#happysad

[luna-fire-starter]

✨👁️🥊👁️✨

[niesmialo-sc]

Z każdą chwilą coraz mniej mnie, coraz więcej cienia.

Happy sad

[drewnozerca]

[churchofthelemmingz]

Pamiętam, że kiedy pierwszy raz usłyszałem tę piosenkę, poczułem, że moje życie stało się odrobinę lepsze

[shadow-diary]

I tak czasem sobie myślę, że oj lepiej byłoby, gdyby nie było mnie.

Happysad

[nadsdraws]

Knocking on Heaven's Door [T]

Edward and Izzy find each other at the very end of their lives. This doesn’t stop them from enjoying what little remaining time they have together.

Tags: MCD, angst, modern AU, edizzy, they love each other

“We’re here, Iz. We’ve made it. The ocean,” Ed waves his hand in front of the vast body of water in front of them as if in an introduction. Deep blue all the way to the horizon, rippling in the wind. 

Izzy understands the appeal now, he feels a vague pull towards it himself. An impulse to board the first outgoing ship and sail away.

But he’s not going to, they’re not going to. Both having an expiration date on their bodies; the only question being who will go first. 

“Iz? Are you okay?” Ed’s voice pulls him out of his train of thought. He looks so beautiful and carefree against the backdrop of the setting sun, wind blowing through his curls. “Having regrets?”

“No,” Izzy finds himself saying, and smiling despite stealing a car and breaking at least half a dozen laws. It’s surreal they made it all the way to the beach. 

It feels like a miracle. It is a miracle. Just like meeting Ed at the hopeless hospital ward for teminally ill. Just like drinking rum with Ed from the same bottle, thinking that it’s practically kissing. Like Ed asking “wanna do something weird?” before they ran away from the hospital together. 

Like having Edward all to himself a few days later in a hotel room. 

“I don’t regret a thing.” Izzy repeats, and he means it. “I just wish we had more time.”

“Nah, Iz, don’t.” Ed shakes his head. “It’s better that way. You got to see the best of me. How long do you think it could last Iz, with someone like me? A year? Five years?” 

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Ed. At least ten.” 

Edward huffs a laugh at that. “Maybe, maybe. I did not peg you for an optimist, mate.”

Izzy knows Edward enough now to see through his attempts to deflect the difficult conversations.

“I know what you think of yourself, Ed. And it's not true. You are trying so hard to make people like you, but you don’t have to. It’s okay to show the ugly parts, we all have them. You are lovable, not despite them but because of them. Five years or a year—I don't care, I’d take it.”

“I know you would, Iz,” Ed smiles back, and it’s more open now, more genuine. “How long do you think we have left?”

“Oh, who the fuck knows. Till the evening maybe? Tomorrow? The day after that?”

“We can watch the sunset,” Ed offers, sitting down on the sand and opening his arms in an invitation. “Come over here and let me love you till the end of our lives.”

Izzy accepts it easily, cuddling to Edward’s side. Suddenly he feels the full weight of the past days on his  shoulders and he feels incredibly tired. He means to only close his eyes for a little bit, but Edward’s embrace is so warm he loses that battle rather quickly.

But it’s okay. 

Ed will join him soon.

[panna---nikt]

Nie obchodzi Cię to, czy ustoję, czy upadnę.

happysad

[porazka-totalna]

Ilu chłopców już miała

I czy była do wzięcia?

Ilu kochała

I trzymała w objęciach?

Złośliwi mówili na nią "niewinna"

-happysad