[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 12.01 ] : ( you have a lot to answer for. )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 12.03 ] : ( god… i wish you could see karen right now… or you know, at any point in the past few months. she’s never been like this. )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 13.15 ] : ( i don’t even know if you’re getting these at this point. karen said she’s sent you a text every day since you disappeared. but nothing, not even a read symbol. )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 13:16 ] : ( do you know how worried everyone is? even this long after? )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 13:17 ] : ( everyone was frantic after that audition. for that entire week. you can’t even be bothered to text anyone back? or even so much as look at your phone? not even a damn letter? )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 14.14 ] : ( did we all do something wrong? is that why you left? )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 14.16 ] : ( kagura, i know you didn’t know us all that well, but i liked having you around. we all did. you were a great classmate, and a great friend. )
[SENT -> ( Kagura ) @ 14.17.] : ( guess the feeling wasn’t mutual though. )
reading the texts karen had sent her during those long months was hard enough — could barely breathe knowing that her plan to PROTECT karen had so brilliantly failed . had only saved all the others from the despair of lost potential . thought giving herself up would save ALL of them . hadn’t known she’d left karen suffering because of it . knew the girl would be sad , but hadn’t thought she’d end up losing her purpose the same way hikari did when she lost in her first audition .
she thought looking at these would be easier — that maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much from someone she was surprised even really cared about her absence . but it wasn’t . not with that message that mentioned how worried EVERYONE was the week after the audition . that they all cared that she was gone . that futaba considered her a great classmate . && even above that , a great friend . hadn’t ever really considered that the others might have actually missed her . that maybe someone aside from karen would be at all affected by her absence . but maybe they were .
so though she knew she should say it directly to the other , she knew she didn’t have the strength . not emotionally , at least . so she’d swallow hard , try to take a deep breath as she typed out the message in the dark of her room , momentarily glad that karen && mahiru were already sleeping .
[ text : futaba isurugi ]
02:32 — I didn’t want to hurt Karen or any of you.
02:32 — I just wanted to protect her.
02:38 — I’m really glad to be back with all of you.