Once they start getting over the shock of their son coming out as gay by revealing that he’s been sleeping with the slutty Russian enemy for the better part of a decade, Shane’s parents seem like pretty nice people. They clearly love Shane a lot. Ilya likes them.
Sadly, they clearly don’t like Ilya.
“They do like you,” Shane insists. “Dad made you pasta! And he got out the good vodka for you and everything.”
“Your mother thinks I am traitor to Boston,” Ilya points out. “Your father thinks I am not a nice man.”
“That’s not what—”
“They think I am promiscous.”
“They don’t think you’re promiscuous. They were just—”
“They probably think I will give you some terrible disease that will make your penis fall off.”
“I don’t—”
“They probably think I will cheat on you with lots and lots of women.”
“Hey! Can you have a little more faith in my parents, please?”
“And I ate all the Parmigiano,” Ilya says miserably. “It was very rude of me to eat all the Parmigiano.”
i was raised out in the cold (i was raised on little light) on ao3
