See Me and Live [H/D Mpreg 2024 Fic Claim]
See Me and Live by DodgerKedavra
Word Count: 37,730
Rating: E
Description: Harry and Draco are roommates. They're coworkers. They're secret boyfriends. And now they're having a baby together!?
“Pansy,” Harry hisses at Pansy’s shoulder, partially exposed by the haphazard drape of her dressing gown. “What the fuck?” “I can’t come,” Pansy moans, then sniffles loudly. “I’m ill, Harry. You know how Draco gets when he’s ill. It’s not worth the risk to both of you.” “You can’t do this to me.” Pansy is doing it to Harry—the doing is already in progress, which is why he’s crouched in front of the Floo in the workroom part of their offices at Park and Sons Private Eyes. “It’s not my choice. It’s not my fault. If I was healthy, you know I’d be there with my power skirt-suit on and my sunglasses in place and my red lipstick all ready to go. But I can’t get up. My head is throbbing.” “Take a potion!” “A potion won’t help.” Pansy coughs, a weak, pathetic little sound. It immediately raises Harry’s suspicions. What really raises his suspicions is that she wriggles her hips at the end of her cough. Harry’s not trying to look at her hips. Her dramatic sprawl puts her head halfway out of view on one end of the Floo and her hips at the other. Also, Harry happens to know that Pansy’s grate is one of those raised ones. It’s at least six inches off the floor. His former-Auror mind quickly deduces that she cannot possibly be lying on the floor. “Pansy,” he says. “I’ll be in tomorrow. Or Friday.” Pansy flaps her hand around. “When I’m fully recovered. If Draco catches this—” “If he catches loads of dick?” Harry says in his most accusatory voice. Pansy freezes. A second too late, she gasps. “How vulgar! How—” She remembers she’s supposed to be on her deathbed, tries to sniffle, and snorts instead. “How presumptuous! And how—how judgmental, Harry. There is nothing at all wrong with sexual congress and I would never begrudge Draco—” “Ron,” Harry shouts. “I know you’re there.” Pansy freezes again. From outside the grate comes a heavy sigh. A sigh that Harry knows very well. Since it’s a sigh coming from the mouth of one of his best friends in the world, Ronald Bilius Weasley. “Listen, mate—” Harry leans closer to the flames. “I wore the outfit. I’m dressed, Pansy.” “Go upstairs and change!” “I can’t.” “Why? Draco won’t see you stripping down and—” “He’ll hear!” “Well!” Pansy’s hand flaps around in the centre of the grate. “Good! He won’t be surprised!” “If he hears me coming, he will hex me, Pansy!” “Then announce yourself!” “What, just shout that I’m coming back upstairs against the routine because I have to get naked and—” “Why would you have to get naked?” Ron asks. “Because of you,” Harry shoots back. “Mate, I swear, none of this was my idea.” “It wasn’t? Really, Ron? Pansy put you in a Body-Bind and slithered all over your dick and—” Pansy snickers. “He’s not in a Body-Bind now.” “Merlin’s balls. Get off him and come to work. I’m dressed for the mission and you’re fine.” “I’m not,” Pansy whines. “I have a deficiency.” “A dick deficiency?” Harry shouts. “An emergency dick deficiency that’s causing you to totally abandon me? A dickficiency?” From the earthquake-level shaking in Pansy’s shoulders, she’s doing her best to hide belly laughs. “Vit—” Pansy makes several hissing sounds in a row that sound even more like suppressed laughter. “Vitamin D,” she chokes out.
I laughed so much writing this that I almost became injured. From laughing. I had the time of my LIFE.
Special thanks to @babooshkart for the anklet idea, which really brought this whole thing together!
