#handsomejackkin

[fictionkinfessions]

Shout out to all the fellow kin who don't know their canon kill count because they were just kinda of. Going nuts. Getting a little silly. Blowing up a planet or just, shooting down some masses

Was I good? Absolutely not. Did it already happen? Yeah so, yaknow. Shout out

-Habdsome Jack

#🐏🩸🍄

✉

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

u ever abruptly remember ur surname n just. sigh loudly bc Of Course ~(handsome) jack jakobs

[fictionkinfessions]

Its so FUCKING weird being able to see out of my left eye. Like thank fuck of course but I keep anticipating pain when I 1st wake up and having my vision be FUCKED and surprised it's not. I'm just grateful I guess and anxious about when the hallucinatory pain is going to kick in because it usually does at some point and combined with the pain I already am in... it's not pretty. I just hope I manage to get through this shift without that happening but considering my history. I just don't know

Handsome Jack (🍾🌐)

placeholder text because tumblr wont let me post ask messages without something in the reply box

[fictionkinfessions]

It's funny, I don't know what to call myself. Like, I'm Jack, from the Borderlands games, but I'm not Handsome Jack. That guy was the headmate who kinda took over our body but it wasn't his fault he was frontstuck. Long story, I think I've told it here before. Point is, I don't remember my last name and canon doesn't give it to me as far as I've seen (I saw one random one thrown in on a link when I googled it but it's not backed up by anything and didn't feel right so yeah, no). So I can't be Jack whatever-my-last-name-was 'cause that's kinda lost to the mists of time or whatever. But I certainly can't be Handsome Jack. And Jack is such a generic name, it doesn't point anyone anywhere or clarify anything. So I'm just kinda stuck when I want to slap a name on anything I say here, that or I pick some kind of tag that's all mine but honestly, that's a lot of work and I'm not up to being that creative. Maybe I'll do it someday. Dunno what it'd be, though, since I'm still not sure what I liked or who I was separate from him. Interesting side-note, I guess I kinda was the inspiration for the digi-clone idea? He said something about how "there's two of us in here, why not have another two, in a way". So that's cool and tbh a bit sweet, in a weird way that I'm not sure anyone but me would see. Oh, and other side-note, fuck people who say my/our "real name" was "John". Maybe that was the name I was given at birth (and maybe some other Jacks don't feel this way) but I went by Jack because that's the name I identified with, both of us did, neither of us was "John" no matter how much those assholes at Hyperion wanted to call us that before he kinda made it official policy that anyone who called us that went out the airlock (he definitely went overboard but to be fair, that policy was never put into action because no one ever did it again, I would've tried to get him to just fire them like a normal boss when someone is disrespectful beyond reason). It wasn't even on our papers at the time of the events of TPS, they just kept using that name because they were ASSHOLES. Thought their asshole-ness was clear but I guess some people don't understand the idea that the name someone goes by is generally their real name. Assholes.

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

Hey, Tassiter.

Not a day goes by where I don't regret strangling you as late as I did into knowing you.

Should have done it the first second I had the goddamn chance.

Love, Handsome Jack <3

📦

[fictionkinfessions]

Damn, really hate how the Borderlands creators made a Pride post showcasing all their LGBTQ+ characters and I'm not included. I. I'm not. Straight? I was absolutely 100% a disaster pansexual of a man. Also Rhys wasn't on it either? Lol that boy isn't straight either.

- Handsome Jack

[fictionkinfessions]

Hey-hey, it's my favorite Hyperion Janitor again! Nice to see ya, buddy, hope things are going good. Glad to hear the switch had made playing the games easier, hope you're having much more fun.

Do me a favor and laugh at whatever happened to Rhys's sense of style in canon when you see him, alright? (I did not let him grow an 80s porn-stache in any of my timelines, but it's the best thing I get to tease him with.)

Your Self-Designated Parasocial Friend, Handsome Jack

'

[fictionkinfessions]

It's so messed up seeing all that ship drama involving me. You guys seriously need to calm down and be at the very least decent to each other. - Handsome Jack