of partner who listens with his whole heart and loves with all he has. and you love him just as much. there’s nothing the two of you can’t talk through, nothing you wouldn’t wait for.
he proves it every day. even after the longest schedules, he stops by your apartment just to see you for five minutes, hair damp from rehearsals, smile soft only for you. he flies city to city, barely sleeps, but still finds time for late-night ramen dates or walks around quiet streets where no one will recognize him. he gives and gives, and you never doubt that you’re cherished.
but time — time has always been the enemy.
there’s never enough of it. your forever conversations are built on moments that end too quickly, promises spoken in the spaces between departures. at first, you told yourself it was fine. you can’t post him? fine. can’t be seen with him? manageable. can’t hold his hand unless you’re indoors with the curtains closed? still doable.
but then the list grew: you can’t see him on his bad days. you can’t ask him to stay longer even when he wants to. you can’t give him the version of love he deserves, not with the world watching his every step.
and slowly, painfully, you realize: you are each other’s right person. just not on this lifetime.
—zhong chenle
in denial. chenle loves being around you. he asks for you when you’re not around, calls you in the middle of the night to accompany him when he’s gaming even though you don’t play, you’re the first person he thinks of when he’s happy, always asking if you have a good day or not. and you also feel protective of him. you hate seeing him upset, always trying your best to put a smile on his face when he’s feeling down. but the minute someone brings it up to either of you, you both shut it down in a second.
chenle was taking pictures of the food he’s eating before sending it to you and jisung casually brought up the conversation when the boys were eating lunch before going on stage, “do you always text her? like all the time?” chenle got defensive saying that he also text the members the same amount. jeno then added, “hmm, but you have this weird smile when you text her. i hope you don’t smile like that when you text us chenle-ya.”
it was your birthday, chenle wanted to give you a present that he made. it was simple, a beaded bracelet with your initial and his. you had told him not to buy you anything expensive, it’s the effort that’s important. “um, happy birthday, again. i have something for you,” he was on his way to give it to you before realizing how intimate the current scene is. it was you and him on a rooftop of your apartment. the rest of the people were downstairs. he stopped his hand and kept the bracelet in his pocket. instead he took the empty beer he brought from downstairs and handed it to you, “cheers.”
“ah… thanks. what a nice friend you are.” friend. every time you say it, your heart breaks a little.
—park jisung
first love. you are each other’s first love. but, with every beginning there will always be an end. he was young and so were you. two naive, pure, innocent souls who grew attached to one another in such a short span of time. never questioning how fast the both of you fell for each other. time grew older and so did you, so did he. he was big now. bigger than the first time you won rock paper scissors against him. everyone knows his name, everyone wish they knew him, everyone would kill to be in your position. you thought you knew the risks of being with someone as well knows as jisung. but, of course, you didn’t know this would happen. all you remember was kissing him on his 15th birthday party and now, you were hiding away from fans and paparazzi in a the back of a black tinted car, just to catch a glimpse of your partner. why should you fight to simply embrace him? why should you hide how you love him? you kept him with you. always you said. always he said. he was all you knew. it was scary, imagining a life without him.
over time, distance got the best of you. you blamed the distance for how you two drift away from each other. you blamed it all on distance. but in truth, you’ve been distant even before he started touring. in truth, you tried your best to hold on to him but he keeps slipping away. his priority is not longer you and you need to understand that.
“we are drifting apart, jisung. our love… it’s not gonna hold out.” tears were running profusely on your cheeks. you finally decided to end it with jisung. this relationship is no longer sweet and innocent. this relationship has turned bitter and painful to bear.
“no—don’t—we can work this out, okay? i love you and you love me. we can work this out. please. we can,” jisung was on his knees, cradling you in his arms. he was also a crying mess, the most vulnerable you had ever seen him, “i’ll make— i’ll–find more time for us—”
“you can’t…” you whispered, “it’s okay. i’m letting you go. you should let me go.”
