Normal brains: "I'm hungry. I desire a hamburger."
My brain, unprompted: "Of all the ways one can consume a hamburger, by far the wisest strategy is to flip it upside-down when biting into it. This ensures the thicker upper bun will absorb juices, directs all burger toppings towards the tongue, and places the onus of punching through both bun and topping with the stronger and more dexterous lower jaw. Furthermore, by using one's fingers to grip the thin lower bun in place, it prevents said bun from sliding against the patty and away from one's mouth during each bite. Hm? Am I hungry? Difficult to say. I'll check later. Anyhow, as I was saying, with the optimal consumption method in mind we can now speculate on the optimal hamburger layout..."
