The world around him has been chaotic and it feels as though it has been out to get him for a long time now. Hurt and sorrow have been his constant companions for the last couple of months. He almost does not remember how it is to feel happy anymore. Yet, more than anything, even more than happines, he just yearns for peace. Only peace. His mind has been running races for what feels like centuries. Millenia. The what if's, and how's and why's crowd his thoughts on a daily and it seems as though he will never be able to escape them. He wishes and he longs for, and he imagines and he dreams. But he keeps himself locked up so tightly it feels like his own self is slipping further into the abyss every day, minute by minute, second by second, more and more. Peace. Just a little slice of peace. Perhaps he was not made for it. Nor meant for it.
And yet. When he catches a glimpse of the boy who makes his heart beat faster. When he struggles to breathe from all the longing and wishing, he imagines a world where this same boy could be his saving grace. His ruin, and his salvation. Because, though it feels like his hands cannot stop shaking and his skin cannot stop vibrating when he sets his eyes on this boy, it is a single touch that offers him respite. It is the blanket that they lay on, surrounded by dimming light, nothing but silence around them, that builds itself into a home. A place where he belongs. And then it all stops. He looks at the boy and his heart is full. His mind is at ease. And there's only one thought that lingers. Peace, at last.