#hansovid

[flawney]

WIP Wednesday

Hansovid we could have had

Tagged by @loki-is-my-kink-awakening

Tagging (if you want to do it!) @siflshonen @inexplicifics @penandinkprincess @panur

[panur]

post elopement/Hansovid Radovid settles into what passes as 'domestic' life with his disaster bard, and finally finds a fulfilling profession by writing trashy romance novels

like, he invents bodice rippers but for men (doublet rippers??? XD) under the pen name R.C. Prince (THANKS FOR THE BEST PSEUDONYM EVER @flawney)

Radovid: they called me insane, but i know what the market wants!

he writes 2-4 of these a year and they sell like hot cakes XD

Yes, Cahir knows they're terrible, yet reads all of them. For the plot.

Radovid: the plot about noblemen getting railed?

Cahir: write one about knights.

[panur]

omg guys i just realized...

the hansa is 6 people

and with hansovid…

jaskier: *jotting down notes furiously* this shit writes itself!

[panur]

‘What a company I ended up with,’ Geralt continued, shaking his head. ‘Brothers in arms! A team of heroes! What have I done to deserve it? A poetaster with a lute. A king who abdicated to elope with the very same poetaster. A wild and lippy half-dryad, half-woman. A vampire, who’s about to notch up his fifth century. And a bloody Nilfgaardian who insists he isn’t a Nilfgaardian.’ ‘And leading the party is the Witcher, who suffers from pangs of conscience, impotence and the inability to take decisions,’ Regis finished calmly. ‘I suggest we travel incognito, to avoid arousing suspicion.’ ‘Or raising a laugh,’ Milva added. 'Also, I was a prince when I eloped.' Radovid added, quite primly. 'You're a king??' Cahir shouted, distraught.

― edited quote from Andrzej Sapkowski, Baptism of Fire

[panur]

meanwhile on the Radskier discord

Ok this came to me in a vision and it was too cute not to share so sending it on in case it inspires someone

----

[Image of a Discord chat between Panur and fannishbutterfly on the radskier discord chat]

Panur — Today at 9:01 AM guys i imagiened future hansovid w older jask and radovid curled in bed with 4 cats and faro and help TAT it was so cute i ve decided older radovid needs glasses it's not a want, it's a need

fannishbutterfly — Today at 10:28 AM Silver threaded through his strawberry blond waves, little gold rounded rectangle frames perched on his nose, a book in his lap that he's reading aloud, dog curled up next to him on one side, one cat sleeping on his feet, one trying to walk across the pages of the book because Radovid isn't paying it enough attention, one draped across his shoulders looking very much like the fur collar of his cloak, Jaskier listening to him read, curled up on the side where the dog isn't, the fourth cat draped over his bum…yes please?

Panur — Today at 10:48 AM YOU, YOU GET IT THE VISION

#it's free real estate prompt just tag me so i can read

[naumaxia-art]

Portrait practice

[panur]

Radovid Joins the Hansa

At the Radskier discord we are Goncharov-ing what Radovid-joins-the-hansa (aka: Hansovid) AU would be like and here's some of the ideas shared so far:

the exact details on HOW this happens are not set in stone (Did Radovid escape before Vizimir got offed, leaving Pip and Siggi without a convenient spare? After? More importantly, does he have the annuity??), but some headcanons are:

Art major nerd perk, Radovid knows a lot about slightly more practical things, like art, history and architecture and sometimes weird law facts that he personally found interesting

barding- under Jaskier's tutelage, Radovid's playing has improved dramatically, which is great because unlike jaskier who is kind of recognizable, Radovid can more easily go into towns as a perfectly average, unremarkable bard, making getting items/information while keeping anonymity (they usually pair him up w Regis for safety reasons)

Very good at looking dumb and pretty and quite pathetic which makes people underestimate him more

Courtly training so he's polite and educated… and good at remembering faces and names.

THE ONE NORMAL PERSON IN THIS GROUP. Radovid often ends up being the most sensible/practical person in a situation simply by process of elimination. Radovid will read a potion saying 'drink me' and...not do it. He'll see spoopy shit and walk the fuck out. He's the guy who asks who's on the other side before opening to sus knocking.

he's very bad at athletic stuff and takes awhile to build stamina, but at least this time everyone's got horses and boots so it balances out

Radovid is not good at self defense BUT does have some concept of swordsmanship/archery… from like like 20 years ago. He is, however, decided not to be a burden and not to get left behind. He's especially invested in protecting Jaskier- who Radovid is horrified to find- is even more useless than he himself is (bitch you live like this??).; Because Radovid has common sense and self preservation instincts, things jaskier is mostly lacking).

he eventually starts getting lessons from Cahir and Milva when time permits, and healing stuff from Regis. He's got excellent memory and attention to detail, but remains average at swordsmanship/archery.

he is, however, fairly good with a crossbow (no the wrist ones from TW3, the bigger ones ).

he also gets a cute ponytail/braid and smiles more! (original art by naumaxia-art)

Still too weaksauce for the path?

we've named him 'Faro', after a type of Cintran beer

He's a Polish Tatra Sheepdog and was acquired by the group when Geralt was handling a monster infestation. Unfortunately neither the puppo's owners, nor his sheep were spared, but puppo not only survived, but saved Jask and Radovid and became extremely protective of them.

I imagine the acquisition goes something like:

Geralt: absolutely not. Radovid: I'm calling for a vote! Milva: You. You're calling for a vote? Radovid: why not? is this not a democracy? Radovid: I'm of course voting to keep him. Jaskier: I second the vote to keep the very handsome boy! Angoulême: come on Geralt, we'd never have found where the Barghest were coming from without him, AND he saved your bard from walking straight into it. Jaskier: yes Geralt, he saved your bard! Geralt: fine, then I vote no. Milva: I'm not taking care of any more mutts than I have to Radovid: he's clearly purebred! Cahir: still no. Geralt: see? We are done here Angoulême: *the little shit* nunca hasn't voted yet. Geralt: *sigh* Regis, can you please tell them so we can leave? Regis: Geralt: Regis. Geralt: Regis, no Regis: *trying not to smile like he's entirely charmed* … well, he is a very handsome boy.

In the end Regis suggest they at least try to get him to civilization so he can be adopted by a good family, but in the week it takes to get to it, Faro proves himself the MVP, not only will it defend the weakest party members, but it's a vert smart dog who will deter wolves/and will bodily shepherd jaskier away from dangerous areas/items as needed.

the one and only drawback is that Jaskier and Radovid can no longer have obnoxiously loud sex since Faro gets stressed thinking they're getting hurt and will try to intervene, effectively cockblocking them.

Finally Geralt gets some (relative) #blessedsilence

Geralt: *hugging the dog* I'm so sorry i ever doubted you

feel free to add to this!

#it's free real estate prompt just tag me so i can read