#half-awake

[half-awake]

uh hi !!

i removed a bunch of stuff because ermm well you see

idk if i’ll revive this blog or not but :^) parked here for the time being

[behindthelastdoor]

Poem 1020

Sometimes, your oldest enemies can feel like your only friends And in those moments you must look to your shadow For if you can love ghosts Why not the umbra of your soul If you tend to all that you are not What you are will always flourish

[burtontracks]

Nak’d 17 – 65

morning, pre-coffee

[sleepyrooster]

I really do enjoy having a cup of coffee before the sun comes up.

[nei-ning]

I had many dreams last night, but these are the only parts I remember:

1. In first dream I went to small second hand shop with mom. There was small, but tall wooden stall which instantly caught my attention. I went to it, spotting 1 fork and 1 knife on the shelf. They were OLD. Like really, really old! They were partly covered with some old “rocks” / ground / dirt etc. but they were made of metal or silver.

From the corner of my right eye, I saw Mister Burns from the Simpsons. He stood there and he knew I was looking at the fork and knife. He then said to me; “They are from 107th century.”

I was fascinated and blown away in a way. I still am, tho!

2. I was venturing outdoors, ending up on this round “dead end” rocky mountain pass / notch. There was a second level where I should had go, but I needed to find a way there.

At some point I got there, only to notice that there was a big person who looked a lot like Gimli, just nicer. He was there with a young man, probably either human or elf. He had spend the night there with this young man (having sex) before they continued their journey. A bit further away from them was a woman, dressed like an elf in a dress and hood, and with her was 2 younger women. Probably humans. They tried to sneak after “Gimli” and the young man, but the oldest woman / elf said with firm voice; “Don’t you even dare to try to follow them.” Girls sighed in disappointed, but obey.

Then I, kind of, woke up... I think? Long story short. In this state I met more or less muscular white man, he was definitely a fighter in an army. I was in his camper which felt very nice, safe and cozy. We were on the bed, both naked, but we hadn’t done anything “naughty”. He told me he had rescued me from 2 men who had attacked me. He told me he was a sniper so he had shot the guys easily. The reason why I was naked was that my dress had been dirty and broken so he had removed it, still being respectful and not touching or staring at me.

We laid there on our sides, facing each other as we talked some more. He was amazingly kind, gentle and understanding man. I have never met anyone like him. He sat up while I kept laying still, now looking at his muscular back.

I told him how much I like his finely muscular body. He grinned at me so kindly, asking me would I like to touch his muscles, offering his arm while showing off his bicep. I sat up, keeping the blanket in front of me to cover myself as I reached to touch his arm. His muscles... weren’t even near as hard as I thought them to be or feel. They were nice and smooth. My hand slid on his bicep, next on his shoulder and then on his back. I really liked to touch him.

I started to talk to him, describe how I felt and how he felt under my touch. He smiled gently again with soft chuckle, asking me what I thought about his face. My focus turned on his high cheek bones, which I absolutely loved. I also loved his strong chin, his strong and thick brows / eye ridges and then...

My focus turned on his eyes as I said; “I really like those deep blue eyes.”

Deep blue eyes. His eyes just... I had never seen anything like them before. The realization of those 3 words combined with his eyes. It made me fill with super strong joy, with super strong excitement! I have NEVER felt like that about anyone’s eyes! I was grinning from ear to ear, I was giggling, I was laughing, I felt like I’m exploding from the inside. So strong, so wonderful, feeling!

He smiled at me, carefully reaching to push my long, thin and black hair behind my ear (note! I DON’T have black hair! I am natural blond who’s hair has start to turn light brown over the years! Plus my hair is short!).

The moment between us lasted long as kept talking. He was straight and honest, so kind and gentle too. I loved to listen to him and... He listened to me too. I never haven’t experience anything like that either. That someone listens to me like he did. It was all new and so wonderful.

We spend a long time together talking until I snapped out of it / woke up for real when my cat was meowing for food, jumping on me.

Here’s pic of the color of his eyes too. Tho it was a bit darker blue because of the shadows, cast by lights in the camper.

12.7.2021

[mistervictorious]

Half-awake, I heard a whisper in my ear.

"Malice is almost a formality."

The unspoken bit was "at this point".

......... Who is this invisible evil-doer, lurking in my subconscious, trying to persuade me into being malicious???

I don't appreciate it.

.... But it was so poetic at the same time.

[devastator1775]

The weirdest thing happened to me when I woke up this morning. I couldn't read the clock anymore. Yeah, I still ould read the numbers, but I couldn't read the time. Like I'd forgotten it completely. This happened for like half a minute before I wike up enough to realize the time. Was really weird. Something like yhat happened to y'all before? Any other strange just-woke-up-phenomenoms?

[felleddowntherabbithole]

The land between restlessness and wakefulness is where I dream to be.