The Bells Around My Ankle

Nei-Ning / ♀️/ 39 / 🇫🇮 / ISTJ / Autistic + ADHD + Depression + Severe Anxiety / Autumn, winter, animals, chocolate, candles / Multifandom (TMNT, JJK, KNB, Blue Lock, Dynasty Warriors etc) / Ship and Let Ship! Meanies, porn blogs, spams, asking money to Gaza etc. bots WILL be reported & blocked.

[nei-ning]

There was about 10 years old boy in the market. He tried to pay but apparently he didn't have enough money on his card / bank account.

So, I stepped in, stating I'll pay it. Cashier was a bit stunned but agreed. I "lost" 20€ but the kid got his thing. He was very thankful.

I want to make one thing clear. I've been in the same situation in the past when I was young. Went to store, tried to buy food but had no money in the end. Result? All these adults just stared at me while I gathered all things back in the basket, taking them all back to their places, returning home to my little brother empty handed. We had NO food so I was devastated.

It left some traumas in me so, yeah, wanted to make sure this boy wouldn't have to experience the same.

[nei-ning]

Had to buy myself new phone when I was visiting sis since my ancient old Sony Xperia L3 started to show signs it's coming to it's end. It has Android 8 when it should have been Android 16 :'D

My phone stopped updating apps and even the Android itself. It also started to show that I had either gotten a text message or messenger message when, in reality, I hadn't gotten any. Also the keyboard started to be grumpy and not pop up when I would have needed it. Not to mention memory space was running out even that I had Micro SD Card (my phone didn't save in it automatically, I had to copy files in it).

So my new beloved is now Motorola Moto G06 Power. Loving it so far even that it's ALWAYS PAIN IN THE ASS (and horrible anxiety in the mind) to put new phone in "shape", to be in your liking. But now it, finally, is more or less how I want and like it to be :D Some photos stayed in my old phone but I can move them from there.

All what I really need is to find (and edit / cut) new text message sound. I hate phone's own ones :'D I had 2014's TMNT Raphael's "Cowabunga" for YEARS so... Now I might want something from Suwabe Junichi (Grimmjow / Aomine / Sukuna) or from Hiroaki Miura (Gan Ning). Something short but clear so that I will hear it :D

[nei-ning]

I love this bastard SO MUCH! It's fun how you instantly "recognize / find" your faves with first look :D

Such a HUGE shame he had so little screen time... I would have loved to see so much more of him. He pleases my eyes from every possible angle and in every possible way <3

I think I will call him "my bastard son", he goes very close to Shidou (Blue Lock) who I call "my lunatic and perverted gay “demon”" :D He's amazing and adorable lunatic <3

[nei-ning]

Even that Syura is sadistic bastard who rape and abuse women, killing other people as he pleases etc. shit stuff, I STILL love this jerk SO MUCH! :D He is gorgeous and his back / backside, mhmhmhm ~ Don't mind me drooling here on my keyboard ~

Mature warning on since Tumblr / some Tumblr users are allergic to butts.

[nei-ning]

I wasn't going to buy flowers this summers since I know I can't take care of them, couldn't last year either ( plus can barely take care of myself) but then I saw these beauties yesterday and... I couldn't resist.

Today I did redo small front yard's flowerbed. The mold / dirt in it was so dry and OLD that I had to remove everything out of it. Tho, I found wild strawberry growing next to it so I took one and planted it in the flowerbed :D I also found "baby rowan" growing next to the flowerbed. It would have been cut down eventually as a "weed" so I saved it in a little pot. I hope it likes it and will grow big and healthy! :D

But yeah, something simple since I can't muster energy or even willpower (anymore) to take care of plants and flowers, no matter how much I love them. I admit the flowerbed COULD use more green but... maybe next year.

[nei-ning]

If you still haven't watched "Go For It, Nakamura-Kun!!", please DO! It has SO MUCH wonderful expressions, such as this! :D I've been laughing my ass off!

[nei-ning]

Watch Go for It, Nakamura-kun!! All Episodes with English Subtitles - BLZone

Watch All Episodes of Go for It, Nakamura-kun!! with English Subtitles Online | BLZone BL Series

Youtube recommended me short video about "Go for it, Nakamura-kun!!" anime. I watched it maybe 2-3 months ago, finally remembered it and went for it. Only 3 episodes behind for now (there's 10 in total).

-- and I LOVE IT! It's absolutely wonderful, hilarious, GREAT expressions, fantastic voice actors and SO DARN CUTE (old) anime style! I CAN'T! So far loving everyone and everything in it!

Know I'm HELL PICKY about anime, music, games etc. so when I praise / recommend something, it's really something :D

PS. Know that this is BL anime! Hell cute one! >:D

[nei-ning]

"Look at the sky so blue, don't worry, my beauty moon. You still have time left, life's miracles' to be met."

Something I came up in sauna. I'm not sure is the last sentence right since I'm not poetry person... ^^; This is actually my very first poem.

[nei-ning]

I met my ex co-worker today after 12-13 years! :D She had grew more older (brown hair starting to have gray ones). I eyed her from further away, not being sure is it her. Then she approached me and asked if I remembered her.

Of course I did! :D How I could forget!? She's absolutely LOVELY person and one of the best persons I've ever worked with! <3

She then smiled and said: "I was just thinking of you the other day and here you are!". After this she asked how I've been doing and I told her that I'm on disability pension because of my severe autism (told her fast version of the whole story from the past 2-3 years) and she was stunned but also relieved I had gotten help.

Then I told her I fear our ex-boss (she retired soon after I stopped my work in her company) hates me since I didn't know about her retirement until too late and didn't bring her a gift or anything. Her expression softened so much and she went all:

"Aawwh, oh no! Nothing like that!"

I have told her this before, as well as to our ex-boss, that this flower shop where I worked with them has been my absolute BEST place where I've ever worked! <3 Like honestly and truly!

It was right thing to get out of work life after the best one, I think.

[nei-ning]

My little brother told me good news today! Koei has finally revealed that Dynasty Warriors 3 Remastered version will be published in October 1st! :D <3

What I've seen in the trailer, I'm liking what I see, mostly. Tho, the battle system seems to mimic (even a bit) of DW Origins and I HATED that! Not only that but the "main character" from DW Origins has been ADDED in DW3 Remastered! WHY!? He has NOTHING TO DO in and with this game series so about that I AM PISSED! >:O

Another thing, what I was hell scared about, was Gan Ning's look since I HATED his look in original DW3 :'D I always played as Zhao Yun, skbak! But, much for my relief he doesn't look all THAT BAD but... He is missing something what later Gan Ning forms has. Something which caught my eye and made me love him from head to toes <3

And my beautiful and beloved Diao Chan! <3 Played a lot as her in DW3 <3

[niuniente]

Neuromoninaisuus työelämässä

Nyt on mahdollista päästä kertomaan omia kokemuksia työelämästä neuropoikkeavana, olipa sinulla (jo) virallinen diagnoosi tai ei. Työterveyslaitos tekee virallista tutkimusta aiheesta "Neuromoninaisuus suomalaisessa työelämässä". Kyselyssä keskitytään kokemuksiin ja tarpeisiin työnhaussa ja työelämän arjessa sekä työkykyyn ja työhyvinvointiin. Tällä kerätään tietoa neuroepätyypillisten henkilöiden työelämäkokemuksista, jotta työpaikkoja voidaan kehittää entistä neuroystävällisemmiksi.

Kysely on suunnattu kaikille, jotka kokevat kuuluvansa johonkin neurovähemmistöön diagnoosista tai sen olemassaolosta riippumatta. Jos tunnistat itsessäsi esimerkiksi ADHD:n tai autismikirjon piirteitä tai oppimisvaikeuksia, voit vastata kyselyyn. Diagnoosia ei tarvita.

VASTAA TÄÄLLÄ: https://link.webropolsurveys.com/Participation/Public/68f24b3a-5884-4dfc-a4d8-99c9b9df3ebe?displayId=Fin3672034

[nei-ning]

I normally NEVER haven't had any "goals" in my life and I'm 39 for God's sake :'D But last year it changed. Last year I was: "Autism diagnose. End of story." and you know? I got it! I got it and was also released on disability pension because my autism is so severe.

Earlier this month I made the decision to start to lose weight. Seriously, I need it since I'm 163cm and weight almost 90 kilos which is A LOT. So I left sweets, sugars, wheat, rice, potatoes etc. out. I'm trying to follow keto diet more or less since I've a stomach which get upset hell easily.

Then yesterday I noticed Sukuna's forehead mark looks like "44" (which is important spiritual sign, message and number to me). Well, Sukuna bothered me so much that I went to his folder (yes, I have picture folder for him in my laptop) and saw this pic which I had seen on Pinterest:

So... I'm wondering is THIS YEAR'S theme: Sexy as Fuck? :D Because it would go SO WELL together on my try to lose weight.

Then I can be sexy together with Sukuna, ajahaj! :'DDDD <3

[nei-ning]

I checked my Pinterest today (it's been a while!) and apparently Sukuna is NOT happy about my weight lost project :'D I haven't done it in a long time (was stuck at sis and there's no room to exercise).

[nei-ning]

Hell long and weird dream last night! As shortly as possible:

I was in some weird factory place with sis and I had bought myself 4 new games. However, I was the main character in some of them. As I stood in this factory's hall area, knowing there's collapsed black gothic church (HUGE) behind me, I told sis:

"There's huge T-Rex behind me (I heard him walk and roar), I'm NOT going there! I have wasted enough ammo and there's only ONE PLACE hell far away where I can get them so NO THANKS! I don't want to die! Then secondly -"

I climbed up these metallic stairs a bit so that I could see this tinier open space on second level. "There's going to be a boss in this area as well. I'm not going there, either."

I came back down and said to sis: "I'm stuck here. I hate these games. I'm pissed I bought them." Then I show her 4 of them, 3 of them I don't remember but they were similar to Final Fantasy game series or something. Last one was Dragon Ball Z since Vegeta was on the cover.

"This game was only 8 euros, this was 5 and this was 9. Dragon Ball Z I keep since I know I can play it." I chuckled to sis while showing her the games.

Then I ended up going through the factory and church area while dodging and hiding from enemies (humans, that huge T-Rex etc.). At one point there was TMNT2003 boys too to help me hide while Leo and Don, at least, fought against humans but apparently Splinter was there too and he wasn't happy about his sons showing themselves since this was hiding practice session for them.

After all this I ended up in this cave with tunnels where was streams of lava! I somehow managed to get through them and out of there alive (it was all hell weird! Jump down, walk on wooden pathway, climb up, crawl out etc.) and then I suddenly realize I'm waking up in this dream. I'm laying on tiny bedroom's floor near the bed. Very beautiful brown and wooden room, like from a tiny Finnish cabin! <3 I instantly know I'm in Teemu Selänne's home (he's legendary Finnish ex-ice hockey player) as I lay on the floor. I know everyone else (Teemu and his family) are waiting for me to wake up in the living room. As I turn to look at my phone's clock in the dream, it's 19:19 (07:19pm). I then slowly start to wake up for real.

Don't know about anything else but the numbers in the dream are very good signs even that the dream itself was hell weird and extremely exhausting. It sucks I CAN'T record my dreams since you guys wouldn't BELIEVE how nuts they are!

[nei-ning]

Something very fast and simple about my favorite guys <3

[nei-ning]

Spiders have something to say to me for sure! When I was still at sis', I saw tiny light colored spider making a string of web while flying forward with the find! I have never seen that happen live and it was AMAZING to see! How amazing skill is that! :D

Then I also had a dream where I was in my old home and this HELL HUGE (horse size) black spider came to me, turned her rear towards me and started to shoot me with her eggs/babies! I kept swinging them off of me as they climbed on my legs etc. When she started to be finished, I had to dig out 3 dead spider babies out of my mouth (size of a raisin).

Now, after I bathed in sauna, I found this big spider on bathroom's door frame. Extremely light brown in color with very black stripes on "both side of it's head" with "black furry antennas" or something. Never seen anything like that in my life! So, yeah, it spooked me a bit all of the sudden :'D

Not to worry, tho! I took a glass and an envelope, gently sealing and carrying the spider out in the glass. I do not kill any animal unless it's suffering.

I've been online now, maybe 30min or more, searching what spider it could be and CLOSEST to this spider what I encountered is Kangasodakki (Zora Spinimana). Apparently it's also more or less rare spider since there's no many reports about it being seen - or then the information is just HELL HARD to find!

But either way, I am happy and honored that the spider decided to bless me with his / her presence! <3

[nei-ning]

I had a disturbing dream last night. I will label this post as mature content because if it + right tags.

In the dream there were 3 men. One was laying on his back on the yard's grass, near yard light at dark autumn evening. Second man was more or less laying on his side next to guy 1, his arm going over his chest like if he just had ran after the guy 1, caught him and fell down with him. Guy number 3 was laying on top of guy 1's legs.

Guy 1, with guy 2, looked down at the guy 3 who started to bite guy 1's injured leg, sliding down this blood covered gauze on guy 1's right leg under the knee. It clearly hurt since guy 1, once, made such soul and guts twisting pleading "Stop". I honestly have NEVER heard such voice! It still twists my guts!

But the guy 3 didn't listen. When he kept pulling and biting the gauze off, I saw guy 1's leg. It was empty and black inside, his bones visible and bloody. No muscles or anything else. I think at this point, the latest, the guy 2 also told guy 3 to stop - but he didn't.

Instead he was butt naked now with guy 1, took some of the guy 1's blood, used it as lube and started to ride guy 1. He was in horrible pains but the guy 2 didn't do anything (he had moved away from now) and I heard guy 3's voice in my head, like if I was watching a document. I remember his saying softly: "I didn't care." He didn't sound evil, tho, but he also didn't sound like someone who regretted his actions. Not fully, at least.

But yeah, he didn't care about guy 1 or his pain, he didn't care about himself not actually feeling good while riding guy 1 but he also didn't feel bad for doing it. He didn't care or even feel anything. Nothing. Nothing evil, nothing good. Just pure emptiness.

But the feeling was still so sickening, seeing blood spray from guy 3's ass at times whenever he rode down (it was guy 1's blood and I'm sure he was actually bleeding from his penis), as well as those painful moans from guy 1 (because of his leg) that I had enough and noped myself away from the dream, waking up.

I don't know is this because I returned back home, bedroom is like a storage room with too much stuff everywhere instead of it being clean and calming. Like a real bedroom SHOULD BE. I've been so pissed ever since I came back home yesterday. I'm sure it's ONLY because there's too much stuff in every room.

[movetonewaccount]

Hello, I’m back (and miss him badly again)