#hamishhartkin

[fictionkinfessions]

watching the kingsman movies always make my heart feel so heavy. i miss harry. and eggsy and roxy and tilde and whiskey and GOD i just miss everyone so much. i hope they know that, wherever they are now. especially harry. - hamish hart

[fictionkinfessions]

canonception:

yes, actually. i didn't consider it kin then (just didn't have the vocabulary for it, really) but i suppose it's the best way to describe it. i was (still am?) jim prideaux from tinker tailor soldier spy (2011) in a past life. go fucking figure, harry was bill haydon. i don't remember much of it anymore but i know in that life it was very vivid, and that harry and i separately had very strong reactions to meeting each other for the first time at kingsman.

the only reason why i ever remembered it in this life is because years ago i saw people joking about harry and i being those characters in past lives (since they share actors; the actors who portray us have been in multiple projects together) and that just hit me like a fucking truck. oh yeah, we /were/ spies in a past life as well, and we /did/ have a somewhat torrid love affair, and i /did/ kill you in that life. bloody hell.

we were more normal the second time around (normal as you can get being spies i guess) and we didn't try to kill each other, actually (...for the most part. there are relevant things i could say about the training for my job that i will perhaps divulge in at a later date). it wasn't a thing that we were super focused on in our day to day but we would make sly little jokes about it that only we understood, which i still think is fun.

though he technically still is a past life, i don't consider jim important enough to be on my actual kin list because i don't have nearly as strong a connection to him as i did then. i also don't think i figured out any other things relating to past lives or kinnity then, i just /knew/ from the moment we met that harry and i had met before, even though we hadn't actually met before in that life specifically. just a fun little tidbit about me, i suppose.

- hamish hart (a.k.a. merlin) ♠ (kingsman)

x

[fictionkinfessions]

funny, i'm currently reading the murde.rbot diaries and i keep thinking to myself "i think secunit and i would get a long great", but specifically within the context pf me being merlin.

i was human and all but as someone whose job it partially was to help keep people alive, and with just about the same amount of emotional capabilities as it, it's weirdly relatable to me in a lot of way. having to watch other people have sex as part of your job with genuine discomfort and disgust? check. reluctant fondness for a select group of people? check. the people you work for treating you with moderate to severe disdain? check. repeatedly getting roped into shit you don't want to be apart of? check. needing to "have an emotion in private"? god, me fucking too man.

honestly, it's even funnier considering i'm fairly certain i'm not kin with murderbot itself. like it's not /me/ but it /is/ just like me fr, you know?

- hamish hart (a.k.a. merlin) ♠️ (kingsman)

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

well, since i'm around again i suppse. lgbt canons:

gay, asexual, transgender man, though if i was being completely honest, that last part was a bit wishy washy. i didn't really care to label my gender but i did prefer to present masculinely, and calling myself a man on paper just made things easier. that's about as much i'll elaborate on that.

anyhow. still madly in love with my fellow gayace husband. we really did just luck out in finding each other, i think, with both of us being gayace and all. of course even if he wasn't asexual, i still probably would have been willing to be with him if he was still willing to be with me, but i digress.

happy pride, especially to any other kingsman kins out there. stay safe. x

- hamish hart (a.k.a. merlin) ♠️

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

i will always be sad that i got cut out of the wedding scene in TGC (because i Was supposed to be there; i ended up getting cut out to make the ending more impactful. i understand why. i am still upset by it). there were harrowingly few things that would have made me miss eggsy's wedding and i want you all to be damn sure that getting blown up was not one of them. i don't think i'd ever call him my son (because he wasn't, if anything harry was more deserving of claiming him as such than i) but we'd been through so much together, and he was genuinely very very dear to me. there was just no way i couldn't be there to see my boy get married.

- hamish hart (a.k.a merlin) ♠️ (kingsman)

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

i'm rewatching my source for the first time in. oh i don't know, four? five years?? and. lord am i feeling a lot of emotions right now.

eggsy, roxy, i cannot tell you how proud i was of you both. i never would have told you to your faces, nor would i have ever developed the vulnerability to, but i have now and i need you to know that. you were some of the finest kingsmen i ever had the pleasure of working with and some of my dearest friends and i've still kept you in my thoughts after all this time. please take care of yourselves.

harry, you know i love you, you don't need need me to tell you twice. but i'm doing it anyways. i love you, so very very much. i miss being with you and listening to you talk about your butterflies and all the nights we'd spend together just talking shit and making each other happy. you were so much sillier than you made yourself out to be and i loved when i got to see those breaks in your façade that you wouldn't allow around most others, it just made me feel... special. i can only hope i'd made you as happy as you made me.

sending you three all my love and best wishes. may our paths cross again, one of these days.

- hamish hart (a.k.a merlin) ♠️ (kingsman)

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

randomly started thinking abt kingsman the oteher day so obviously i have to pop back in and talk about my husband. if you're out there harry, i miss you a lot and i hope this life has been kind to you. don't get shot without me again you daft fool. i still love you so much. - hamish hart

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

Gosh I sure do love my husband Harry. Love missing him every waking moment of my life. - Hamish Hart (Merlin)