@handraste
Levy paced the length of the barracks. His hands felt wet, slimy, but he’d washed them off the blood and lyrium half a dozen times and he folded them together in front of him to keep from doing it again. The red on his knuckles made him uneasy, and he looked somewhere else.
He refused to look at Meji. She...laid on one of the cots, there, chest rising and falling in shallow, rapid breaths as the taint worked its way through her bloodstream. Any moment now and she’d either fall into sleep and experience her first Warden nightmare or...or she wouldn’t. Levy swallowed and choked on the lump in his throat. He had to lean against the wall for a moment to catch his breath as panic came over him again. He’d nearly dropped the chalice the first time he thought about what he was doing.
It was the first time he’d seen her in a year. After Kinloch he’d...he’d told her to run and never look back at the Circle again. He’d hoped, he’d prayed, at she was safe and healthy, but he hadn’t expected to see her again. He thought was dreaming when he’d found her passing through Amaranthine. And now she could be dying. At least she’d had a chance if she kept running, rather than go through with the Joining. But she always did have too much faith in him. More than he deserved. Maker, everything about her was more than he deserved. And it was finally coming around to bite them both in the leg.
Leverette staggered to one of the closer beds and sat down heavily on the corner of the cot. He’d killed everyone he’d loved. Meji included, maybe. He didn’t know if he could survive it.
