#harold stein

[pjshermann]

Willem and Jude’s Lispenard apartment has rats so they got a cat. Harold is plotting to take her away to Cambridge.

[mister-sol]

and he cries and cries, cries for everything he has been, for everything he might have been, for every old hurt, for every old happiness, cries for the shame and joy of finally getting to be a child...

Harold and Jude from Hanya Yanagihara's "A Little Life". It's not what I usually post here, but I've had this scene on the back of my mind for a while now, and after rereading it for the millionth time I decided to give in and draw it. Put way too much of myself into this to not post it to my main, so here we are.

[harmonicas-posts]

-Brother Luke to Jude, page 424

-Harold to Jude, page 757

[lenucciaurl]

examined to death but i can't stop thinking recently about harold's having to outlive both of his sons

[tanalolo]

Honestly, my heart breaks for Harold like no one else. I mean I know he has not experienced half the horrible things that Jude has had to face but it is so hard to be the one supporting and standing by while others fade and you cannot help but just be the witness what the cruel fate has in store.

Especially, in the last chapter when he describes how so many of them died in their sixties or fifties and he's still there 84 but alive having to witness each and everyone's death while no one is there (and also JB too). Not to even begin about Jacob, like man is cursed to just stay and see people from his life, with whom he has built life, leave him and the pain of that is immeasurable.

I'm not even a parent, but seeing him hold on to this role of parenthood so tightly while it only seems to take from him breaks my heart, like I cannot even imagine seeing your family member break and disappear slowly, let alone them being your child. Sometimes, i wonder, if his life indeed would have been easier or not had he just had another child with Liesl and if that child survived.

P.s. additionally breaks my heart that despite all this Jude has this image that Harold might abuse him though Harold has nothing but loving to him (IK it is more in his head and Harold was never aware of this but still) breaks my heart that he would never be able to remove that image from Jude's imagination.

[eibhlin-dubh]

I just finished reading a little life for the third time, and I have a theory I want to share: Harold is modelled after Horatio. Not only the similarity of their names, but also the fatherly friend to the depressed main character, and most importantly, the only one left alive to tell the others' story.

[exhausted-electron]

"You were treated horribly, you came out on the other end. You were always you."

— Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

[homo-house]

a little life - VI. dear comrade; ch. 3. (p. 677-678) by hanya yanagihara