Ohh a Drabble ask! Feeling kinda angsty so can I have a McShep 22. Please and thank you ❤️
Uhg the angst! I suck at the angst! Writing this one was a bit of a gut punch because I hate having them broken up 🥺 but you asked for it so you get it! Thanks for the prompt 💜
22: Things you said after it was over
John headed to Rodney's room with a small bounce in his step. Two days off from missions ment some much needed downtime, and if Rodney was free a good old fashioned movie night. Those had been few and far between for them since Rodney had started seeing Jennifer.
Resetting their relationship back to friendship mode had been harder than John had expected. If he was honest, John still didn't fully understand what had gone wrong between them. Things had been fine; good work relationship, great sex. Then they had just started drifting apart and out of the blue Rodney started seeing Jennifer.
Being dumped without actually being dumped had hurt more than John was willing to let on. The first few weeks had been horribly awkward, but slowly things had started to feel at least somewhat like they had before they'd started sleeping together.
Reaching Rodney's room John knocked and after a moment's pause the door slid open. John's eyes widened at the state of the room. It was a complete mess, and not in the chaotic, dirty way it normally was. This was an organized mess of boxes and stacks of papers and drawers pulled out with their content neatly organized. This was a mess born from packing.
"Going somewhere?" John asked as the door closed behind him.
"Oh hey," Rodney said, emerging from the bathroom and stuffing a few things in a box before folding it shut. "Yeah moving to bigger quarters," he answered casually and picked up the box moving it closer to the door.
John sidestepped to be out of the way, and frowned at the other man. "Why?"
"Well my room's too small for two people to live in, and Jennifer's is too, so." He shrugged like it was no big deal.
"Oh," John said, eyes widening for a brief moment. "So I uh… take it things are going well with you guys." John knew very little about their relationship. Rodney didn't talk about it much around him and he had never really bothered to ask
"Yeah, things have been good. Really good," Rodney replied with a smile.
For some reason that stung quite a lot. It wasn't that John didn’t want Rodney to be happy, it was just seeing him happy with someone else seemed… unfair. Especially given that he didn't understand why things had ended between them. Because after all, they'd been happy… hadn't they?
"So um…" John cleared his throat, and then the words just tumbled out of him against his better judgment. "Did you ever tell her about us?"
Rodney pinched his brow in a frown, suddenly looking tense and serious. "No. Why would I do that?" He questioned, sounding upset.
"Gee, I don't know, because we dated for like... two years?" John responded a little agitated himself over Rodney’s apparent dismissal of their relationship.
Rodney barked a sharp laugh then glared at him. "We never dated John, remember?"
John frowned deeply, ready to protest but Rodney kept talking.
"We blew off steam, helped each other out, lended a hand, messed around…" he paused and shook his head. "Why do you look so confused, those were all your words."
"Rodney…" John didn't know what to say. He was surprised by the bitterness Rodney was showing him, it was something he never would've expected from him. "I thought what we had was good. If you were unhappy, why didn't you say anything?"
"You're joking right? Name one time we ever had a serious conversation about our relationship? Just one. I tried John, you wanted casual. And that was fine with me, for a while, and when it wasn't anymore I stopped wasting my time hoping for a real relationship, and I went and found one."
"What we had wasn't a waste of time!" John shouted, suddenly very angry. "And we did have a real relationship!"
"No, John, we had sex. Lots of sex. Lots of really great sex. But all the other stuff? The emotional attachment, the commitment, being open. That was all one sided, and a one sided relationship, isn't a relationship."
John's jaw dropped and he just stared at the other man. "Rodney I didn't know you felt that way."
"Of course you didn't," Rodney picked up one of his boxes and stepped towards the door causing it to open. "You never bothered to ask, and when I tried to talk you wouldn't listen."
John just stood there watching him go. The door slid shut and he was left alone, his feeling as disheveled as the room.
I recently attended a friend's wedding. While there my bf was telling us how she wants her wedding to be. Locations, center pieces and songs. After the discussion, I shared what the songs I will choose, should I get married. It was exciting only for the moment. After, I thought to myself. "Who am I kidding"? Who could love me enough to propose? Who would take a chance on me without using and hurting me? Im ugly and that's all there is to it.
NOTES: Puck finally realizes what's 'wrong' with Quinn
Puck watched as Quinn left the room as he talked to Mike about the recent football game. He figured now, out of all times, would be the best time to catch Quinn in a half decent mood. She was probably tired but he knew Glee usually cheered her up. Quickly picking up his empty bag he jogged down between the stairs and out of the choir room without saying goodbye to any of them. "Uh...Quinn?"
Quinn wasn't even halfway down the hall when she heard her name being called. Figuring she'd left her phone or something else behind she cocked an eyebrow and turned around. Her face fell slightly when she realized it had been Puckerman who had called her but she did her best to keep her cool. "What do you want, Puckerman?" She asked, placing a hand on her hip as she waited.
Puck smirked automatically at her stance. He literally couldn't win with this girl but that didn't stop him from trying. "Man, you're always so aggressive with me," he noted, stepping closer to her and hooking his thumbs into the straps of his bag. He wasn't quite sure where to start, or even what to say, he just knew he wanted to talk to her and get things cleared up. "How are you feeling? I mean, you keep saying you're fine but I wanted to check in anyway."
Quinn rolled her eyes before speaking, "you always give me a reason to be," she shot back. Looking up at him when he stepped closer she pursed her lips, wondering just how much he enjoyed bothering her. "Of course I'm fine, why does everybody keep asking me and expecting a different answer?" She snapped, her voice immediately turning cold. Hormones or not Quinn had no patience for this.
Puck counted to ten in his head and raised his eyebrow. "Chill out, Q. All I did was say your name," he frowned at her already feeling himself getting annoyed. He wasn't sure he could actually ever have a conversation with this girl that didn't result in an argument. "And we're asking cause you've been different since you came back from the doctors," he argued, his voice lowering just a little as the few leftover students passed them by.
Quinn found herself crossing her arms over her chest, exhaling slowly as she listened to him speak. Alright, so maybe he was right, and, in the grand scheme of things Quinn knew she should be grateful that so many people even cared about her. "I'm not different." She said as calmly as she could. "I told you what the doctor said, I'm in perfect health, it was just exhaustion from pushing myself too hard."
Puck nodded at what she said, having no other choice but than to believe her. But that didn't stop the nagging in the back of his mind telling him there was something more to this. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't just come outright and say the things he'd been hearing whispered around the hallways. "If you're sure?" he ducked his head down so he could catch her eyes and he licked his lips. "There's nothing else? Cause, like, you can tell me. Who am I going to tell?" Unconsciously his gaze dropped down to her lips before he looked back up at her.
Quinn pressed her lips together wishing she had some sort of escape route. She was stressed enough as is, the last thing she needed was for Puck to tell her she wasn't ok after insisting she was. Meeting his gaze with a hard glare she tilted her head just so before speaking. "I'm sure, Puckerman." Breaking eye contact she looked down at her shoes as he spoke, she really didn't need this right now. Why was he being so nice to her anyway? He didn't really care, did he? Of course not, he was Puckerman, he couldn't. Quinn wasn't sure if it was all the thinking or Puck catching her off guard, hell, maybe it was the pickles she's had on her sandwich at lunch, but she could feel her stomach twisting and turning. "I'd rather save it for my diary." She said sarcastically, hoping to end the conversation sooner rather than later.
Puck laughed a little through his nose and shook his head, he'd tried. "I still don't believe you but fine, go write it in your diary," he held his hands up like he was finished with the conversation. "Just so you know, you don't look too good though," he frowned a little worried and put his hand out to place on her arm, knowing full well she'd probably shove him off. She'd gone a little pale and she was pretty focused on the floor. "Do you wanna go to the nurse?"
Quinn closed her eyes and tried to focus, on her breathing, on not getting sick right then and there, on anything but Puck's hand on her arm. She'd known forgetting the Peptol Bismol tablets at home this morning was a big mistake. Opening her eyes she looked up at Puck, ready to tell him off for the suggestion when she felt the contents of her lunch rise in her throat. Clamping her hand tightly over her mouth she shook herself from Puck's grasp and sprinted forward to the garbage can at the end of the hall. Dropping her bag on the floor beside it she put one hand on the edge of the can before leaning over and proceeding to regurgitate the contents of her last meal. Once she was done she reached for her Cheerios water bottle, taking a big swig before cringing as she remembered that Puck was only a dozen feet away.
Puck stood frozen in place as he watched Quinn run down the hall to the nearest trash can. He shook himself out of his thoughts and looked around quickly, hoping nobody saw the scene. He didn't stand a chance speaking to her if there were witnesses around. Slowly, he approached her and picked up her bag quietly, trying not to startle her. "Quinn," he started, before he stopped suddenly, completely lost on what to say. "It's - I. Fuck, just answer me honestly okay? I'll believe whatever you tell me."
Quinn tried to take a deep breath to calm herself down but it was too late. "What do you want from me, Puck?" She asked, attempting to blink the tears away from her eyes as a final and desperate attempt to keep herself together. She'd done so well at it over the last few days, if you smiled for long enough even you could start believing your own lies. But now, with Puck here everything was coming back and fast. So fast she wasn't sure she could keep up. Shaking her head Quinn looked up at Puck, "stop being so nice to me."
Puck closed his eyes, growing frustrated with her again. He couldn't help it, she always got so defensive around him. "Believe it or not, I actually give a damn about you for some reason," he gritted out. He was passed caring if she believed him or not, that was completely her choice. Swallowing hard to calm himself down at her upset appearance he lowered his voice once more. "That night, we didn't use any..." he rolled his eyes at how idiotic and awkward she made him. "We didn't use a condom, did we?"
Quinn hardened her gaze at Puck, pissed he was even asking her that. “Are you really that stupid? What do you think?” She asked, her voice raising slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. The audacity he had, honestly. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known that she was a virgin, that she had no idea what to do. Unlike her Puck was the one with all of the experience, he should’ve been the smart one even while inebriated.
Puck 's eyes widened and he took a step back, shaking his head. "But, you -" he bit his lip and dropped the bag, putting a hand over his eyes and tilting his head back. "You are, aren't you?" he asked, not looking at her. He couldn't bring himself to do it, the situation was way more messed up than he thought it was. Initially, he'd figured she was pissed cause he was her first but he could handle that. But this... "You're actually pregnant?"
Quinn found herself shutting her eyes once more in an attempt to block out the train wreck that was occurring before her eyes. “Do you have to say it out loud?” She cried, eyes flying open as she looked up at him. She had burst into tears in the emergency room when the doctor told her, she really didn’t need Puck saying it now too. This completely destroyed her initial plan of ignoring the issue at hand until she couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Puck finally brought his eyes down to look at her, his mouth open as though trying to say something but then shutting again when he couldn't. He moved so he could lean on the wall next to them and took a deep breath. "What are you, uh, gonna do?" He asked hesitantly, glancing across to her again. He had the sudden urge to just run but his feet stayed planted to the ground, right there next to the girl who he was pretty sure was going to hate him forever.
Quinn had managed to calm down slightly though that wasn’t saying much. Taking another deep breath she wiped the tears from her eyes. Shrugging she pressed her lips together for a moment before speaking. “I don’t – the doctor gave me these pamphlets but I haven’t read through them yet.” She confessed, unsure of why she was even telling him this. “I can’t, you know, I mean, I won’t.” She continued, absentmindedly playing with the hem of her Cheerios uniform as she spoke.
Puck nodded along with her words, still completely out of it. This had to be some kind of creepy joke because he couldn't have knocked up Quinn Fabray; of all the girls, it had to be the one who could barely stand to talk to him most of the time. "Whatever you do, that's up to you," he shrugged, trying to appear casual, instead of as scared as he felt. "Does anyone else know?" He moved closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder, unsure how to even start comforting her.
Quinn was grateful that Puck seemed to be on her side with this. Though she didn’t want him involved in the first place knowing that he’d just let her make the decisions here certainly made things a little bit easier. “Thanks,” she said before quickly shaking her head in response to his question. “Who would I tell?” She asked with a raise of her eyebrow, “if this gets out my life is all over. Heck, my life’s already over so thanks for that.” She found herself staring at the floor once more, trying to keep it together. Sure it was just the two of them in the empty hallway but the last thing she needed was Puck seeing her as weak.
Puck swallowed hard and let his head fall back again. "Dunno," he shrugged, knowing full well she wouldn't tell anybody. "And wait, it's not like I did this on purpose, Quinn," he snapped, caught off guard at his own attitude. He pulled his head back so he could look at her properly, a frown etched on his forehead. "I'm just as ruined if anyone finds out too, you know? My mom is one mistake away from kicking me out and Rach would kill me."
Quinn furrowed her eyebrows at the mention of their friend. His mom she could understand, Quinn was petrified about the possibility of her parents finding out but Rachel? "That's what you're worried about in this situation?" She asked, her voice raising slightly as she looked up to catch his eye. "You find out I'm pregnant and you're scared of what Rachel's reaction will be? You know, I should have known better." She said, shaking her head as she leaned down to pick up her backpack and throw it over her shoulder. "Don't worry though, even if this kid comes out sporting a mohawk I will go to my grave insisting it's not your child." Pushing her arm through the straps she readjusted the bag on her back. "Sorry to inconvenience you, I'll see you around, Puck."
Puck groaned as she got mad at him and rolled his eyes. Why couldn't she ever see it from someone else’s point of view? "Quinn," he said as sternly as he could. "You know, just as much as anyone, Rachel is the only one that's been there for me. So yeah, her opinion kind of matters." He reached out and grabbed onto her bag gently so she couldn't go anywhere and his eyes flicked over her face, trying to make sense of everything. "If you want me to be there then I will, whatever you decide. You might think I'm some waste of space but I'll do what I have to do," he moved closer to her, lowering his voice just so it was between them. "I'm sorry I messed up but we're kind of in this together now."
Quinn looked down, annoyed he was even trying to defend himself. "Yeah, and look how well that turned out." She said, her voice laced with sarcasm. Annoyed when he grabbed her bag in an attempt to keep her from leaving she found herself glaring at him for the umpteenth time that afternoon alone. The blonde sighed and pushed a piece of hair that had fallen loose behind her ear. She didn't want this, any of this, him being nice to her, them being in this situation together. Of course none of that mattered now, what was done was done and whether she liked it or not there was no going back. "I was going to go to Yale."
Puck shrugged at that, confused why she was even annoyed at him for the Rachel comment. "What does that even mean?" he let go of her bag when she glared at him, not wanting to cause any more problems with her. He licked his lips and sighed, knowing Yale was a pretty big deal for her. "You could still probably go to college," he told him firmly. "You'd be awesome at Yale. I just, I don't really know what you want me to do." He shook his head and tried to catch her gaze, despite her avoiding him on purpose. "I know you hate me but whatever you decide to do, will you please just let me know?"
Quinn rolled her eyes, she should have known that he wouldn't understand it. Why would he? Sighing she shook her head, "you're kidding, right? They're going to send someone from the admissions board down here to meet me to see if I'd be a good fit at Yale. Even you can't be stupid enough to believe they're going to let a girl who's six months pregnant into one of the most prestigious schools in the country." Biting her lower lip the blonde found herself biting back the tears once more. "Nothing, I can take care of this on my own." She said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.
Puck looked at her, lost for words. He didn't know what to say to make the Yale thing better or the baby thing go away to make her feel better. "I'm sorry," was all that managed to come out of his mouth and he looked down at the floor. He tried to ignore it but the stupid comment stung but he hid it pretty well, he hoped. "I - You don't have to be alone, alright? If you want to be, then whatever, but this is half my baby too so I'm half responsible."
Quinn didn't say anything, nothing was going to change their predicament so what was the point? "I wouldn't want to upset Rachel." She said, still annoyed by how worried everyone got when it came to her friends feelings. "Besides, I'll be fine, I've got money saved up and the doctor referred me to this really great clinic so I don't have to worry about my parents finding out. I'll be fine."
Puck furrowed his eyebrows at that. "Won't they figure it out when you, you know," he put his hands in front of his stomach and mimicked it growing bigger. "When you like, pop? And you know I have money too Quinn. Whatever you need, alright?" He wasn't going to be like his dad, not for a second. Even if she fought him he was going to be there for her, whatever it took, it was just a case of letting her understand that which was the obstacle.
Quinn narrowed her eyes at him and his gesture. "Please just stop talking. I'll figure it out when it gets to that point but for now," she said, stopping to play with the straps on her backpack, "ignorance is bliss." Quinn probably had another month until it would be unable to hide anymore and though it would be difficult she was sure she could do it. "And I already told you, I'm fine. I have my first appointment next week, you don't have to pretend to be interested."
Puck stepped away from her with a shake of the head. He could have offered her money on a silver platter and assurance he was there for her and she'd knock it out of his hands. "I am interested," he told her, annoyed he even had to explain this. He was just as shocked and as scared as her, but she'd never see that even if someone paid her to. "But obviously you've already made up your mind about what I am and what I'm not. There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" He shrugged and looked down the corridor so he didn't have to look at her. "Whatever, you're going to do what you want to do anyway so..."
Quinn pursed her lips, her gaze shifting to the right in order to avoid looking at him. Why couldn't he just shut up and agree with her instead of insisting otherwise? Was he trying to make her feel bad? Clearly. "Look, I'll uh, let you know what happens next week at the appointment." She offered, not sure what else to do. Quinn was scared, petrified really, she had no idea what she was doing or how she was going to get through this. She really couldn't handle Puck trying to help and only confusing her more in the process. If only he could see that.
Puck couldn't do anything else but shrug, whatever was going to happen next was all Quinn's decision anyway and he knew when to take the step back. He fiddled with the hem on his shirt, a little uncomfortable with the current atmosphere and looked down at his shoes. "Yeah, uh, if you could keep me informed? I'd appreciate it," he turned his gaze down the corridor knowing she probably didn't want him around much longer. "Do you need a lift home or whatever?"
Quinn bit her lip before responding but finally nodded in agreement. "Yeah, sure." She agreed, unsure of how much he really wanted to know. Did he want to come to ultrasounds and checkups? Because Quinn knew full well that the two of them wouldn't be able to make it through one of those things alive. "Are you sure?" She asked, still not quite understanding why he was being so nice to her. "I mean, I was just going to call my mom or take the bus."
Puck smiled genuinely for the first time during the conversation as she grew softer with him, he liked her when she was approachable like this. Not that it usually lasted that long, but he’d take whatever she gave him. He continued to avoid her gaze, though, still shaken up by the entire conversation. “Yeah, you don’t live that far away from me and I’m not letting you catch some gross bus home,” he nodded in the direction of the exit as though to prompt her to leave.
Quinn chuckled and rolled her eyes. "It's not like it's that big of a deal, it's only one bus." She defended, still letting Puck usher her towards the side doors. Alright, so maybe he wasn't all that bad but that still didn't change the fact that if people found out they were having a baby her life was over. His stupid Puckerman charm was what got them into this mess, it certainly wasn't going to save them now.
Puck fell into step beside her and hooked his thumbs into the straps of his bags, swinging his elbows out and shrugging. "They're just gross, trust me," he told her knowingly. "Plus, I'm sure I saw Stoner Brett pass out on one of the chairs once, then throw up and they didn't clean up after him. So really, it's like I'm saving you." He moved in front of her and opened the door up for her, smirking at her and raising his eyebrows. He knew he was possibly trying to hard but he needed to feel normal around her again before this entire situation blew up later down the line.
Quinn 's face fell as Puck spoke, truly disgusted by his little horror story. "You're like my knight in shinning armour." She said sarcastically as they made their way through the doors out into the parking lot. A small smile graced her lips when he held the door open for her, slightly taken back by the action. Since when did Noah Puckerman do chivalry? Shaking her head she followed him through the parking lot to his truck.
Puck laughed at that and followed her out into the parking lot. "I'd be such a good white knight," he boasted as he flexed his arms a little, showing off. He nudged her gently, trying to get her to smile, "Plus, you don't see many with a mohawk so I'd be unique." Reaching the truck, he unlocked it so she could get in and he quickly made his way to his own side, clambering in and starting it.
Quinn laughed out loud at his comment before climbing into the truck. "I seriously hope this thing isn't half as ridiculous as you are." She commented as she got herself situated in the passenger seat. It was weird, up until now Quinn hadn't even thought about the fact that the baby she was carrying would wind up taking after the two of them. It was frightening to say the least.
Puck paused for a moment as he let her sentence sink in before he backed out of the space to drive her home. He was going to have a baby, the was the fact. And he or she would have traits of his and traits of Quinn's. He tightened his hands on the steering wheel and blew out a breath nervously, "Don't call the baby a thing," he said softly, still wrapping his mind around the images. "It makes me think of something out of a horror film."
Quinn sighed aloud, "geez, you've known you're going to be a father for twenty minutes and you've already gone crazy." She teased, glad she was finally starting to loosen up a bit. "Gross." She said, wincing a little, "that'd be great when we try to put the baby up for adoption. If there's one thing people love it's a mutated baby."
Puck hummed in agreement with her. "Oh yeah, best twenty minutes of my life," he told her sarcastically. He turned onto her street and glanced across at her as she mentioned, for the first time, her future plans. "Adoption?" he licked his lips and focused on the street, trying to remember where her house was. "That's cool. And our baby won't be mutated have you seen us?" he settled on saying, not wanting to rock the boat with her too much.
Quinn raised an eyebrow as she looked over at him. "I don't see any better ideas, do you?" She asked, not really caring whether or not he had an answer or not. "Our baby." She mumbled under her breath, her eyebrows furrowing as she said it. "You're ok, right?" She finally asked in a moment of sympathy, "I mean, I wasn't going to spring all of this on you."
Puck shrugged as he drove to her house and pulled up outside, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm fine," he attempted a smile but he wasn't sure if it came across very well. This kid was going to grow up without him so he was going to end up like his dad after all. That was just great. He knew better than to argue the decision though, he could barely look after himself or talk to Quinn in a civilized way for more than an hour. They couldn't raise a baby. "I know, I'm sure you would have told me in your own time."
Quinn bit her lip, not exactly buying what Puck was saying though she wouldn't argue. At his words she felt her heart sink, knowing full well that if she could have gotten away with it he never would have known. "Of course." She said through gritted teeth. After unbuckling her seat belt Quinn grabbed her bag and pulled it over her shoulder. "I'll uh, see you around, Puck. Thanks for the ride."
Puck kept his eyes forward as she unbuckled her seatbelt and moved to get out of the truck. "You'll probably see me in Glee," he commented with a small laugh, still convinced he was drunk when he agreed to join the stupid club. "Just look for the swaying jock in the back." He kept his eyes turned away from her as she got out, instead choosing to fiddle with the radio so he could avoid anymore confrontation. He didn't want her to see how confused and scared he actually was; once he had his head on straight, he'd go back to annoying her. He was sure of that.
Quinn laughed, rolling her eyes once more. "I'll be sure to keep an eye out. I promise," she teased, not entirely sure how she'd gone from yelling at him a mere half an hour ago to laughing at him. Reaching out for the door handle she opened it and hopped out of the truck. Looking back at him once more she bit her lip, "thanks again, Puck." She said, giving him a small smile before shutting the door behind her and making her way into her house.
Puck watched as she made her way into the house, not moving until the front door was shut tight. He shook his head, the girl completely threw him off his game constantly and it felt like he'd been on some kind of roller coaster just talking to her. He checked her house once more before he moved off; he knew his mom would go mad but he had to take a few hours away to just forget everything that had happened.
